What’s a Mexican family like?

1. What’s a Mexican family like?

2. As you know, I'm not Mexican so I'm going to try to do my best to describe how a Mexican family might be • To explain the definition of a Mexican family, we should start by explaining the difference between a western family and a Mexican one. Basically, in the western countries, family completely lost its meaning, it’s not something as important as it used to be. While in Mexico, family is the essence of Mexican life, families are building blocks of the Mexican society, even with modernization, they’ve stayed together and close. It’s not as usual as it used to be but it’s not uncommon to meet 3 generations living in the same household. Another big difference with western countries is that in Mexico, family are usually with 4 or 5 children.

3. Let’s start by a bit of history • The pre-Hispanic families in Mexico were Aztec. Aztec families were typically monogamous • Marriage for the Aztecs was regarded as a family affair • Normally, a pair of older women would negotiate between the families. The tradition called then for a meeting of the girl's family to assess the proposal and obtain permission of all the family members • Once the marriage done, they would dance and sing to express the happiness of the moment, after that, the couple would spend four days of prayer in the nuptial room • On the fifth day they would take a bath together in a traditional bathroom, and a priest would shower them with holy water. A man would follow this ritual only with his first wife, although he could take other wives • Tradition also stressed that a woman should always worry about her appearance and that the male should be the undisputed head of the family

4. Coat of Arms of New Spain • The father had the divine right and obligation to guide his children toward Catholicism. The mother helped him by inculcating the values of love, honesty and loyalty to the family. • Character of the Hispanic-indigenous family (Ramos 1951): ‘The contemporary Mexican family represents a mix of indigenous, pre-Hispanic ways of life and Spanish expectations and norms. Values that Mexicans ascribe to the family include unity, love, well-being, and tenderness.’ • During the same period, Aztecs of high caste used polygamy. However, after the conquest, the Spanish imposed monogamy. And by the middle of the eighteenth century, 1/4thof the population was ‘mestizo’ (one parent was Spanish, the other one was indigenous) • Spanish tradition : extended family, so New Spain (México at that time) followed this model. Basically, uncles, sisters, cousins, grand-parents… were ‘equals’ to parents or every member of the family on both side • At that time, the Catholic church governed family life, individuals were allowed to choose their spouses, but couple had to live together till death. The principal objective for a couple was to have children and care for them both morally and economically

5. The contemporary family Marriage • We have to note that the marriage has an importance place in Mexican life. Indeed, marriage is so popular that when Mexicans are fifty, more than 95 percent of them have been married at least once. • Early 21th century: average age for getting married was 23 for women and 26 for men. • Depending on the traditions your family follows, you don’t leave the house before getting married • Moreover, today Mexicans are getting married older. The legal or free unions are taking more importance than the religious ones.

6. Women / Men • Until the 80’s, men expect the women to be feminine, hard workers and honest; nowadays women are expected to be faithful, understanding, responsible and intelligent. • According to the good old golden rules, the man is the protector of his wife and family, his domain is his workplace, whereas women are expecting to look after the kids, basically, home is her domain.

7. Religion andtraditions • Mexican people are quite religious (not all of them), the amazing amount of religious events is an occasion for the family to be together. Here are some very important dates for the Mexican: • 12th December: Nuestra senora de Guadalupe; • 24th and 25th: Christian traditions • 16th September: independence day • La batalla de Puebla • 10th May: Mother’s Day • La noche de los Reyes Magos… • Mexican are caution about keeping ties even with extended members of the family. Mexican family reunions are occasions for all the different generations to be together to build up on family ties

8. Stereotypes about Mexican families Stereotypes Reality Moral and psychological strength of women withstands the power of the men Women end up with authority and control when it’s about families matters It is more strongly held in the rural areas, towns, and small cities Plus, there is a large disparity between religious fervor and the practice of religious values in everyday life. Many do not practice the religion they profess These myths can be true in some few very old-fashion families but for most of Mexican families they are just not true. • Extreme machismo and a submissive and powerless woman • Giving a religion a sacred and ideal tone • Moreover, some myths seem to appear such as: • Families in the past were more stable and harmonious. • The only place to satisfy the vital needs of love and protection is the family. • Virginity should be kept until marriage. • Men always say the last word.

9. I’d conclude on the fact that as a foreigner I’m amazingly surprised about the kindness of mexican families. They really have the spirit of hospitality. For most of them, they know exactly how to live in love, respect and dignity. ¡¡¡ Viva México!!!