Understanding & Dealing with the Difficult & Disruptive –

Understanding & Dealing with the Difficult & Disruptive – Counselor’s Only Conference March 5th, 2012 YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND… - Bob Dylan, 1961 Presenter Dr. Richard F. Palazzo 3/5/12

A LOOK AT CONDUCT DISORDERS UNDERSOCIALIZED AGGRESSIVE SOCIALIZED AGGRESSIVE UNDERSOCIALIZED NON-AGGRESSIVE SOCIALIZED NON-AGGRESSIVE

Do We Want to Understand Them? • 3 MAJOR RISK FACTORS • BORN WITH DIFFICULT TEMPERAMENT • PARENT W/ MARGINAL DISCIPLINE & NUTURING SKILLS • PARENTS UNDER EXCESSIVE STRESS

Little more detail for those not ready to take a nap • Difficult temperament due to biochemical anomalies • < epinephrine • ^serotonin • < monamineoxidase • ^dopamine-beta- hydroxylase

POOR or No Parenting Skills • INCONSISTENCY • SPARE THE ROD…. • WON’T STOP TIL YA HIT EM! • COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS

COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS ORHOW TO RAISE A NON-COMPLIANT CHILD IN 5 EASY STEPS • PARENT ASKS KID TO DO SOMETHING • CHILD REFUSES • RISING WITH EMOTIONS PARENT REPEATS REQUEST • CHILD RESPONDS WITH ABRASIVE DEFIANCE • PARENT WITHDRAWS REQUEST TO AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFRONTATION

STRESS – INSIDE & OUT • SINGLE PARENTS • NO ASSISTANCE • NO RELIEF • MARITIAL DISCORD • LOW MARITIAL SATISFACTION = NEG. PERCEPTION OF KIDS • DEPRESSION or MOOD DISORDER

OPPOSITIONAL RISK FACTORS • 1 OUT OF 3 = At-Risk • As At-Risk #’s > OD > • All 3 = Unavoidable

Why Have Conventional Approaches Failed??????? • PUNISHMENT= < Chance of response recurring • FLAWED ASSUMPTIONS • CONSIDERED CONSEQUENCES • WEIGHED CHANCES • DELIBERATLELY MISBEHAVED

HOWEVER… the OD CHILD’SNEGATIVE BEHAVIOR STEMS FROM: • An UNPREMEDITATED IMPULSE OR • AN OVERWHELMING EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

IGNORING THE BEHAVIOR • REMOVE THE REWARD AND THE RESPONSE WILL CEASE = EXTINCTION PROBLEM IS … MANY ARE NOT SEEKING ANYBODY’S ATTENTION

How about ‘REWARDS’ ??? • RESPONSES AT A LOW RATE WILL > WITH A REWARD • FIXED INTERVAL REINFORCEMENT USUALLY WORKS • FALLS APART AFTER COUPLE OF DAYS • OD kid quits trying • learns not to invest in any behavior plan teacher attempts

HOW COME ??? • I THOUGHT REWARDS WORKED WITH EVERYBODY? • WELL, BECAUSE… ?????

REWARD SYSTEMS ARE A CRUEL HOAX FOR SOME KIDS ! • lack that level of controls • DISENGAGE FROM THE TEACHER • SMELLS CONTROL • CONFIRMS FAILURE

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM • Power Struggles • Your “FAV” verbal defiance's • Some non-verbal active defiance's

Think about a challenging student • How do you typically react ? • So how is that working for you? • How would you like to start reacting to the kid or situation? • What is getting in the way?

WHAT DOES WORK? • Understand the 3 underlying motivations • LACK OF RESPECT • LACK OF BELONGING • LACK OF POWER or CONTROL

#1 ASSUMPTION ALL BEHAVIOR IS GOAL DIRECTED

BEHAVIOR= an attempt to meet a NEED • THEREFORE… IT HAS MEANING • IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF THE STUDENT • TEACH MORE APPROPRIATE WAYS We don't do this stuff well

THEY DO IT FOR A REASON • IT AIN’T RANDOM BEHAVIOR

And … so do we! • Every action … has a reaction • Even a non-reaction… is a reaction • Maintain in a low-stress level

Who are you?EDUCATORS CHECKLISTTRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE • Unless my students and the staff approve of me, it indicates I’m inadequate as an educator. • If I fail as a teacher, I fail in life. • A good teacher is respected by students and should never be challenged.

Educators Checklist cont. TRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE • I can’t stand to have my class ‘out of control’. • Because things are not going well now, it indicates things are going to get worse. • Some of these students are just bad kids and the only way they’ll change is to suffer.

RATIONAL or LIFE-ENHANCING BELIEFS • “It would be nice if my staff & students approved of me, but if they don’t, I can still do a good job.” • “My skill as a teacher and my value as a person are two different things.” • “Having the student’s respect is nice, but not an absolute necessity. It’s uncomfortable to be challenged, but it’s happened before and I’ve survived.”

More Rational Thinking…. • “It’s embarrassing and frustrating when my class gets out of control, but it’s not the end of the world.” • “Just because things are going well right now, doesn’t mean things will get worse. It’s more likely they’ll get better.” • “There’s no such thing as a rotten kid, only kids who ACT rottenly. A lot of kids misbehave but that doesn’t mean they should suffer.”

Attitudinal Therapy • Kid is being neutral to positive THEN… You be positive and engaging (Give encouraging feedback & instruction) • If Kid is being negative or worse… THEN You be neutral and business-like (follow-through w/ pre-determined consequences)

AVOID • Over reacting • Losing your temper • Being inconsistent • Creating “secondary gain” • Embarrassing the student

SEEK INSTEAD • An atmosphere of respect • Convey that you’re in CONTROL • Learning through consistency • Repetition of experience • Following a posted agenda

CHANGING YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE REFRAMING: THE ART OF FINDING THE POSITIVE IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE NEGATIVE---- DISCOVERING THE SILVER LINING AND BUILDING ON IT.

SEEING IN A NEW LIGHT • Loses temper = ___________ • Argumentative ____________ • Defiant ____________ • Non-compliant ____________ • Annoying ____________ • Blaming ____________ • Touchy ____________ • Resentful ____________

UNDERSTANDING CRISIS STUDENTS IN Crisis • ARE GROWING WHERE THEY ARE NOW • Must have confidence in your skills • Need security, support and tolerance • Need us to view problems as “helping cues” not disaster

Seven Behavioral Accommodations • Reinforcers and Consequences • Reinforcement Inventory • Personal Prescriptions • “Australia” – (grades K-12) • Journaling • The Turtle Technique – (grades K-5) • Strategic Seating –(The docile/hyper/hostile shuffle) • Enlist Support of Class

BASIC DEFUSING SKILLS • LOOK AT THIS PHOTO… • AND JUST CHILL

MORE DEFUSING SKILLS • P.E.P. • STANDS FOR: PRIVACY EYE-CONTACT PROXIMITY

NON-VERBAL or in-direct P.E.P.’s • INDEX CARDS & POST- IT NOTES • CORRECTIVE OR APPRECIATIVE STATEMENTS • COLOR CARDS FOR SIGNALS • Pre-arranged, Non-confrontive signals for leaving room-

The Questions to open the RELATIONSHIP BOX • Do you know exactly who revolves in their daily orbit? • Do you understand their chief concerns? • Are you aware of their secret likes and dislikes? • Does each one have a secret passion that he doesn’t share with anyone else?

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING • Understanding your students' world not only strengthens the teacher-pupil relationship • It can become the absolute difference between their success and failure

3 ways can you forge a better connection with your STUDENT instantly ... • 1.“Walk and Talk” with THIS student as many times as you can. • 2. Find ways to get THIS student to follow your directions quickly and quietly, the first time given. FOCUS ON THIS --- job# 1 • 3. Get closer to THIS student --- even if you are afraid to or don't feel like it.

How to contact me for In-services… • Full-day or ½ day • richard.palazzo@tulsatech.edu • Cell # 918-381-7626 I apologize this is the only photo I have on my desktop…And besides …both Newt & Romney refused to pose with me.

References Azrin, N. H., & Besalel, V.A. (1980). How to use over-correction. Lawrence, KS:& H Enterprise. Elliot, S.N., Racine, C. N., & Busse, R.T. (1995) Best practices in preschool social skills training Washington, DC: National Association of School Psychologists. Frick, P.J., Lahey, B.B. Loeber, R., and Stouthamer-Loeber, M. (1992). Familial risk factors to oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 60, 49-55. Glasser, W. (1965) Reality Therapy, a new approach to psychiatry. New York: Harper & Row. Hall, R. V., & Hall, M.C. (1980) How to use planned ignoring. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed. White, J. L., Moffitt, T.E., Earls F., Robins, L., & Silva, P.(1990) How early can we tell? Predictors of childhood Behavior Disorders. Criminology, 28(4), 507-528.

Understanding & Dealing with the Difficult & Disruptive –