Building Relationships: The Language of Mentoring

Building Relationships: The Language of Mentoring Nicola Englyst John Perry January 2013

Programme • Welcome • What is mentoring and what makes a good mentor/mentee? • The GROW model • Lunch (approx. 12.30) • Practical mentoring (restart at approx. 1) • The benefits of mentoring • Grant bodies and mentoring

What’s in a name? • Mentor • Pastor • Pastoral tutor • Personal tutor • Life coach • Mentee Skills discussed today are relevant to all!

What is mentoring or a mentor today? Mentoring is more than ‘giving advice’- its about motivating and empowering the other person to identify and resolve their own issues and goals. • Off-line help by one person to another in making significant transitions in knowledge, work or thinking A system of semi-structured guidance whereby one person shares their knowledge, skills and experience to assist others to progress their own lives and careers • Concise Oxford Dictionary: an experienced person in an institution who trains and counsels new employees or students An informal and supportive relationship whereby a more experienced member of staff undertakes to help a new member of staff to learn his/her job and understand its context within the University. Trusted advisor, friend, teacher, wise person All mentoring relationships are different!

What makes a good mentor?

Mentor checklist: • Are you interested in helping others succeed? Even bypass you? • Are you reliable, honest, trustworthy, confidential? • Are you capable of activelistening? • Are you empathetic? • Are you able to question someone sensitively whilst empowering them to explore their own issues? • Can you pass on your knowledge and expertise, encouraging and helping

What makes a good mentee?

A good mentee… • Is honest • Seizes the initiative • Thinks about the questions they want to ask • Is open to receiving advice • Understands that the mentor can help them reach a solution but won’t dictate a solution to them- this might involve work by the mentee! • Is prepared to act on any plans they make • Comes on time!

Mentoring in Faculty of Medicine • 4 types available: • Long term mentoring • One stop mentoring • Mentoring workshops • Peer mentoring • Mentoring database

Choosing a mentor • Database on https://www.som.soton.ac.uk/learn/postdoc/mentoring/ • Looking and asking around • Introductory mentor scheme for postdoctoral researchers

Getting started…. • Contact your mentor…by email, phone, face to face • Don’t be put off if they say no- ask someone else! • Arrange a good time and place to meet • Sometimes, awkward beginnings • Ideas for Successful Mentoring sheet on PDA site • Practical exercises….GROW model

Bits ‘n’ bobs • Confidentiality. • You may need to enlist specialist help. • Keeping records (may be needed for grant bodies) e.g. what was discussed, agreed and objectives for next meeting. • Long term mentoring relationships have a beginning, middle and often an end. • You can have more than one mentor. • You can be a mentor and a mentee! • Tell us about your mentoring experiences.

John Perry • Principal Teaching Fellow in Healthcare Communication in the School of Medicine. • His background and qualifications are in the areas of counselling, coaching and psychotherapy and he has a particular interest in stress and stress management. • GROW model

Towards Solutions! The GROW Model Grepresents your GOALS – What do you want to achieve? Rrepresents your REALITY – What is happening right now? Orepresents your OPTIONS – What could you do? Wrepresents your WILL – What WILL you do?

Wheel 1: Your life as it is now Career Health & Wellbeing Fun & recreation Security Home & Family Learning / personal development Choose a category Friendship / Personal relationships www.cfel-uk.net

Wheel 2: Your life as you would like it to be Career Health & Wellbeing Fun & recreation Security Home & Family Learning / personal development Choose a category Friendship / Personal relationships

Wheel Of Life: Example Career Health & Wellbeing Fun & recreation Security Home & Family Learning / personal development Choose a category Friendship / Personal relationships www.cfel-uk.net

Lunch time • Good chance to network! • Good chance to suss out a mentor! • Good chance to eat food! • At 1.00, we’ll reconvene to put what you’ve learned today into practice…. MENTOR DATABASE AVAILABLE FOR SEARCHING OVER LUNCH

Now it’s your turn! • Get into pairs (generally works best with people you don’t know well!) • 3 common scenarios- choose the one you like best! • Common threads • Take 5 mins to read through and think about the challenges noted in each scenario, then another 15 mins to role play • You can start another scenario if time allows.

What was a barrier to communication What was good?

Mentoring and funding bodies • Funding bodies like mentoring schemes! • Wellcome Trust: What kind of support for fellows do you expect from the host institution? • The host institution will be expected to provide you with appropriate facilities, infrastructure and space for the work to be undertaken as well as support and mentoring where appropriate. • Wellcome Trust Senior Investigators Awards: have a strong training record supporting the development and mentoring of less experienced researchers.

MRC • In the MRC application form for fellowships the proposed Head(s) of Department of the applicant is required to: • commit to putting in place arrangements for the Fellow’s mentoring in the event of an award being made, and • provide brief details of what these arrangements are likely to be (including what arrangements may already be in place in the Research Organisation). • Information on the effectiveness of mentoring arrangements must be included in the final report on the Fellowship.

Mentees: What’s in it for you? • Encourage and empower personal development. • Help to achieve career goals • Help identify and correct gaps in generic skills and knowledge. • Increases confidence. • Develops and maintains a broader perspective on career options and opportunities • Access to a senior role model/ networking. • Insight into University culture. • Funding bodies are increasingly placing value on active mentoring schemes.

Mentors: What’s in it for you? • Recognised involvement in a programme of strategic importance. • New perspectives and insight into The Faculty. • Potential for networking. • Additional experience in staff management and development. • Transferable skills development. • Opportunity for self reflection, and personal satisfaction. Opportunity to give something back. • Funding bodies increasingly value an active mentoring programme.

What’s in it for the Faculty? • Improving academic performance through staff development. • Improving communication between individuals/groups/units. • Reinforcing The Faculty’s commitment to learning and development. • Creating a breeding ground for fresh ideas and innovations. • Enhancing the Faculty’s reputation through improved career destinations of its research staff. • Being at the forefront on mentoring in the UK- great for grant applications.

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Building Relationships: The Language of Mentoring