Children’s Development in the Context of Their Parents’ Relationships

1. Children’s Development in the Context of Their Parents’ Relationships Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D. Associate Professor, Human Development and Family Studies, Extension Specialist, Alabama Cooperative Extension System Auburn University, Alabama Project Director and Principal Investigator Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initiative

2. What’s Love Got to Do With It?

3. Overview • Research Basis and Rationale • Programmatic Approaches • Core Program Content • Does it make a difference?

4. Extension doesn’t focus on adult relationships; we focus on… parenting, child well-being, positive youth development, nutrition and health, family well-being, community development…

5. Parent Well-being Couple functioning Parenting Practices Couple Functioning Child Outcomes Co-parenting Quality Parenting Father Involvement

6. Father Involvement PSA

7. What do kids know about marriage? • Marriage is when you go to church and a man whispers in your ear and it makes you cry, and then he gets to kiss you for what he said. • Lynette, age 8 • I don’t want to get married even though I’m already 9. You’re never alone and your wife follows you around all the time! • Craig, age 9

8. To get married you have to have a big wedding where all the people dress up in pink and black and they throw wild rice..then you have a big cake afterward that the bride is supposed to pop out of!- Trudi, age 7 • You’ve got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports – she should like it that you like sports – and she should keep the chips and dip coming! • Allan, age 10

9. Developmentally relevant – a “teachable moment” in the life course Relationship models acquired Emotional health affected Physical health affected Why Target Youth Relationships?

10. Parent Well-being Dating Relationships Couple functioning Parenting Practices Couple Functioning Adolescent Outcomes Co-parenting Quality Parenting Father Involvement

11. Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.  ~Kenyan Proverb

12. Clip of Mack – describing program

13. The “Healthy Couples, Healthy Children: Targeting Youth” Project 2005-2010 Jennifer Kerpelman, Ph.D., Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D., & Joe Pittman, Ph.D. Department of Human Development and Family Studies Auburn University Alabama Cooperative Extension System

14. Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initative DHHS/OFA 2006-2011

15. Teen Advisory Board info Video

21. Research-Practice Partnerships: The Alabama Approach Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D. Human Development and Family Studies Auburn University

22. Establishment and enhancement of on-line Resource Centers: • www.alabamamarriage.org • www.stepfamilies.info • www.nermen.org

23. http://www.alabamamarriage.org

24. 1930’s Penn State Study on Marital Quality • # 1 predictor of husbands’ marital satisfaction: • Quality of Wife’s Cooking

26. www.nermen.org

27. Core Concepts Associated with Stable and Healthy Couple and Marital Relationships CHOOSE KNOW CARE FOR SELF Stable and HealthyCouple and Marital Relationships SHARE CARE MANAGE CONNECT

28. Video - 20/20 Special

29. CHOOSE Nothing happens by itself…it all will come your way once you understand that you make it come your way by your own exertions. - Ben Stein

30. KNOW • Strategies and skills for the development of interest and involvement in each other’s worlds

31. CARE Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. - James Barrie It is not true that nice guys finish last – nice guys are winners before the game ever starts. - Anonymous

32. SHARE • Skills and strategies for developing and maintaining friendship, positive interactions, and meaningful time together

33. CONNECT • Strategies and skills for engaging social support, community ties, and sources of meaning

34. MANAGE Strategies and skills for engagement and interaction around differences, stresses, and issues of safety

35. CARE FOR SELF • Maintaining physical, psychological, and sexual health and wellness as an individual Key info for work with low-resource population • Early environment key for development of emotion regulation skills • Low SES experience greater levels of stress from more sources • Less use of cognitive reappraisal strategies

38. MRE Plus for Blended families Additional skill-building for complex families Realistic expectations for stepfamily development and processes Couple Quality Healthy stepparent-stepchild relationships Appropriate and supportive co-parenting Relationships

39. Relationship Smarts + • Lesson 1: Who am I and Where am I Going? • Lesson 2: What I Value • Lesson 3: Maturity Issues and Pressure Situations • Lesson 4: Infatuation and Love • Lesson 5: Principles Of Smart Relationships • Lesson 6: The Low-risk Approach to Relationships • Lesson 7: Is it a Healthy Relationship? • Lesson 8: Dating Abuse • Lesson 9: A Foundation for Good Communication • Lesson 10: Parents’ Relationships Matter • Lesson 11: Having a Healthy Relationship/Marriage Someday • Lesson 12: Follow Your North Star

40. Can you really teach relationship skills? You’re either good at it or you’re not. Is there evidence of positive impact?

41. Youth Results – • Self-Esteem • Marital Role Salience • Conflict Management Skills • Interpersonal Competence • Willingness to use marriage education • Positive attitude about marriage • Ability to resist pressure to have sex • Individual Empowerment • Endorsement of partner violence • Personal Distress • Use of Negative Behaviors • Faulty beliefs about relationships • Reactive Coping INCREASES DECREASES

42. In their own words (youth)…. • "I liked that you learn to find positive strengths about yourself. You become more aware of who you are and what you want to do later in your life." • "I liked talking about breaking up and dating abuse, because I thought dating abuse was only physical” • " I really liked that the lessons gave you reasons why you should wait for sex rather than just telling you that you shouldn't do it."

43. "The dating abuse lesson was very important to me, because it helped me to recognize that I was in an abusive relationship. Now I know what to look for.“ • "I thought I knew everything, but as it turns out, I've learned a lot about relationships and love. • “I used some of the communication skills we learned—being aware of voice tone, prevented arguments” • “I stopped changing for others”

44. Evaluation Results Statistically significant changes were found in: • Relational Skills • Negative Interactions** • Positive Interactions*** • Conflict Management*** • Assertiveness* • Couple/Marital Quality • Relationship Quality*** • Relationship Adjustment*** • Trust*** • Perception of stability***

45. Evaluation Results • Positive feelings about partner* • Relationship Satisfaction*** • Happiness in Relationship*** • Individual Strengths • Individual Empowerment** • Individual Distress*** • Parenting • Co-Parenting Quality*** • Positive Parenting Behaviors** • Punitive Parenting** • Parenting Efficacy**

46. More changes • Early indication of enhanced prosocial behaviors among pre-school children • Comparison subjects did not demonstrate a similar pattern of change across time • Effect sizes ranged from .26 to .77 • Impact did not differ by attendance status (i.e., came together/came singly) or marital status • Benefits not based on gender or ethnicity

47. Summary • Couple/Dating Relationship knowledge, skills, and quality are key areas of individual and family functioning – an important “ingredient” in family and youth programs; critical element for families under stress. • Goals/objectives focus on the process and not on prescribing decisions. • Programs serve the broad spectrum of the population – youth, singles, nonmarried, married. • There is an empirical base from which to teach. • Evidence of positive program impact. • Relationship/marriage ed gives added value to other family and youth programs and services.

48. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker. • - Helen Keller