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Genuine Listening by: ELIZABETH LUMAYAG-CODILLA

Genuine Listening by: ELIZABETH LUMAYAG-CODILLA. 3 Steps to Effective Relationships: 1.Self Awareness (Sariling Kamalayan) 2. Genuine Listening (Tutuong Pakikinig) (3. Peaceful Assertiveness (Mapayapang Pag-aaserto).

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Genuine Listening by: ELIZABETH LUMAYAG-CODILLA

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  1. Genuine Listeningby:ELIZABETH LUMAYAG-CODILLA

  2. 3 Steps to Effective Relationships:1.Self Awareness (Sariling Kamalayan)2. Genuine Listening (Tutuong Pakikinig)(3. Peaceful Assertiveness(Mapayapang Pag-aaserto)

  3. Genuine Listening (GL) could also be termed as ACTIVE LISTENING, REFLECTIVE LISTENING and EMPHATIC LISTENING

  4. Why Listen?1. to obtain information2. to understand 3.for enjoyment

  5. Applicability or UtilityPeaceful Approaches:Dialogue, mediation, negotiation, even in ordinary conversation discussion and during meetings.

  6. One of the reasons why we listen is to UNDERSTAND Native American Proverb:“Seek first to understand and be understood”“Listen or thy tongue will make you deaf”Why? The deepest need for every person is to be understood.

  7. Genuine Listening means you should listen with your eyes, hearts and ears.

  8. 7% of communication is contained from words we use;(so your ears are not enough) • 53% of our communication comes from body language; • 40% from the tone we project

  9. Genuine Listening means • not just hearing the words spoken but/learn their meanings or understanding the total meaning of the message sent. • not only involves cutting of the thoughts in our mind and focusing on the person,but it involves not interrupting them while they are talking.

  10. Factors Affecting Listening • Speaker • Subject Complexity • The active Listener-the center • Presentation • Environment

  11. 3 Common Communication Blocks • We listen for what needs fixing, changing or figuring out. • We listen for opportunities to share our own wisdom, knowledge and competence. • We assume that we know what words and sentences are coming next.

  12. Important Elements in GL: • Attentiveness • Show that you are listening • Provide feedback • Defer judgment • Respond appropriately

  13. Description of a Genuine Listener (Burley -Allen) • Acknowledges the speaker-invites the communication to continue • Increase the speaker’s self-esteem and confidence • Tell the speaker, “you are important” and “I am not judging you” • Gain the speaker’s cooperation • Reduces stress and tension

  14. Description of a Genuine Listener • Build teamwork • Gain trust • Elicit openness • Gain a sharing of ideas and thoughts, and • Obtain more valid information about the speaker and the subject

  15. Helpful Behavior of a Listener and its Effect to the Speaker Behavior Effect • Asks questions Feels happy • Clarifies Gagaan and feeling • Eye to eye contact Feels thankful • Mirrors facial expression Opens up 5. Leans towards the speaker Inspired

  16. 6. Affirms Feels respected 7. Touches when Feels calm appropriate and comfortable 8. Eyes show emotional reaction Feels increase self- confidence 9. Repeats some words to clarify Feels loved

  17. 10. Shows concerns in words and gestures increases self-confidence 11. Shows focused Feels cool expression 12. Wait for the speaker to finish before reacting feeling gimahal

  18. Non-helpful Behavior and Effects • Interrupts -Feels challenged • Laughs inappropriately -Feels insulted • Makes fun or magbiay- biay - feel sad/insulted • Eyes looking elsewhere -feels problem is greater • Tataas and kilay -feels uninspired • Walks away -feels not respected • Does something else -feels frustrated • Fakes listening -loses interest to talk/ -will stop talking

  19. says words to stop the speaker -feels something -wrong with selfyawning -closes upBlank face -loses interest to talkAsks as if not interested -feel sad/feel not importantshows irritation oranger -feels angry also/ challenged/sad

  20. Skills of a Genuine Listener (Center for Rural Studies) • Attending, acknowledging • Restating, paraphrasing • Reflecting • Interpreting • Summarizing, synthesizing

  21. Skills of a Genuine Listener (Cont.) • Checking perception • supporting • Being quiet • Giving feedback • Probing

  22. Builds trust and respect Enables disputants to release their emotions Reduces tensions/cooler heads Encourages the surfacing of emotions Creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving Confidence Benefits of Genuine Listening

  23. Benefits of Genuine Listening • Accuracy • Productivity • Listening has a healing effect • Self-worth of a person is reaffirmed • The person feels cared for and loved • Genuine communication is established

  24. Children who really listen to their parents work magic too Families that spend time to interact are happy families Benefits of Genuine Listening

  25. A skill and a foundation to effective communication • A step to effective relationship Our journey towards sustainable peace, requires effective communication and effective relationship as important tools.

  26. Therefore, genuine listening is a gift. The most important present that we can give to our spouse, children, friends, relatives, co-workers and neighbors.

  27. THANK YOU

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