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MOVE Conference. Brokenness. Why do these issues remain in the darkness?. Painful, hard to admit weakness, pride Saying it out loud makes it true, real, keeping silent maybe we can hide it. Admitting admits we aren’t perfect, and our society demands self perfection.
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MOVE Conference Brokenness
Why do these issues remain in the darkness? • Painful, hard to admit weakness, pride • Saying it out loud makes it true, real, keeping silent maybe we can hide it. • Admitting admits we aren’t perfect, and our society demands self perfection. • Belief that other people have it worse and we aren’t important • As a result we minimize our pain and what we have gone through • This is dangerous • If we don’t understand how can someone else? • Must be my fault I’m here, I’ve done something wrong • Don’t want to burden the ones you tell • Help is scary and the healing process is terrifying.
Why are these issues difficult to talk about with those who struggle? • There is a belief that there are “right words” and then things get better • There are no right words • What will happen if they don’t want me to know • I might push them the wrong way • I don’t want to find out if we are the problem or a part of the cause. • I’m afraid that if I ask you about your problems, you will ask about mine • I can’t deal with that. • Afraid to find out how broken they really are.
Issues with Stigma: Definition: Mark of disgrace - This is always fed by lies • “Oh you just need some fresh air” • Addicts chose, or chose, to become that way • We don’t do well with things that don’t resolve. • As humans we need an ending to the story (fairytale ending) • Society doesn’t forget. • They hold onto our problems; another reason to stay silent. • “Who wants to be associated with that?”
Moments of Guilt / Feelings of Shame: • Guilt and shame fuel addiction and mental illness • Infinity Cycle: Pain/hurt addiction/coping mechanism Relief Shame Pain/Hurt…etc. • Shame increases with each cycle and the ruts get deeper. • Shame always leads to isolation • Guilt I did something wrong • Shame I am something wrong • Difference between Guilt and Shame? • Guilt motivates positive and shame motivates negative
Isolation Hopelessness • Isolation is where we end up hopeless. • “The gift of getting caught, the greatness of being known.” • How do you create a place where it’s ok to not be ok, and offer hope? • Creating a place where it’s ok to not be okay is not the same as creating a place where we aren’t trying to be okay.
Awareness and Education • Awareness is great, but understanding is what changes lives. • Send an invitation to an open, honest, conversation.