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Coaching for Improvement. ‘Respect’ The bottom line. Unconscious Bias Implicit Association Theory We are generally convinced that our decisions are “rational,” but in reality most human decisions are made emotionally, and we then collect or generate the facts to justify them. Age Weight
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Unconscious Bias Implicit Association Theory We are generally convinced that our decisions are “rational,” but in reality most human decisions are made emotionally, and we then collect or generate the facts to justify them.
Age Weight Race Sexuality Skin tone Countries Gender Common IAT areas. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/uk/selectatest.jsp http://www.understandingprejudice.org/iat/index2.htm
Unconscious Bias 1. Recognise that you have biases. 2. Identify what those biases are. 3. Analyse your biases 4. Decide which of your biases you will address first. 5. Look for common interest groups. 6. Get rid of your biases.
Principle 1. Conflict is natural and inevitable, and can even be a source of improved relations. Principle 2. The other person is a human being with hopes and dreams too.
Task! Write an example of a difficult situation you have faced in the recent past. What was your mindset/goal before the meeting? How did you feel? Did you achieve a satisfactory outcome? How did the other person feel?
Collaborating (questions 1, 5, 7): Competing: (questions 4, 9, 12): Avoiding: (questions 6, 10, 15): Accommodating: (questions 3, 11, 14 Compromising: (questions 2, 8, 13)
Trust is about a relationship and about the sustaining of that relationship despite uncertainty or risk. ‘A psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behaviour of another’ (Rousseau et al 1998).
Trust is important Trustworthiness Quotient
Trustworthiness Quotient D = Dependability I = Integrity C = Credibility E = Empathy SI = Self Interest IC = Inconsistency
Difficult Behaviour includes … Denial - ‘I haven’t done anything wrong’ Rationalisation & Minimisation - ‘what do you expect me to do?’ Diversion - ‘well, you think I’m bad, what about Bob?’ Lying - ‘it wasn’t me’ Covert intimidation - it’s not what they say, but what they do or do not do!
Emotion - play the victim – by crying, using emotional blackmail to manipulate others if they feel they are criticised. Seduction – by going behind your back and above your head by seducing others in an attempt to undermine you. Projection - blame everyone else but themselves.
Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People State facts in unemotional, fact-based sentences; Make your initial statement then stop talking. Avoid arguing during the confrontation. Figure out the conflict resolution before the confrontation;
Tactics for Dealing with Difficult Interactions Focus on the real issue of the confrontation. Separate the issue from the person. Try not to take things personally. Ask questions rather than make statements. Record every communication in writing. Be assertive but not obnoxious.
Final tips: Look for lessons in every conflict. Become the observer - how do you behave? Watch out for egos, your own included. Be aware of your body language, tone and listening techniques. Don’t worry if some people don’t like you.
Avoid heated discussions. Don’t blame others. Work out the ‘worst case scenario.’ Can you live with it? Work out what’s most important, to you and to them.
Pour honey/diffuse the situation whenever you can. Build rapport. Don’t overuse the word ‘sorry’. Don’t over promise. Avoid using or reacting to “trigger” words. Don’t let them get to you.
What can you do? Practice Emotional Intelligence
Q & A’s Lester Freckleton
