Possible Selves

1. Possible Selves Who I Am and Where I Am Going?

2. Goals • To increase each teen’s awareness of identity and possible selves. • To help each teen understand the importance of getting to know oneself and surrounding oneself with people who support and help bring out the best in him or her. • To identify steps that can be taken in the present to strengthen the person one is, and is becoming. • To empower each teen to be true to himself or herself.

3. How I See Myself

4. How I See Myself Right now, describe yourself as a: • Person (example: good student, friendly) • Family Member (example: caring son, peacekeeper) • Friend (example: fun to be with, loyal) • Dating Partner—if applicable (example: good listener, trustworthy)

5. How I See Myself Who you would like to become in the future as a: • Person (example: strong leader, successful in my job) • Family Member (example: good parent, breadwinner) • Friend (example: caring, supportive) • Dating/Marriage Partner—if applicable (example: able to make a commitment, giving)

6. How I See Myself What or who currently supports you in being the kind of person you are as a: • Person (example: my grandfather is teaching me how to fix cars) • Family Member (example: my older sister spends time with me) • Friend (example: I am a member of a basketball team) • Dating Partner—if applicable (example: I have a girlfriend/boyfriend who treats me well)

7. Leaves: Beside the leaves write the qualities of who you are as a person, friend, family member, and dating partner that you would like to retain as you get older. Also write qualities that you would like to develop as you get older (e.g., considerate person, good parent). Roots: Write qualities on the roots that support who you are now or will support you in what you wish to become. Bad Influences: Draw symbols (e.g., bugs, chainsaw, lightning) and write down words or brief descriptions (e.g., start drinking every weekend with friends) that might harm your Possible Selves Tree. Good Influences: Draw symbols (e.g., sun, rain drops, and earthworms) and write down words or brief descriptions that would strengthen your Possible Selves Tree. Possible Selves Tree

8. Reliable Fun Responsible Loyal Protective (of child) Dependable Energetic Kind Nurturing (of child) Trustworthy Thoughtful Punctual (on-time) Organized Funny/Comedian Creative Good with people Caring Good Parent Quiet & thoughtful Efficient (Gets things done) Polite Enthusiastic/Positive Words that Describe You- Now or Future • Inspires others • Role model to others • Independent • Professional • Optimistic (looks on the bright side, hopeful) • Courageous • Brave • Honorable/Respected • Takes Initiative (does what’s needed; no need to be told) • Laid back • Stays busy • Babysitter • Faithful • Athletic/Physically Fit • Understanding • Loving • Trouble-shooter (figures things out, solves issues) • Courteous • Outgoing • Caring • Spontaneous (gets up and goes, does on own • Motivated • Has Goals/Drive • Enthusiastic • Peacekeeper • Helpful • Follows instructions • Friendly • Confident • Ambitious • Innovative (comes up with • new ideas) • Hardworking • Problem-solver • Open-minded • Flexible (handles change, go with the flow)

9. Possible Selves Tree Example

10. Alternative Possible Selves Slides

11. How I See Myself

12. How I See Myself Right now, describe yourself as a: • Person (example: good athlete, friendly) • Family Member (example: babysitter, peacekeeper, loyal brother, loving parent to my baby) • Friend (example: fun to be with, trustworthy) • DatingPartner—if applicable (example: good listener, caring)

13. How I See Myself Look over the list of possible “Words That Describe You” • Think about your deep down qualities—maybe one’s that others don’t see or that you sometime hide about yourself. • Also, pick out words that you want to develop more fully in yourself.

14. How I See Myself Who you would like to become in the future as a: • Person (example: successful in my job, trained/college educated, dependable) • Family Member (example: good parent, good provider, good role model for my child) • Friend (example: caring, supportive) • Dating/Marriage Partner—if applicable (example: able to make a commitment, giving, stay faithful)

15. How I See Myself Who supports you or could support you in being the kind of person you are/want to develop: • Person (example: my grandfather is teaching me how to do plumbing, my teacher who believes in me & builds my confidence) • Family Member/Trusted Adult (example: my older sister spends time with me, my mentor who encourages me & gives me tips) • Friend (example: being a member of a basketball team) • Dating Partner—if applicable (example: I have a girlfriend/boyfriend who treats me well; my friend who encouraged me to end a destructive relationship)

16. Thinking about my Supports Try to identify a trusted adult in your life who supports you now or who could support you in being who you want to be. • Who can you go to for good advice? Who can calm you down? Who feeds you? Picks you up from school? Who in general makes you feel hopeful and gives you confidence or gives you good suggestions or advice? Who can you go to when in need? • Examples: my aunt, my coach, my mentor, my teacher, my school counselor, my youth leader, my grandfather, my foster mom, my pastor, or my older cousin who was in trouble but is now making changes.

17. Leaves: Beside the leaves write the positive qualities of who you are as a person, friend, family member, and dating partner that you would like to keep as you get older. Also write qualities that you would like to develop as you get older (e.g., considerate person, good parent, high school/college graduate). Roots: What/who supports you now or could support you in what you wish to become. Good Influences: Draw symbols (e.g., sun, rain drops, and earthworms) and write down words or brief descriptions that would strengthen your Possible Selves Tree. (go to school everyday, finish my GED, check in/talk to my mentor more often) Bad Influences: Draw symbols (e.g., bugs, chainsaw, lightning) and write down words or brief descriptions that might harm your Possible Selves Tree. (e.g., drinking every weekend with friends, cutting school) Possible Selves Tree

18. In a Pressure Situation • Push yourself to identify two, or even three, possible choices for a course of action. • Ask yourself what the likely consequences or risks for each choice might be.

19. Pressure Situation Example • A friend of yours is having a small pre-Homecoming party. Her parents are out of town. You get to the party a little late and everyone has been drinking. They are laughing and having fun. You’ve never had alcohol before, it looks fun, and secretly you think your friends think you’re a bit immature because you haven’t. What will you do?

20. Possible Choices: • Choice 1: Drink with your friends and then go to the Homecoming dance. • Choice 2: You say to your friends,“No thanks.”If they say anything, you say,“You do what you’ve got to do, and let me be.” • Choice 3: Make an excuse for why you have to leave the party.

21. For Choice 1 : Since you are all in a group and reek like alcohol, you are all pulled aside as you attempt to enter the dance. Police are called, you are given a breathalyzer test, you get a ticket to appear in court, you are suspended for two days from school, and eliminated from competing in sports this season and in fifty percent of next season. For Choice 2:You were afraid you’d be put down, but your friends say, “That’s cool.” A couple of kids got caught at the dance and you were happy you did what you did. For Choice 3:You avoided having to say anything. It’s worked for now. Pressure Situation- What happens; Risks

22. What Should I Do? Final Decision: Why?

23. Read and discuss the situation. Brainstorm 2 or 3 possible courses of action. Identify the likely results, risks, or consequences of each choice. Narrow things down to one course of action. This choice may include ideas from several choices generated during the brainstorming. Make it real! Pressure Situation Activity

24. Thinking About My Friends.... My Future

25. Write a pressure situation to be used by future classes. It should be realistic and could involve such things as: alcohol or drugs, parental rules, cutting class, cheating, bullying, loyalty situations, going beyond non-sexual touches in expressing affection, etc. Extra Credit