The East meets the West

1. Danish Family Education SystemJohannes D. SchmidtAssociate Professor, Aalborg University, Denmark and Senior Expert, Nordic Institute of Asian Studies, Copenhagen University. Email jds@dps.aau.dkDanish Family Education SystemJohannes D. SchmidtAssociate Professor, Aalborg University, Denmark and Senior Expert, Nordic Institute of Asian Studies, Copenhagen University. Email jds@dps.aau.dk • First draft paper and presentation for the conference: The Road and Belt Link to the World. DunhuangHuaXia International Hotel. Organized by the Dunhuang Family Education Summit and supported by Education Department of GansuProvince, 22-23 July, 2017

2. The East meets the West • Welcome to Dunhuang – the Silk Road City where the East meets the West • A timelyplace to meet and discuss the future for ourchildrenwhoaregoing to create a harmonious and peacefullworld • Dunhuang for me is a blend of history, cultures, ethnicities and religions and also a city famous for exchangesbetweendifferentworldviews, philosophies and everyday-lifeexperiences • This way, it is a symbol for all of us of greatness and the OBOR initiative of the Chinesegovernmentmayalsobenefit the people of Dunhuang and the world

3. Danish Families at a Glance • Around 50% of all marriages end in a divorce • About two-fifth of the population are single women and men (1.5 million) – but it does not necessarily mean they don’t have a partner • Nuclear families are of course there and around 500.000 are married with children and 400.000 without children but singles are also normal as can be seen by the numbers

4. Dreams • Most people have dreamsabout the perfectmarriage and again if theygetdivorcedtheydreamabout the secondperfectmarriage • Childrenoftenget problems in relation to divorce but it is a fact of life • Womenareemancipated – and in many cases theyleavetheir husbonds becausetheyareunhappy. In otherinstancesdivorceshappenbecause of to muchwork and stress among the parents.

5. Realities • The cartoon shows that in Denmark– ”I mean” – meansthat all have an opinion and theyshould have an opinion aboutalmost all issueswhichareimportant in the family. This includeschildren. Nobody is above or below – whichmeansthat in appearance it is a super democratic institution • Care, devotion and love is key to understand the Danish way of raisingchildren

6. The Baby • Affection and love is onlypossible if you have the means, money and time! • Maternityleave (for most people52 weekswith fullpay and mommy and daddycanshare the leave) – it meansbreastfeeding as long as possible as a way to give closeness, intimacyand let the little baby getmaximum love. • Everymother and everyfathereverywhere in the worldsinglullabies for the baby- this is universal. • The same thingwith – manyparentsread for ourchildren–many, manydifferent kinds of books. Sometimes the parentsfall a sleepbefore the child.

7. Good night • https://www.vagalume.com.br/kim-larsen/elefantens-vuggevise.html

8. Nursery and Kindergarten Pedagogical values and aims: Respect for and autonomy of the child Creativity and happiness Fairytales and storytelling Healthy and sustainable Living In contrast to the rest of the world, there is neither traditional curriculum nor division of subjects and classes in the Danish day care centres and kindergartens. There are no prescribed time spans and the activities can vary from short sequences and to children engaged at a play that can last for weeks There are no specific subjects but different themes and activities are coordinated cross-curricular Many of the activities in the day care centresand kindergartens challenge the child creative or physically

9. School • It is compulsory to attendschool in Denmark nineyears (in some cases if children have learning problems 10 years). • But thereare of courseindividual and mixed experiences from onewhomaybequite indifferent but may do whatheor she is supposed to do (no more); to anotherwhomayalwaysbewellprepared and quitestrong in all subjects; to the another case whomaychangeschoolbecause of bullying.

10. Mother’srole • Multitasking is normal and manywomen in Denmark are double-burdened in the sensethatthey have a fulltime job and also have to do the bulk of the housework, takingcare of children etc. This has beenslowlychanging as more and more men areparticipating in theseactivites – social reproduction is more becoming non-gendered but womenare still mainresponsible for householdtaskssuch as cooking, cleaningtakingcare of kids etc.

11. Father’srole Beforehethoughthewasfree to do whathelikes but alsothis is changing and as said men do almost the same as women in Denmark or theycreate a division of labour so thatbotharehappy. Manyyoungpeople at leaststrivetowardsequality in the household. This is important for the children to seethatbothparentswork and take part in all activities.

12. Children’srole I agree with an old saying from India: * Childrenshouldbetreated as a king or a queenuntilltheyare 12 * Childrenshouldbetreatedlike an apprenticeuntilltheyare 18 * Childrenshouldbetreated as a friendwhentheyaregrownups

13. Gender • Genderequality is of enormousimportanceamongalmost all families in Denmark. In terms of raising the childgirlswill in principlebetreated the same way as boys but of coursetherearebiological differences.

14. Happiness • Can youbehappywhenyouaredivorced? • Yes that is indeedpossible – especially if youdon’t have a happymarriage. • Divorce is quitecommon in Denmark and canbeverytroublesome for some and more smotth for others.

15. Candy • Obesity is a problem and girlssometimesgeteatingdisorders. Youmaychoose a strategywhere the childrenalwaysgetwhattheywantand youmay ask them to beg whenyou go to the grocessery – please beg as much as youlike – this is the onlyway to stop begging (if youcangetwhatyouwantyoudon’tneed to cry and getangry).

16. Education • It is entirely up to the child in whichdirectiontheywant to go – theycanmaketheirownchoiceafter college. Someparentswill put pressure on the child or ratheryoungsters but the youngstersshouldchose with theirhearth.

17. Sex This is of course a triggyquestion and the real challenge is whether to differentiatebetweenboys and girls. It is important not to createfearand to becatiousespeciallywhen it comes to daugthers.

18. Corporalpunishment • Is forbidden in the education system and in the family. With NO exeptions.

19. Family educationor Family Theraphy? This definition is usually: - Focused on ”a person” - Has negativityattached - Is accompanied by blaminginteractionsthat have become central to thenrelational pattern of the family Social relations – whenonemember of a family has a problem the wholefamily has a problem In theirattempt to solve/deal with problems: - Families with problems usuallytry to find a definition of what the problem is! - Eachmember has her/his ownunderstandingbased on theirexperience and thinkingabouttheirlife problems - This is a natural part of finding a solution to the problem in the family /whethernuclear or single mother or father

20. ”Let one thousand flowers bloom” ”Let one thousand flowers bloom” seems to be the core of the Danish Family Education System and this is very much in line with what may be called a Danish approach to raising children. Children should be seen as a resource – an independent human being – capable of making her or his choices and not necessarily in need of any guidance Some see creativity and autonomy of the child as the most important source while others see more adult regulation as important but there is agreement that the process itself is indispensable and very valuable – it means that in some cases – depending on the context and the children – there is more room for adult top-down guidance and in other cases there is more space for a bottom-up approach

21. Thankyou for your time