Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

1. Marriage, Divorce& Remarriage The Mental Divorce Position

2. Purpose of such lessons • Not to put restrictions on any individual. • Not to ensure anyone’s unhappiness while here on earth. • If properly understood, it can be seen that the motivation is love. • It would be improper for any Christian to encourage a marriage that would involve sin, and endanger the souls of those concerned.

3. God’s Law on Marriage • One man, one woman for a lifetime • Matthew 19:3-6

4. Matthew 19:3-6 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

5. God’s Law on Marriage • One man, one woman for a lifetime • Matthew 19:3-6 • We must emphasize the permanent nature of the marriage relationship • We must encourage young people to find mates that are worthy of a lifetime commitment, because that is the commitment they make when they marry!

6. What Happens at Marriage? • A bond is formed • All binding and loosing is done by God, and is revealed to man through law (ex: Matt. 16:19)

7. Matthew 16:19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

8. What Happens at Marriage? • A bond is formed • All binding and loosing is done by God, and is revealed to man through law (ex: Matt. 16:19) • Marriage forms a bond by law (Romans 7:2-3)

9. Romans 7:2-3 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.

10. What Happens at Marriage? • A bond is formed • All binding and loosing is done by God, and is revealed to man through law (ex: Matt. 16:19) • Marriage forms a bond by law (Romans 7:2-3) • However, we must not confuse the marriage with the bond! • It is possible to be married to one, and be bound to another (Romans 7:3)

11. Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. This example shows a woman who is divorced from the one to which she is bound, marrying another.

12. What Happens at Marriage? • A bond is formed • All binding and loosing is done by God, and is revealed to man through law (ex: Matt. 16:19) • Marriage forms a bond by law (Romans 7:2-3) • However, we must not confuse the marriage with the bond! • It is possible to be married to one, and be bound to another (Romans 7:3) • Consider the example of Herod, Herodias and Philip (Mark 6:17-18)

13. Mark 6:17-18 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife; for he had married her. 18 For John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife.” Herod was breaking God’s law by marrying a woman who remained bound by God’s law to another man. Divorce ended the marriage, but God did not loose the bond between Philip and Herodias.

14. Distinguishing between Marriage and the Bond Two people can be bound, and acceptably married to one another. For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. (Romans 7:2)

15. Distinguishing between Marriage and the Bond A person can be unmarried, but still bound to another. Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

16. Distinguishing between Marriage and the Bond One mate can be unmarried but bound, while the other mate is free to remarry. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9)

17. Distinguishing between Marriage and the Bond One mate can be bound to his first mate, while unacceptably married to another. For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife; for he had married her. 18 For John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife.” (Mark 6:17-18) (cf. Romans 7:2-3)

18. Romans 7:2-3 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.

19. Mental Divorce Scenario • By Proposition • The scriptures teach that the innocent person (free of fornication) who has been put away without God’s or his/her approval and against whom adultery has been committed may remarry. • By example • When Jack puts away Jill for a reason other than fornication, though he obtains a civil divorce, they are not really divorced.  It is called divorce only “accomodatively”.  If Jack then remarries another woman, he is guilty of adultery.  So, he can now be mentally put away by Jill.  This is the real divorce.  Now, Jill is free to remarry.

20. Mental Divorce Advocates • Confuse the marriage bond with the marriage. • Mistakenly believe that adultery “breaks” the marriage bond • In marriage both are bound by the law of God. • Adultery does not “break” the bond. In fact, “break” is not the proper concept at all. • Adultery gives cause for the innocent to divorce the guilty. In this case only, GOD “looses” the bond or obligation of the innocent party. (Matthew 19:9; Luke 6:18)

21. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. • The innocent party may divorce for the cause of “sexual immorality”, and God looses their bond or obligation. They are free to remarry. • The divorced person is never shown in scripture to be loosed from the bond.

22. Luke 16:18 Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. • Luke 16:18 describes the exact scenario that the mental divorce advocate envisions as giving liberty to remarry. • Clearly, one who is divorced is never given any authority to remarry. • If a divorce is for a cause other than sexual immorality, both individuals remain bound to one another by God by law. (cf. 1 Cor. 7:10-11)

23. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

24. Conclusion: Mental Divorce • While divorces for reasons other than sexual immorality are not acceptable to God, they are divorces. • When such divorces happen, both individuals remain bound by God’s law, and must either remain unmarried, or be reconciled to one another. • The individual who has been divorced (put away) is never loosed from his or her bond (until death). • The one who divorces (puts away) his or her spouse is loosed by God from the bond only when they have divorced for the cause of “sexual immorality”