Things done well…

1. S5 – Critical Essay - Good attempt at focusing on the task. - In general, there was some good reference to the text (quotes) Things which need to improve… Things done well… - Don’t waste words. Be concise and don’t repeat the same points. For example (from the same essay): “Clare would never go against her father’s word and does everything he tells her to” and “Clare would never do anything her father had told her not to, or go against his word”

2. S5 – Critical Essay - Choose relevant quotations that allow for detailed analysis For example: ““…ah don’t know how tae tell you, but yer daddy’s died.” This quote clearly shows that her father is dead” - Give a DETAILED ANALSIS using TECHNICAL VOCABULARY For example, in your paragraph about why we feel sympathy for Clare you could have mentioned… The fact that the story is set at Christmas, a devastating time to lose someone close to you because it is a period of the year associated with family. The word choice and language isused to show the impact Clare’s father’s death has on her. “The coldness shot through me till ah felt ma bones shiverin and ah heard a voice..” – “coldness” suggests the loss Clare feels – she has lost the warmth of her relationship with her father. Her “shiverin” emphasises her distress and the fact that she hears her own voice suggests that her father’s death has caused such shock that becomes disassociated from her own body. Clare come from a working class/ poverty stricken background. This is suggested by Donovan’s descriptions of the setting. The “stain” suggests Clare’s bleak surroundings and is also symbolic of Clare’s father’s illness. Donovan reminds us throughout the story of Clare’s father’ illness through her word choice and symbolism. Clare’s father is described as being like a “ghost” while playing games with her, foreshadowing his future illness. His hands are described as… These reminders strengthen our feeling of sympathy…

3. S5 – Critical Essay - Expression and spelling Keep things simple – don’t try to say too much in one sentence. Use the present tense. Clare’s covers herself in glitter./ Clare shows great determination… etc. Don’t say “This quote…” Use “we” or “us” or “the reader” rather than “you” Put quotes in context by explaining what is happening in the story/ what the quotation is in reference to. Spelling should be consistent and make sure you know more challenging words that you think you might need.

4. Practice explaining word choice and imagery by using the writing frames below: 1. “…ah saw this dull drab figure, skin aw peely-wally.” • The word ‘drab’ has connotations of… …and contrasts with the warm red colour that Clare wants to wear. The word ‘peely-wally’ has connotations of… These words are effective because they show how Clare feels (explain how she feels wearing the dull clothes)… 2. “It was like the difference between a Christmas tree skinklinwi fairy lights and wan lyindeid an daurk in a corner.” The word ‘skinklin’ has connotations of…. This suggests Clare’s personality is… • “The tears kept comin and comin till ah felt ah wis squeezed dry and would never be able to shed anither tear.” The metaphor…compares…to…(say what two things are being compared) It is effective because… 4. “The strands of hair stood ootroon ma heid like a halo, glisterin and dancin in the light.” 5. “Ah covered the dull cloth so it wisbleezinwi light, patterns scattered across it, even pit some on ma tights and ma shoes.” 6. “…the glitter jist brought everythin tae life, gleamin and glisterinagin the flat cardboard.” 7. “The imprint of ma finger left sparkly wee trails a light.” 8. “Ah pressed ma fingers aw ower the bedclothes so they gleamed in the light fae the streetlamps outside, then ah fell intae a deep glistery sleep.” 9. “The only bit of me that had any life aboot it wis ma eyes fur the tears had washed them clean and clear.”

5. Choose a short story in which deals with the theme of rejection or disappointment or loss. Say what happens and go on to explain how the writer deals with the theme effectively.