Building self esteem

1. Building self esteem 10 ways to untwist your thinking

2. What is self esteem • Cognitive behaviour therapy • Cognition – a thought

3. Your thoughts and your feelings

4. Emotion thoughts • Sadness loss • Guilt hurt someone • Anger treating unfairly • Frustration falls short of expectations • Anxiety, worry in danger • Inferiority comparing with others

5. Loneliness attention • Hopelessness things will not improve

6. How to change the way you feel The four steps of happiness

7. Identify the upsetting event • Record your negative feelings • The triple column techniques • outcome

8. Describe the upsetting event

9. Record your negative feeling and rate them from 0 to 100 • Emotion and rating

10. The triple column technique • Automatic thoughts • Distortions • Rational responses

11. Outcome – re-rate your belief in each automatic thought from 0-100 and put a check in the box that describes how you feel • Not at all better • Somewhat better • Quite a bit better • A lot better

12. If you still feel upset • Have I correctly identified the upsetting event? • Do I want to change my negative feelings about this situation? • Have I identified my automatic thoughts properly? • Are my rational responses convincing, valid statement that put the lie to my automatic thoughts?

13. Ten ways • Dr. Albert Ellis – ABC OF Emotions A – Actual event = divorce B- belief = I AM NO GOOD C- consequences = depression

14. Ten forms of twisted thinking

15. All or nothing thinking • Over generalisation • Mental filter • Discounting the positive • Jumping to conclusion • Magnification

16. Emotional reasoning • Should statements • Labeling • Personalisation and blame

17. Ten ways untwisting your thinking

18. Identify the distortion : write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you are involved in. this will help make it easy to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.

19. Examine the evidence: instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it, for example, if you feel hat you never do anything right, yu could list several things you have done successfully.

20. The double standard method: instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.

21. The experimental technique: do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For e.g. If during an episode of panic become terrified that you are about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.

22. Thinking in shades of gray: although this method might sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all or nothing extremes evaluate things on a range 0 to 100. when things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.

23. The survey method: ask people questions to find out of your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. for e.g. you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shame full , ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.

24. Define terms: when you label yourself inferior or a fool or loser define it

25. The semantic method: simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. Instead of telling yourself I should not have made that mistake, you say it would be better if I had not made that mistake.

26. Re-attribution: instead of automatically assuming that you are bad and blaming yourself entirely for a problem , think about many factors that may have contributed to it .focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself.

27. Cost benefit analysis: list the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling or a behavior pattern.

28. Thank You