Creating a Culture of Respect and Civility

1. Creating a Culture of Respect and Civility Presenters: Maribeth Bohley Deirdre Anderson

2. Agenda • Activity • Definitions • Research • Cost of Incivility • Why don’t we take the “High Road” • Workplace Stressors • Reducing Stress • Staying civil through the stress • Assessments

3. ACTIVITY

4. Rude, discourteous, impolite, self-centered, aggressive, unkind, thoughtless behavior or language. The word incivility is derived from the Latin “incivilis” meaning “not a citizen.” Civility • a polite act or expression that encompasses more than just good manners…it includes behavior that helps to preserve the norms for mutual respect in the workplace and in the world Respect Incivility • Action or attitude developed from deep listening and understanding, cultural and personal sensitivity, caring, empathy or compassion that leads to an environment of honesty and mutual trust or behaviors that reveal value for something or someone.

5. CIVILITY: In a word (wordle)

6. Video

7. INCIVILITY

8. CIVILITY: in Deed

9. “1st Every action done in Company, ought to be with some sign of respect, to those that are present”

10. Research Findings… • 99% witnessed incivility • 96% reported firsthand • 80% of employees wasted work effort worrying about an incident • 78% reported reduced organizational dedication • 63% wasted effort by avoiding an instigator • 48% reduced work effort • 47% decreased work attendance • 38% purposely decreased work quality • 12% changed jobs/turnover • 25% admitted taking their frustration out on their customers (Christine Porath & Christine Pearson)

11. More Money… Managers at Fortune 1,000 firms spend the equivalent of seven weeks a year dealing with the aftermath of incivility. People are less likely to buy from a company with an employee they perceive as rude, even if the rudeness isn’t directed at them. (Harvard Business Review, Jan/Feb 2013)

12. Even More Money… Fear + Gossip + Undermining of Trust + Rude Behavior + Drama+ Bullying + Poor Attitudes = • 350 billion in lost revenue in USA alone! (Christine Porath & Christine Pearson)

13. Every organization can easily name the worst offenders – even if no formal complaints are made against them. To be fair, some people are clueless that their behavior is uncivil.

14. Video

16. Where does Incivility come from? • I get up every morning and think how can I be uncivil today? • I inherited it from my great Aunt Anna • I like it when others are mean to me so I’m mean to them. • I was raised in a barn. • I sometimes behave uncivilly when I least expect it because I am stressed.

17. MORE than Money: MORALE "Being the victim of incivility leaves employees depleted because they must expend energy to understand why they were targeted and how to respond." "When employees are mentally fatigued, it is more difficult for them to keep their negative impulses and emotions in check, which leads them to be condescending and rude to colleagues.” “This happens even for employees who desire to be agreeable and polite; they simply lack the energy to suppress curt and impatient responses.”

18. Video

20. Causes of Workplace Stress • Fear of being laid off • More overtime due to staff cutbacks • Pressure to perform to meet rising expectations but with no increase in job satisfaction • Pressure to work at optimum levels—all the time! • Unrealistic deadlines

21. Reduce StressTotal Person Workout • Physical – Activity, Relaxation and Breathing • Mental – Reflectionand Engagement • Emotional – Laughing, Crying and Hoping • Spiritual – Praying or Meditating • Social – Sharing, Playing and Balance

22. Physical - Activity • Regular exercise is a powerful stress reliever. • Aerobic exercise • 30 minutes of activity each day – break it up • Immediate exercise helps regain balance at work • Take a stroll • Squeeze a stress ball/bear

23. Physical - Relaxation Get a massage Pamper yourself with a manicure or pedicure Take a hot bath or shower Get good night’s sleep

24. Mental • Manage time • Create a balanced schedule • Leave earlier in the morning • Plan regular breaks • Prioritize tasks • Break projects into small steps • Delegate responsibility • Be willing to compromise • Find your brain candy • Gratitude

25. Emotional • Watch a movie - comedy/drama • Watch funny video clips on Youtube • Laughing Yoga • Amusement park • Go to a comedy club

26. Spiritual • Meditation • Yoga • Tai chi • Prayer • Listening to or creating music • Spending time in nature • Reflection

27. Social • Share thoughts with a good friend/listener • Play cards • Take pottery lessons with a friend • Learn line dances with a group

28. Breathing

29. What have we learned about Civility?

30. Assessment: Examples in the Workplace • Going out of your way to help someone • Acknowledging mistakes and making appropriate amends for them • Saying “please” and “thank you” • Using a positive tone of voice • Refusing to participate in gossip • Apologizing or asking for forgiveness • Filling the copier with paper after using the last piece • Showing respect for people and their opinions and feelings • Giving credit where credit is due • Honoring • Emotional Intelligence • Failing to return phone calls, e-mails, voice mails • Humorous put downs, eye rolling, heavy sarcasm, derogatory remarks • Not keeping appointments • Chipping away at someone’s self-esteem through constant slights (e.g., Repeatedly leaving one person out of the group) • Yelling, phone slamming, fist pounding, throwing objects, temper tantrums, spitting • Ignoring others and their opinions • Addressing others in an unprofessional manner • Bullying • Passive aggressive undermining Civility Incivility

31. Think • T- Is it True • H- Is it Helpful • I - Is it Inspiring • N- Is it Necessary • K- Is it Kind Before you Speak and Act

33. Don’t let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you!

34. “I am sorryif I offended you.” “I am gratefulto work with such greatpeople! “Thanks for letting me know.”

36. Thank you