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Narrative Rubric • When students write a narrative for ELA, 3 drafts will be collected in addition to an assessment of pre-writing work. Each submission is graded out of a possible 20 points (except for the pre-writing, which is 10 points). Below is a rubric describing what is being assessed in each draft. • Pre-Writing (10 Points) : • All pre-writing exercises specified in the notes are completed. • Draft 1 (20 Points) - Structure: • Narrative is properly structured and contains all essential elements of plot (exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, resolution). • Narrative contains a clear moment of change for the main character. • Narrative clearly shows the main character in his/her “Before” and “After” states. • Draft 2 (20 Points) - Craft • Content revisions are substantial and thorough. • Elements of S.A.I.D.D. (setting, action, internal story, description, and dialogue) are employed. • Elements of S.A.I.D.D. are balanced. • Ideas flow easily from one to the next. • Clear evidence of substantial elaboration based on Draft 1 S.A.I.D.D. color-coding is apparent. • Draft 3 (20 Points) – Grammar, Mechanics and Formatting: • Sentences are well structured and varied. • There are few if any spelling or grammatical errors. • Punctuation and capitalization are used correctly. • Typing format protocols are used (ie, indent for a new speaker, two spaces after the end of a sentence or a question, etc.). • MLA formatting is observed: 12 point font, double-spaced, proper heading, 1 inch margins, black font, Arial or Times New Roman
Steps for Writing a Short Story or Personal Narrative • Idea Generation • Try – Ons • Character Development • Moment of Change • Plot Diagram/Story Mountain/Story Mapping • Hero’s Journey (short story only) • S.A.I.D.D. • Setting • Action • Internal Story • Description • Dialogue • Literary Devices • Editing • Publishing
Characteristics of a Personal Narrative • Small moment • Something that changed you Characteristics of a Small Moment
Generating Ideas for a Personal Narrative • Look through your writing territories. • Select 3 or 4 topics that interest you. • You are looking for something that you can write about that CHANGED you. • You are looking for a moment when you: • Learned something • Grew emotionally • Changed emotionally • Realized something • In Your Writing Journal: Once you have your broad ideas, start brainstorming ideas about small moments you might spin from them. Examples: • My summer vacation • The time I passed my sailing test • The time I made my first friend at camp • The time my dad showed me the big microscope in his lab • My dog • The time my dog ran away • The first time we saw him at the animal shelter • The time we found the little Maltese in the street and brought it home and Champ let her boss him around. • The soccer game • The fight I had with my teammate and how we made up and started working together • The time I made a big comeback
Try-Ons A try-on is when you write a little bit about something, just to “try it on” and see if it’s something you feel you can write more about. Try-ons should be about a page long in your journal. You can write: • A short scene • A personal memory • A free write – everything that’s running around your head spills out on paper • An opinion • A letter • Writing about writing – If I were going to really write about this, I’d want to include/think about/remember… In your writing journal: Try on 1-2 paragraphs for a couple of your different ideas, just to see what you think would work.
Moment of Change When you are thinking about writing a story, it’s important to start from the moment of change. Ask yourself the following questions. • What will the character learn or realize? • What will the character be like before the change? • What will the character be like after the change? In your journal: use the “Try-On” strategy to jot down several ideas about moments of change. Don’t get attached to the first idea, just jot down as many as you can think of. Read through your list several times and make your selection.
Mapping Your Narrative A narrative is built around the idea of a small moment of change. There are four parts to this narrative. Someone wants something – usually the narrator. A problem or conflict occurs. The conflict triggers a realization in the narrator. Something happens at the end that shows rather than tells that the narrator’s outlook has shifted or changed. In your writing journal: take a look at the story ideas you brainstormed and map out any of the ideas that interest you using the outline above.
Personal Narrative Characters – Showing vs. Telling • Use these strategies to show rather than tell things about the characters in your narrative: • Have the character be thinking about something that let’s us know who he/she is as a person. • Example: I realized I still wanted to be a little girl. (tell) • I had grown taller, but inside I was still the little girl who played with Barbies, and the one who was still afraid of lightning. I was the little girl who needed Mom right by my side. (Show) • Have the character do something that shows us who he/she is as a person. • Example: Jen can be a bit bossy sometimes. (tell) • “Come on my bed,” Jen said, patting the bed next to her. • “Now stay still.” • She took out a suitcase from under her bed and put it beside • us. She opened it and told me to close my eyes. . (Show) • Have the character do something that he/she did in an earlier part of the story only with a different attitude. • Example: I realized that I really do love Sam. (tell) • I took his hand. It was warm and sticky like gum. I like gum. (Show) • Have the character use dialogue. • Example: I can be pretty clever and original when I need to be. (Tell) • “It takes twenty minutes for your hair to come out of that knot.” I said. (Show)
Show vs. Tel Example Champ’s nose was pressed against the glass of the car’s backseat window. I could see that he was shaking with excitement and his tail was wagging so fast it was almost a blur. The young man grinned at us. “That’s one smart pooch you’ve got there. He actually told me where he lived.” I looked at the man in confusion. “He what?” The man said, “I just put him in the back and started driving around. As we approached this house he got more and more excited; whining and wagging his tail. That’s how I knew where to stop.” I looked at Champ through that window, and was suddenly bowled over by the realization that he had snuck up on my heart. Until that moment I thought I had kept him at a distance. He was the kids’ dog, not mine. I made sure he was fed and taken care of, but that was the extent of my responsibility. Now I knew though, that every time he had curled up by my feet as I worked, or rested his head on my knee as I absently rubbed behind his ears, he had been claiming a tiny little piece of my love. I felt tears start behind my eyes as I watched his black nose making a big smeary mess on the glass and I said it to myself for the first time. That dog, that one right there, is mine.
Showing a Character vs. Telling a Character • There are many ways to show who a character is as a person without having to tell the reader directly. You can show a character through: • His/her actions • His/her dialogue • His/her body language/Facial Expressions • His/her internal story In your writing journal: Set up a chart for each character like this: Character: Jen Character: Narrator
S.A.I.D.D. The elements of S.A.I.D.D. Help to insure that a story is completely developed. • Setting • Actions • Internal Story • Description • Dialogue
Setting • When you think about writing a setting for your story, consider the following: • Indoors vs. Outdoors • Time of Day • Time of Year • Weather • Background Noises • Background Activities • Atmosphere/Mood Verbs
Internal Story • It’s important to get to know your character on the inside – One of the first things to determine is what kind of secret(s) the character might have. • What is the character’s secret or fear? • Who else knows (including the reader?) • If it is a secret, why is it a secret? • Embarrassment • Safety • Unwillingness to Share • How will the secret be revealed or the fear overcome? • In your writing journal: Answer the following questions to help you get a better idea of who the character is as a person. • What does this character do when he/she gets angry? • What are the special gifts of this character? • What are the character’s best and worst memories from their very young childhood? • How does this character express caring? Does he/she have difficulty communicating or is it easy? • What interesting habits have you given this character?
Description • There are several different ways that you can be descriptive: • Imagery • Facial Features, especially eyes and mouths • Sensory descriptions • Mood words • Metaphor • Describe the qualities of the object • Push your thinking! • How is the object like…? • Make comparisons based on the quality of the object • Example: He turned a beaming smile on her with all the intensity of a compassionate fire hose. • Personification • Use action verbs to describe objects • Find ways to use objects to communicate emotions • Example: Josh watched as two puffy clouds chased each other over the tops of the trees. • Hyperbole • Use exaggeration to emphasize ideas • Example: When Claire saw how happy the little boy was with the gift she had made for him, she felt like she was 10 feet tall.
Imagery • It’s important to keep a list of great words you can use for description: • Facial Features – Descriptive Verbs: • Eyes – wide, deep, clear, soft, stormy, piercing, small, mean, sharp, hard, • Mouth – wide, full, generous, pouty, expressive, thin, pursed • Face – hard, set, closed, strong, weak, open, welcoming • Sensory • Sight • Colors • Sizes • Shapes • Smell • Feel • Sound • Taste – Use only in certain situations • Mood Words
What to Remember About Using Dialogue There are several important things to remember about using dialogue in your story. • Intersperse your dialogue with the other elements of S.A.I.D.D.. • Don’t extend the dialogue for too long. • Be sure to indicate who is speaking – Jim said, asked Sally, Sharon wondered, etc. • Use proper formatting and style. • No spaces between quotation marks and first word of the sentence or between the quotation marks and last punctuation of the sentence • Use a comma instead of a period if you are going to indicate who is speaking. • New speaker = new paragraph (hit ‘Enter’ and indent) – If the same speaker continues, stay in the paragraph. Before: “Please show me what is in that box,” said George. “I can’t,” answered Lewis. After: “Please show me what is in that box,” said George. His face was growing red and he crossed his arms, glaring at Lewis. Lewis shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, staring at the ground. He stuffed his shaking hands into his pockets and stepped closer to the large, red box, trying to block it from George’s view. Then he took a deep breath and looked George in the eye. “I can’t,” he answered
S.A.I.D.D. “I have to talk to you,” I said. “What’s the matter?” asked Alice. “I don’t know how to say this,” I began. “What? What is it?” she asked again. “I think Ronnie was cheating off you during the math test.” said. “I have to talk to you,” I whispered to Alice, taking her by the arm and steering her toward a cornerin the crowded hallway where I thought we could speak more privately. “What’s the matter?” asked Alice. Her eyebrows were drawn together in concernand she was staring at me intently. Seeing her worried expression, I felt a stab of guilt. Was I doing the right thing? What I had to tell Alice would no doubt upset her terribly. It might even cause her to turn her anger on me. After all, Ronnie was her best friend. Did I really want to risk my friendship with her over this? I looked at her trusting faceand suddenly found that the words were caught in my throat. “I don’t know how to say this,” I began. “What? What is it?” she demanded, clutching at my arm. The brightly lit hallway was beginning to empty out as jostling students hurried past on their way to class. I hesitated. The news about Ronnie would wound her to the core, and there was always the chance that Alice would refuse to believe it. On the other hand, what Ronnie had done was wrong and Alice deserved to know. I took a deep breath and plunged. “I think Ronnie was cheating off you during the math test.” I told her.
Action: Using Body Language to Show not Tell Describing a character’s body language is a great way to SHOW a reader something about that character’s internal story. You can describe: • Hands/Fingers - waving, clasped, wringing, clenched, fluttering, fists, palms up, on hips, to face • Arms – open, folded, raised, hanging • Legs/Feet – shifting, running, stamping, trudging, jumping, fidgeting, tapping • Shoulders – hunched, straight, strong, shrugging, • Head - Tilted, hung, Straight, drooping, • Facial Features – Show Expression • Face – open, closed, mean, grizzled, wrinkled, smooth, generous, stone, granite, flawless, mysterious • Eyebrows – Raised, furrowed, arched, knitted together • Mouth – opened (surprise, anger), clamped shut (stubborness, anger), pouting, smiling, grinning, smirking, • Eyes – staring, peeking, gazing, blinking, batting lashes, lids lowered, eyes wide (surprise, shock), tears gushing, tears held back, tears brimming
Action: Using Powerful Verbs, Adjectives, and the Occasional Adverb Not So Good: Champ had his nose against the car window. He was excited and was wagging his tail really fast. Better: Champ’s nose was pushed against the glass of the car window window. I could see that he was shaking with excitement and his tail was waving so fast it was almost a blur. Even Better: Champ’s nose was pressed against the glass of the car’s backseat window. I could see that he was quivering with excitement and his tail was waving so fast and hard it was almost a blur.
Editing Basics Verbs: Agreement – Subjects and verbs. Tense – Check each verb – are they all in the same tense? Variety – Are you using the same verbs over and over again? Person – Does it switch anywhere from you to I, from I to they, from you to they or he/she? Have you taken “I” out of it, as in “I think”… Word Variety – Are you using the same word over and over again? Sentence Structure – Are your sentences varied and not all the same? Spelling – Check for words the spell checker won’t pick up and incorrect duplicates ie. Aloud/Allowed Capitalization – Beginning of sentences, and proper nouns Sentences – Check for run-ons and fragments. • Strategy: • Read your piece backwards. This will help you find spelling and technical errors. • Read it aloud to a partner – have the partner read it aloud to you.
