How to be an Ugly American

1. How to bean Ugly American What not to do in intercultural encounters

2. The “ugly” American • Is loud, obnoxious, boorish • Is too casually dressed • Is ignorant of, or oblivious to, local customs • Is constantly in a hurry or on a schedule

3. Rule #1 • Talk Loud • Speak in a loud voice in a restaurant, a church, or museum. • Discuss sensitive issues at a high volume when using public transportation. • Use profanity too.

4. Rule #2 • Eat only at American food franchises • Don’t try local dishes or foods • If you do, ask for catsup, mustard, or mayonnaise • Always ask for ice in your drink • Mention (loudly) that the food might be contaminated or “dirty” • Whip out Purell, sanitary wipes or bottled water at every opportunity

5. Rule #3 • Dress like a slob • Wear flip flops, tank tops, and shorts to a monastery or mosque. • If you must dress up, wear an oversized sport jersey (U.S.A. teams only) and sneakers.

6. Rule #4 • Assume everyone speaks English • If people don’t understand you, talk louder and slower • Corollary: Assume no one speaks English

7. Rule #5 • Remain ignorant of, or oblivious to, local customs • Don’t learn anything about the local currency • Talk about how “cheap” everything is.

8. Rule #6 • Always be on Western time • Ignore the social rhythm of the culture you are in. • Hurry through everything you do. • Assume everyone else is on your schedule • For example, don’t expect restaurants to be closed in the afternoon. • Do expect restuarants to be open at 5 pm for dinner.

9. Rule #7 • Mention how much better everything is in America • “You call that a burger?” • “That’s not a toilet, that’s a hole in the ground.”

10. Rule #8 • Get drunk or high in public. • Then act out inappropriately

11. Rule #9 • Complain about everything • Ask why the streets are so dirty • Tell people not to smoke in bars and restaurants • Criticize menus for not offering low-fat, vegetarian, gluten free, organic foods.

12. Can you spot the American tourists in this picture?