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BFFs Navigating the Middle School Social Scene

In this article, Cathi Cohen LCSW, CGP, Director of In Step, discusses the challenges of navigating the middle school social scene. She explores the upsides and downsides of social interactions, the different social statuses that children may experience, and offers strategies for parents to support their children in developing strong social skills and resilience.

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BFFs Navigating the Middle School Social Scene

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  1. BFFsNavigating the Middle School Social Scene Cathi Cohen LCSW, CGP Director – In Step www.insteppc.com 703-876-8480 Email: instep_pc@yahoo.com

  2. Power Control Separation Individuation Hormones Middle Schooler Fitting In Self doubts Popularity Bullying

  3. What You See The Downside Self-absorption Girls fight; Boys withdraw Moodiness Push and pull Inside = Self-doubts Outside = Know it all

  4. What You Also See The Upside Empathy Perspective-taking Abstract thinking Independence Resilience

  5. What You Also See The Upside Empathy Perspective-taking Abstract thinking Independence Resilience

  6. The Middle School Social Jungle

  7. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

  8. Jockeying for Position

  9. Pops vs. Non-Pops

  10. Pro-Social Popular • Helpful • Affiliative • Comfortable with their social status • Academically engaged • Well-liked • Optimistic • Good social skills

  11. Populistic • Popular but NOT well-liked • Relationally aggressive • Academically disengaged • Influential • Arrogant • Bullies or henchman

  12. Socially rejected Rejected Aggressor/Victim Rejected Victim Low social status Sensitive and reactive Interpret social cues inaccurately • Low social status • Bully to defend • Reactive to perceived threats • Easily angered • Rule breaking

  13. Neglected • Shy • Anxious • Withdrawn • Insecure • Invisible • Remain on the periphery

  14. Floater • Moderate social status • Comfortable with self and others • Quality friendships • Move easily among different groups

  15. What’s a Parent To Do?

  16. You Influence More Than You Think

  17. Get Used to Entering Through the Side Door

  18. #1 Show By Example #2 Socialize Them #3 Encourage extra- curricular interests

  19. Keep in Mind…..

  20. If your teen is happy all the time, you are working too hard.

  21. Kids aren’t seeking your advice They are seeking your belief in them

  22. “ When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain

  23. Get Help When……

  24. Cathi Cohen LCSW Director In Step www.insteppc.com 703-876-8480 Facebook: Raise Your Child’s Social IQ

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