Lovely, lively lines: our language

1. Lovely, lively lines: our language By Michele Twiddy

2. Ewe Rhyme There once was a man whose name was Lou Whose favorite dish was lamb ragout He liked nothing better than a stew Thickened with a tasty roux On one side of him lived farmer Hugh Who had a lovely lamb or ewe He watched her grow up straight and true He loved that lambkin through and through On the other side lived farmer Stu Whose cows would ruminate and moo At milking time they’d form a queue And frolic in the mud or boue Lou licked his lips and muttered, “Ooh!” “Aha!” he thought, “I’ll score a coup. I need one thing each from those other two.” And he knew exactly what to do. He bade his loving wife adieu, Grabbed his son, Zbigniew, Claude and Mario Lemieux, The Shipping News by Annie Proulx, And paddled off in his old canoe. The boat was carved from seasoned yew He left in search of milk and ewe Now if he could just have taken you And UN Secretary U He would, with quite considerable hue, Have slowly hove back into view Bearing yew, ewe, you, and U. But he didn’t. Hirsch, R. (2002). FEG: Ridiculous poems for intelligent children. New York: Little, Brown and Company.

3. Not Quite Sitting Pretty I had some gas while in church class, but what else could I do? I said, “Alas, it’s an impasse,” and sat there in the pew. Katz, A. (2008). Not quite sitting pretty. In Oops! New York: Margaret K. McElderry Books. * impasse: a position or situation from which there is no escape; deadlock. From dictionary.com

4. Hints on Pronunciation for Foreigners • by T.S.W. I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble but not you, On hiccough, thorough, lough, and through? Well done! And now you wish, Perhaps, To learn of less familiar traps? Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird, And dead: it’s said like bed, not bead— For goodness sake don’t call it “deed”! Watch out for meat and great and threat. (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.) A moth is not a moth in mother Nor both in bother, broth in brother, And here is not a match for there Nor dear and fear for bear and pear, And then there’s dose and rose and lose— Just look them up—and goose and choose, And cork and work and card and ward, And font and front and word and sword, And do and go and thwart and cart— Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start! A dreadful language? Man alive! I’d mastered it when I was five! Bulkot, M. R. (Ed.). (2000). Hints on pronunciation for foreigners by T. S. W. In Elements of Literature: Third course. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.

5. English Is a Pain! (Pane?) • By ShirleeCurlee Bingham Rain, reign, rein, English is a pain. Although the words Sound just alike, The spelling’s not the same! Bee, be, B, I’d rather climb a tree, Than learn to spell The same old word, Not just one way, but three! Sight, site, cite, I try with all my might. No matter which I finally choose, It’s not the one that’s right! There, their, they’re, Enough to make you swear. Too many ways To write one sound, I just don’t think it’s fair! To, two, too, So what’s a kid to do? I think I’ll go To live on Mars, And leave this mess with ewe! (you?) Lansky, B. (Ed.). (2008). English is a pain (pane?) by ShirleeCurlee Bingham. In A bad case of the giggles: Kids pick the funnies poems, book #2. New York: Meadowbrook Press.

6. Right Here by Alice Schertle Right here on this clean white page I’ll scatter some words, watch them grow. I’ll plant a meadow. I’ll dig a pond right here. Dig down deep until the water and the words run clear. I’ll build me a barn. Lay the lines out straight and raise the roof! Write here. Schertle, A. (1999). Right here. In A lucky thing. New York: Scholastic Inc.