Advanced Communication Skills: Was it something I said?

1. Advanced Communication Skills:Was it something I said?

2. Networking • Mental attitude • Confidence (body language, voice, words) • Communication (ask, listen, get, give) • Good judgement • Follow up

3. Objectives • Build rapport in social/professional situations • Deliver your message with enthusiasm, sincerity and clarity • Improve your skills in communicating persuasively • Give and receive criticism constructively • Know when and how to use different strategies for handling conflict

4. Persuasiveness Visual Vocal Verbal

5. Making an impact

6. What is persuasive communication?

7. The persuasive mindset Self-Control Courageous Clear goal Collaborative Compassionate Committed Curious

8. Persuasiveness: verbal impact • Prepare • Tailor your message • Structure • Ask questions • Listen • Take new information seriously • Seek agreement….or not?

9. 3As model of communication Plan accuracy 90 second focus Explore both stories Mutual understanding agreement commitment Generate options creativity goodwill action Agreed action plan

10. Persuasiveness: visual impact • Eye contact • Hands • Feet/movement • Facial expression/ animation • What you wear

11. Persuasiveness: vocal impact volume Pitch Pace Range Ar-tic-ul-at-ion

12. Planning corrective feedback

13. Giving corrective feedback

16. Kubler-Ross curve Denial Shock Integration Decisions Frustration Experiments Acceptance Depression

17. Handling criticism • When do you respond positively to criticism? • When do you respond negatively? • What makes the difference? • What could you do better?

18. Taking criticism • Emotional self-control • Roll with the punch • Hold back & ask questions • Repeat back • Consider whether justified or not • Avoid counter-attack • Ask for time • Act on it!

19. Causes of conflictRespondents’ (%) rating as a most important source of conflict at work

20. Self-talk in conflict I daren’t say anything. It might all blow up in my face. It’ll sort itself out. At least I can let off steam on the squash court later. I’ll call Liz. Maybe we can go for a quick coffee and I can get it off my chest. Right, she’s had it now. I’m going to make her life a misery. Right, now she’s had it. I’m going to make her life a misery.

21. How not to manage conflict Behind the scenes manipulation Manoeuvring for position Get you later games Sarcastic jokes Emotional blackmail Concealing/giving false information Defensiveness Office politics Gossiping Bullying Tension Mistrust Anxiety Fatigue Self-preservation Low morale Dysfunctional communication Poor decision making Lower performance STAGNATION

23. Patronise ‘Calm down’ ‘I think you’ll find…’ ‘It was clearly stated….’ Clichés ‘I hear what you’re saying,…..but…’ ‘I understand your position.’ ‘With all due respect,…’ Judge ‘You’re over-reacting/ being unreasonable.’ ‘That’s just typical of a man/techy/you’ Impose solutions ‘What you need to do is ….’ ‘The best way forward is to..’ Trap ‘Surely you must admit that…’ ‘You’re not suggesting that …?’ ‘Isn’t it obvious that…? Avoid concerns ‘That’s not the point.’ ‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.’ ‘What do you expect me to do about it? ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Give negative message ‘… not possible’ ‘….not our policy’ ‘ can’t do that’ Be defensive ‘ Look, it’s not my fault.’ ‘But I wasn’t informed of that.’ ‘That’s not true.’ Have the last word ‘Anyway it’s done now, so there’s nothing more to discuss.’ Competing: how it sounds

24. Out beyond ideas of right and wrong there is a field; I will meet you there. Rumi, 12th century Persian poet

25. How to manage conflict GROWTH Effective decision making Improved performance Collaborative effort Commitment Trust Motivation Calmness Energy Honest, direct communication Joint problem solving Sharing information Creative energy Mutual respect Assertiveness

26. Stages of development of conflict