Sephy’s Journal

1. Sephy’s Journal Do Not Read

2. Funeral • Today it was Callum’s sister, Lynette, funeral. She apparently died in a car accident, yet it wasn’t that that shook me, it was how I was treated at the funeral. I went to Callum’s house because I wanted to show my respects for Lynette. I assumed that I would be treated the way I was when I visited Callum’s house before. But I was too stupid to realize that things had probably changed. When I came, Mr. McGregor looked at me like I was a disgusting fungus that was growing at his navel and Jude look at me with fury in every feature of his face. Harry was there too, I couldn’t believe he was there, but Harry too, was staring angrily at me. He accused me as the reason why he lost his job and not even caring what happened to him after he “left”. But that wasn’t the worst part. What hurt was that none of them wanted me there, even though I was welcomed at their house three years ago. Each move I take towards Callum just seemed to pave my way faster to hell.

3. Bombing • I cannot believe what happened today! No, no, no…AHH! Today I was shopping with Mother at Dundale shopping mall (TORTURE!) and then I was waiting for Callum at the café. I was wondering when he would come, when suddenly he raced into the café and practically dragged me out of the café, telling me we had to go. I didn’t get why Callum looked so terrified, other people didn’t get it either but they seemed to click faster than me cause everyone was soon screaming and running at of the mall. As soon as we were out, I rounded on Callum when suddenly the shopping centre exploded. The most colossal boom shook my bones and for a moment, I thought I was dead. Yet, after, when Callum was checking that I was OK, I realized that Callum knew. He knew this would happen. But Callum wouldn’t bomb the mall, never! He wouldn’t…would he? No, he couldn’t.

4. Chardonnay • Hmm…I not sure if I’ve finally gone off the trolley. But last night, after the bombing, I felt like the inside of me had been liquidized. Callum knowing about the bombing…he saved my life, but I almost wish he hadn’t. I needed something to calm me down. I was thinking of milk or orange juice when Mother’s Chardonnay caught my eye. My mother practically lived in this bottle, drinking to forget things, exactly what I needed to do. I wanted to forget the whole bombing and how bad of an emotional scar Callum left me with. The first sip almost made me gag, it tasted like refined vinegar. But slowly, after each sip I understood why Mother lived her life in Chardonnay. Half a glass later, I felt warm and squishy inside, funny and pleasant, Chardonnay wasn’t bad at all. It rocked my head gently, forwards and backwards and it put me to sleep before my head hit the pillow. Even though I woke up with the most horrible headache, I understood what Mother meant by she was just drinking to smooth out the rough edges. I just didn’t care about anything after drinking a glass, isn’t that cool?

5. Meeting • I met Callum at the beach today. I had had a glass of Chardonnay before meeting him, when I did, I couldn't’t stop laughing, Callum’s strange expression and him sniffing my breath brought tears to my eyes. But then, Callum grabbed me by the shoulders and was shaking me like a county dog shakes a rabbit, demanding why I was drinking. The look of pure fury scared me. I told him that I was only taking a glass or two of cider today and he said roared at me, saying things like “Is Mummy not giving you enough love?” or Daddy not giving you a big enough allowance?” Callum had been acting horrible. He accused me of being a lush, a drunk. Finally I snapped. I told him that I was tired of the way my mother, my father, my sister and him all made me feel and that I wanted something more in my life. Callum had snorted and asked me if I’d thought I would find that in a wine bottle. But truthfully, I didn’t really know where to look. Callum softened and pleaded me not to follow my mother, he said she was probably going to the grave or a mental hospital. I realized how Callum must see me, a silly girl who thought that drinking made her grow up faster, a way to stop feeling, ‘cause then nothing could could hurt me. He asked me to promise him that I wouldn’t drink, I told him I would try and then I kissed him. But Callum moved back, telling me that I stank of alcohol. That made me furious, I told him he was as cruel as my dad, that he was part of the militia. Callum denied he was, but he wouldn’t tell me how he knew. I spat at him that I wished he had let me get blown up, when suddenly he kissed me. It wasn’t like the other times he kissed me, soon, I was kissing him. Our kiss deepened, our hands wandering. It made things better, but it still wasn’t enough.

6. Hanging • I CANNOT NOT EXPRESS HOW MAD I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!@#$%^!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare Mother takes me to that horrid execution!!!! How dare she!!!! Then she claims she help in every way to stop Callum’s dad from hanging!!! ARGH!!!! Good thing Mr. McGregor was saved at the last minute, I would’ve gone ballistic if he had hung! I should probably explain what happened. After school, Mother told me to put on THE DRESS, without telling me why. When we got to our destination, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Hewmett Prison! Why was I dressed in my £1,000 Jackson Spacey dress get to go to a prison. I had a very bad hunch, and I was right. We had come to see Mr. McGregor’s execution. I shouted that I would not stay, but Mother slapped me so hard that I had to sit down. It was horrible. The guards led Mr. McGregor to the platform, pulling a hood and the noose over his head. The clock started ringing six o’clock, when it got to the sixth chime it would all be over. The clock chimed one, two, three, four, five…suddenly, there was a loud “STOP!”. The prison governor pushed his way up, telling the audience that the execution was stayed, Mr. McGregor’s sentence would be a life sentence now. Relief didn’t wash or flooded me, it doused every part of me. The crowd erupted, I not really sure why. But I was hurried away by Mother, and the fury was digging trenches in me, getting deeper as we got closer to home. That’s when I exploded at home. I screamed at Mother, I threw her glass of Chardonnay at the wall and told her to lick it up. Mother slapped, grabbed and shook me, telling me that she was the reason why the McGregors were able to afford the legal pays and Kelani Adams. But she couldn’t have helped them! She’s never done anything for anyone in her life. After yelling at her, I ran to my bedroom and simply cried for Mr. McGregor, for Callum, for the day and, admittedly, for myself. P.S., did I mention that Mr. McGregor shouted “LONG LIVE THE LIBRERATION MILITIA”?