1 / 27

S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES

S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES. WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor. 4 Part Series. WEEK 1 - Seaworthy Relationships WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor WEEK 3 - Harbor Alarms WEEK 4 - Dockworkers. Session Two: Why the Harbor?. F our E lements of Healthy R elationship. Protection (Safe Harbor) Predictability (Base)

lani
Download Presentation

S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. SAFE HARBORMARRIAGES WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor

  2. 4 Part Series WEEK 1 - Seaworthy Relationships WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor WEEK 3 - Harbor Alarms WEEK 4 - Dockworkers

  3. Session Two: Why the Harbor?

  4. FourElements of Healthy Relationship • Protection (Safe Harbor) • Predictability (Base) • Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility) • Panic Button (Alarm System)

  5. Against Silting: Storms: Threats from WITHIN Threats from WITHOUT 1: Protection (Safe Harbor)

  6. A. Silting: Threat from within (erosion) Brisbane Water Channel, Australia 1: Protection (Safe Harbor)

  7. Search me, O God, and know my heart! and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24 Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,

  8. B. Storms: Threats from WITHOUT Hurricane Katrina 1: Protection (Safe Harbor)

  9. Hurricane Katrina

  10. Hurricane Katrina Tree roots provide an entry point for rising water, as illustrated in this drawing. (Illustration by Zina Deretsky/National Science Foundation)

  11. Troughs and Barriers • Levees—CONTROLS that protect the harbor • What gives your life control against floods? • What preserves the strength of your internal levee?

  12. 2. Predictability (Secure Base) Predictability is like a permanent address Security is a function of consistency “Trust = Truth over time” ANXIETY harms

  13. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

  14. Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,for You are WITH me;Your rod and Your staff,they comfort me.

  15. 3. Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility) Proximityis your DOCK • Closeness: Tether of touch

  16. hug “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!” Song 2:6

  17. 3. Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility) Proximityis your DOCK • Closeness: Tether of touch • Accessibility: Tether of time

  18. Converse

  19. James 1:19-20 Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. (The Message)

  20. Romans 12:9 “Love without hypocrisy”

  21. 4. HEALTHY ALARMSystem Am I SAFE? Am I HEARD? Am I UNDERSTOOD? 4. Panic Button (Alarm System)

  22. “Speak the truth in love.” Ephesians 4:15 4. Panic Button (Alarm System)

  23. "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matt 18:15 4. Panic Button (Alarm System)

  24. Freight for Your Journey • Protection: How do you get your spouse’s back? • Predictability: What behaviors consistently build up your spouse? • Proximity: What steps ensure you are available & interested? • Panic: How are you sharing your alarms?

  25. Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?* • Do you confide more to your friend than to your partner about how your day went? • Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details about your marriage with your friend but not with your partner? • Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend? • Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard your conversation with your friend? • Would you feel comfortable if your partner saw a videotape of your meetings? • Are you aware of sexual tensions in this friendship? • Do you and your friend touch differently when you're alone than in front of others? • Are you in love with your friend?   

  26. Scoring Key: You get one point each for yes to questions 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, and one point each for no to 3, 4, 5. If you scored near 0, this is just a friendship.If you scored 3 or more, you may not be "just friends.“ If you scored 7-8, you are definitely involved in an emotional affair. *This quiz by Shirley P. Glass was first printed in USA Today (June 20, 1988) in an article by Karen Peterson, "When platonic relationships get too close for comfort," p. 6D.

More Related