Marriage by the Book!

1. Is your marriage broken? Do you want to know how to fix it? Marriageby the Book!

2. God’s purposes forMarriage God created mankind in His own image… male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:27)

3. God’s purposes forMarriage The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

4. God’s purposes forMarriage God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply…” (Genesis 1:28)

5. God’s design forMarriage For this reason a man will leavehis father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:19-24)

6. Show Honor to Your WifeHere’s what Peter has to say In 1 Peter 3:7Husbands…..live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel…

7. Marriageby the Book! Five Threats to Marital Oneness

8. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • Approaching marriage from a ___________ _______________ • Attitudes • Assumptions • Expectations worldly perspective

9. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • Approaching marriage from a ___________ _______________ worldly perspective Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.(Romans 12:2)

10. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • Approaching marriage from a ___________ _______________ • Our culture is not conducive to or supportive of marriage • Sacrifice for marriage and family is scorned • Personal (fleshly) indulgence is glorified worldly perspective

11. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • Approaching marriage from a ___________ _______________ • The world’s pattern is a 50/50 performance-based contract • Love is given as a reward for performance • If one doesn’t perform, the other is free to void the contract worldly perspective

12. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • Approaching marriage from a ___________ _______________ • The result of approaching marriage from a worldly perspective is isolation. • Isolation will kill marriage. worldly perspective

13. Five Threats to Marital Oneness 2. Failing to anticipate and resolve______________ selfishness We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way...(Isaiah 53:6)

14. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 2. Failing to anticipate and resolve______________ • We are all self-centered • Our culture promotes and encourages selfishness selfishness

15. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 2. Failing to anticipate and resolve______________ • Our selfishness focuses on and is critical of our spouse’s weaknesses and failures to meet our expectations selfishness

16. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 2. Failing to anticipate and resolve______________ • Our selfishness seeks to justify our criticism and rejection of our spouse selfishness

17. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 2. Failing to anticipate and resolve______________ • The result of failing to deal with selfishness is isolation • Isolation will kill marriage. selfishness

18. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ • We will hurt one another in marriage forgive hurt

19. Five Threats to Marital Oneness 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ forgive hurt Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?

20. Five Threats to Marital Oneness 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ forgive hurt Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times…” (Matthew 18:21ff)

21. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ • Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is (1) a decision, which (when repeated) becomes (2) a process, which then becomes (3) a state forgive hurt

22. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ • Obedience to God resolves the hurt (proper action precedes proper emotion) forgive hurt

23. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 3. Failing to ___________ when we are _________ • The result of failing to forgive is isolation • Isolation will kill marriage. forgive hurt

24. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • Difficulties are inevitable • Difficulties do not mean something is wrong with our marriage • They mean we are human difficulties

25. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • God has purposes for difficulties in life difficulties

26. Five Threats to Marital Oneness 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ difficulties Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance… maturity… and wisdom. (James 1:2-5)

27. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • God has purposes for difficulties in life • “Life seems so hard because we expect it to be easy.” difficulties

28. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • Our response to difficulties determines whether they will drive us apart or bind us together difficulties

29. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • Our natural response to difficulties is usually unhealthy • Some of us try to suppress or escape the stress • Others blame or attack those they love difficulties

30. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 4. Failing to work through the inevitable _______________ • The result of failing to work through inevitable difficulties is isolation • Isolation will kill marriage. difficulties

31. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • An ‘affair’ is anything that leads us apart as husband and wife affairs

32. Five Threats to Marital Oneness 5. Extramarital ___________ affairs Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well… May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth... (Proverbs 5:15 & 18)

33. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • They are often an escape from reality and a search for fulfillment outside of marriage • They often result from unrealistic expectations affairs

34. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • We expect happiness without difficulties • We believe we ‘deserve’ to be happy • Reality does not live up to our fantasies affairs

35. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • Affairs can take many different forms • Activity affair (busy-ness) • Materialism affair (things valued over relationships) • Career affair (pursuing ‘success’) affairs

36. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • Affairs can take many different forms • Family affair (children valued over spouse) • Romantic / erotic affair affairs

37. Five Threats to Marital Oneness • 5. Extramarital ___________ • The result of an affair is isolation • Isolation will kill marriage. affairs

38. Marriageby the Book!

39. Marriageby the Book! Take it home! God’s design for marriage is marital oneness. There are many threats to that oneness, but with God’s help we can overcome those threats and enjoy a marriage that pleases Him -and blesses us.