Practical ways to improve your sense of personal well-being. Prof. Ray Miller

1. Happiness In Practice Practical ways to improve your sense of personal well-being. Prof. Ray Miller Chartered Psychologist May 2012 1

2. Happiness – the bandwagon

3. (June, 2011) project. Former BPS President Ray Miller, for example, said: ‘While everyone seems to be claiming a right to happiness, I want to defend the right to be bloody miserable. If people are seriously led to believe that happiness is a continuously attainable state, then they are being misled. Unhappiness becomes pathology and people feel cheated and deprived. They seek a “cure” and believe “someone should do something” to alleviate their suffering. But unhappiness is a natural reaction to some sets of circumstances. Like a pendulum, we will always swing between the two states with dynamic fluctuation only ending when the clock stops. In a more balanced way, we should perhaps be aiming for contentment.’

4. Taking Happiness Seriously? The term 'well-being' is often taken to mean ‘happiness’. Happiness is one aspect of the well-being of individuals and can be measured by asking them about their feelings – subjective well-being. July 2011 May 2012 4

5. Happiness <=> Success? “But in fact the GDP is a hopeless measure of welfare. For since the War that measure has shot up by leaps and bounds, while the happiness of the population has stagnated. To understand how the economy actually affects our well-being, we have to use psychology as well as economics. Fortunately psychology is now moving rapidly in the right direction and I hope economics will follow.” May 2012 5

6. Layard – What is Happiness? “So what do I mean by happiness? By happiness I mean feeling good – enjoying life and feeling it is wonderful. And by unhappiness I mean feeling bad and wishing things were different.”

7. Scottish Happiness? • National Indicator Increase the average score of adults on the Warwick-Edinburgh Mental Wellbeing Scale by 2011 • Current Status (Max score = 70) The mean score fell from 51 in 2006 to 50.0 in 2008 and remained at a similar level in 2009 (49.7) and 2010 (49.9). May 2012 7

8. Warwick-Edinburgh Items • I’ve been feeling optimistic about the future • I’ve been feeling useful • I’ve been feeling relaxed • I’ve been feeling interested in other people • I’ve had energy to spare • I’ve been dealing with problems well • I’ve been thinking clearly • I’ve been feeling good about myself • I’ve been feeling close to other people • I’ve been feeling confident • I’ve been able to make up my own mind about things • I’ve been feeling loved • I’ve been interested in new things • I’ve been feeling cheerful May 2012 8

9. Positive Psychology Positive psychology is a recent branch of psychology whose purpose was summed up in 1998 by Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: "We believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise, which achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving in individuals, families, and communities."

10. Happiness In Practice • Happiness is not an accident nor a gift. It is a state of positive mental and physical well-being you can learn to achieve, sustain and improve. • The Positive Psychology movement has identified key methods and techniques that have inspired people to see that greater happiness is an achievable goal. May 2012 10

11. Time for some change? • Do you want to enjoy life more? • Do you want a better and happier outlook? • Do you want simple, proven techniques? • Are you prepared to put in some effort? No cost! No drugs! No therapy! No nonsense! May 2012 11

12. Product Promises • You will not be Happy all the time – shit happens • Unhappiness is a normal reaction to adverse circumstances • You can shift the balance to achieve a better, overall, level of contentment SadHappy May 2012 12

13. Make time for Happiness 5 key skills • Practice appreciation • Acts of kindness • Use your strengths • Setbacks and resilience • Expressions of gratitude May 2012 13

14. Appreciation • We take so many things for granted that sometimes we hardly notice the things we enjoy and appreciate. • On the other hand we certainly notice the things that annoy or upset us. • For the next week try to pay more attention to the little and large things that you enjoy in the day. Aim for at least 3 things you Appreciateper day. May 2012 14

15. Appreciation “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

16. Breakfast in bed A smile from a stranger Children playing Your favourite music An outdoor lunch Five minutes of deep breathing A small victory An opportunity to be creative Finding money you didn’t know you had A snack or drink you really like A beautiful sunset or sunrise An extra half-hour of sleep A warm, refreshing shower A book you’re dying to read An itch you can actually reach A new recipe that comes out perfectly Something so funny it makes you laugh out loud Examples of Appreciation

17. Kindness • It may seem strange, but much of our own happiness and sense of well-being comes from helping improve the happiness and well-being of others. • Each day, in large or small ways, we can practice acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that make the world just a little better place to live. That’s our world too! • Try for 3 RandomActs of Kindnessa day May 2012 17

18. Examples of Kindness • Give up your seat • Hold a door open for someone • Give a (sincere) compliment • Make someone laugh • Give someone a hug • Take time to really listen to someone • Make someone new feel welcome • Let one car in on every journey • Give directions to someone who's lost • Have a conversation with a stranger • Pick up litter as you walk • Let someone in front of you in the supermarket queue

19. Strengths • Although at times we may feel weak and helpless, we all have strengths. • Often these go unrecognised and we may even believe some of the strengths are weaknesses. • Let’s get a more balanced view by looking at some important strengths you may display in your day to day life. May 2012 19

20. Examples of Strengths • Creativity [originality, ingenuity] • Curiosity [interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience] • Open-mindedness [ judgment, critical thinking] • Love of Learning [education, understanding] • Perspective [wisdom, balance] • Persistence [perseverance, industriousness] • Integrity [authenticity, honesty] • Love [caring, empathy] May 2012 20

21. Strength Check If you’d like to check your signature strengths, please go online to: www.authentichappiness.com Register on the site (free) and complete the VIA Signature Strengths questionnaire. May 2012 21

22. Resilience Life doesn’t always go smoothly. There are times when we all have to face difficulties, distress and pain; both physical and emotional. That’s normal. But as Winston Churchill once said: “If you are going through Hell, keep going.” There will be another side where you can come out and move on. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzschesaid: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” If we learn from our experiences, we come out better able to deal with future problems. Sometimes we have to fall to rise again. May 2012 22

23. Examples of Resilience • Ability to “bounce back” • Bend but not break under stress • Maintain equilibrium when things go wrong • Ability to persevere through setbacks • See the bigger picture • Ability to look on the bright side • Create meaning and purpose; transcend • Be prepared to be flexible • Get support; accept help • Remember past success • Physical self-care; look after yourself • Sense of humour May 2012 23

24. Characteristics of Resilience • Emotional Self Control • Strong Relationships • Genuineness and Self Acceptance • Goal Setting • Belief in Self Efficacy • Perspective • Curiosity • Persistence and flexibility • Humour May 2012 24

25. Gratitude • One of the core ingredients of Positive Psychology is the Gratitude Letter: a written and specific expression of thanks to someone who has been especially kind or important to you and who has never heard you express your gratitude. • It might be parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, team mates, employers, and so on… May 2012 25

26. Hints: Content and Style • Why you are writing this letter. • What you are grateful for. Be as specific as possible. • Describe the things you are grateful for in concrete terms. • Describe how they affected you, how you benefited, what you learnt. • Allow yourself to be fully in touch with the feeling of gratitude as you write. • Read and re-read the letter; ensure it captures your thoughts and feelings. • Set a time and day to go on your gratitude visit. • Make the visit. Often the hardest part, but also the most beneficial. May 2012 26

27. That’s All Folks… • Thanks too to Paul Newton (newtonperformance@gmail.com) who inspired and collaborated on the first Happiness in Practice course. • This presentation can be downloaded from www.HappinessUK.com/files/ May 2012 27