7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

1. 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Introduction lessons

2. What is a habit? • Habits: things we do repeatedly, but are hardly aware that we have them. • Some are good (exercise, planning ahead, showing respect). • Some are bad (negative thinking, blaming others). • Some don't matter (taking showers at night, eating yogurt with a fork, reading last chapter in a book)

3. The 7 habits will help me how? • Get control of your life • Improve relationships with your friends/family • Make smarter decisions • Get along with your parents • Overcome addiction • Define your values and what matters most to you • Get more done in less time • Increase your self-confidence • Be happy • Find balance (school/work/friends/family/activities)

4. What is a paradigm? • Paradigm: perception, the way you see something, your point of view • Can create limitations if they are way off the mark. • How do you view yourself? • How do you view others? • How do you "center" yourself - what is the driving force of my life? • Friends? Stuff? School? Parents? Sports/Hobbies? Self? • All can lead to lack of balance in your life and limit ability to work with others and be successful.

5. What is a principle? • principle: life centers that can be applied equally to everyone. • Examples: honesty, service, love, hard work, respect, gratitude, moderation, fairness, integrity, loyalty, responsibility • What are their opposites? Imagine living a life based on their opposites.

6. Personal Bank Account • You, your character, the private victory • This account is how you feel about yourself

7. Habit 1: Be Proactive • I am the force. • Proactive people make choices based on values, think before they act • You cannot control everything that happens to you, you can control what you do about it. • Press “pause:” get control, think about your response, make smarter decisions!

8. Actions of Proactive People Proactive People: • Are not easily offended • Take responsibility for their choices • Think before they act • Bounce back when something bad happens • Always find a way to make it happen • Focus on the things they can do something about, and don’t worry about things they can’t.

9. Sound Proactive • I’ll do it • I can do better than that • Let’s look at all our options • I choose to • There’s “gotta” be a way • I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off on me

10. Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind “Control your own destiny or someone else will.” – Jack Welch • Develop a clear picture of where you want to go with your life. • Decide what your values are and set goals.

11. Without a vision of the end… “Would you tell me please which way I ought to walk from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where-”said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way to walk,” said the Cat. -From Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

12. You are on a mission • Mission statement – what is really important to you. As you go through life, you make decisions to carry out this larger vision. Watch out for these roadblocks: • Negative labels • “It’s all over” syndrome • Wrong wall

13. Your mission and your goals Mission = Goals =

14. Goal! • Count the cost • Avoid withdrawals to your PBA/consider benefits • Write them down • This forces you to be specific • Do it! • “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda, the great Jedi Master • Use momentous moments • Setbacks, tragedies, new beginnings have power. • Rope up • Strength from others will lead you to greater success.

15. Focus on your mission “Most of us will never do great things. But we can do small things in a great way.” – Mouritsen Carpe Diem!

16. Habit 3: Put first things first • You have a lot to do and there isn’t enough time to do it! • Prioritize and manage your time • Overcome your fears and be strong during hard moments!

17. Will and Won’t Power • Will-power: the strength to say yes to your most important things • Won’t power: the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure

18. Life is like a suitcase… The more organized you are, the more time you will have for family, friends, schoolwork, yourself, your hobbies.

19. Time Quadrants

20. The action plan • Use your planner (it won’t tie you down, it will free you up!) • Plan weekly (take 15 minutes to plan your week) • Identify the most important things you need to accomplish this week • Block out time for these things • Schedule everything else • Adapt daily

21. Comfort vs. Courage • In order to achieve first things first, you must overcome fear and peer pressure. • Comfort zone is risk free. No stretching needed. Filled with things you know. • Courage zone is filled with adventure, risk and challenge. The only place you will find opportunity and your full potential. • Winning means rising each time you fall.

22. Habits 1+2+3=Personal Victories • Habit one: you are the driver, not the passenger. • Habit two: since you are driving, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there! • Habit three: Get there! Don’t let roadblocks take you off course!

23. Relationship Bank Account • The amount of trust and confidence you have in your relationships • You have accounts with everyone you meet • These accounts never close

24. Habit 4: Think Win-Win • I can win, and so can you. • There is plenty of success to go around. • You must accomplish private victory first. • Use competition as a benchmark to measure yourself against. • Compare yourself against your own potential.

25. And the winner is NOT… • Win-lose situation: you get your way, but someone else doesn’t. • Using other people for own selfish purposes • Getting ahead at the expense of another • Spreading rumors (putting someone else down puts you “up.” • Insisting on getting your way (no concern for others) • Being jealous/envious when good happens to others.

26. When you’re not the winner… • Lose-Win situation: take the blame/back down to avoid arguments, tension. • Set low expectations, compromising your standards again and again. • Giving into peer pressure. • Lose-Lose situation: if I am going down, you are going down, too. • If both people want to win at all costs, both are going to end up losing

27. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood. • Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. • Can you hear what people are not saying? • Listen without judging and without giving advice. Try to see and feel the world from the speaker’s perspective. • Mirror the words of others to uncover the deeper issue

28. Is anyone listening? Poor listening styles to avoid – do you hear me? • Spacing out • Pretend listening • Selective listening • Word listening • Self-centered listening

29. Habit 6: Synergize “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller Synergy: achieved when 2 or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.

30. Synergy is a process • Define the problem or opportunity • Their way (Seek first to understand the ideas of others) • My way (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas) • Brainstorm(create new options and ideas) • High Way(find the best solution)

31. Great teams are made up of great people… • Plodders • Followers • Innovators • Harmonizers • Show-offs

32. Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw “The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.” – President John F. Kennedy Keep your personal self sharp so you can better deal with life. Keep your “saw” sharp by building in time to keep your body, brain and emotions in shape.

33. Sharpening strategies