Bullying and Relationship Violence

1. Bullying and Relationship Violence Ms. Fitchwell Health Education- Grade 8

2. Topics Covered • Section 1: Bullying • Section 2: Violence and Abuse • Sections 3: How can you avoid Abuse? • Section 4: Dating Violence

3. Dealing With Bullying • Bullying IS a BIG Deal • BULLYING: when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power • Could be physical strength or social standing • What are the two main reasons people are bullied? • Appearance: • Clothes they wear, haircut, etc. • Social Status: • The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality • http://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/bullying/bullies.html

4. Dealing With Bullying • Bullies Attack Physically • Shoving, tripping, punching, etc. • Bullies Attack Psychologically • Verbal insults, labeling, name calling, etc • Cyber Bullying Missouri • One of the MOST painful aspects of Bullying is its RELENTLESSNESS • Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems • Depression • Anxiety • People who are bullied may also develop physical illness • Stomach pains, extreme stress levels, etc.

5. Bullying • Bullies are at risk for developing problems as well • Often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up • As many as 25% of elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 30 years old • May end up being rejected by their peers • Do not do as well in school • Often do not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy

6. Who Bullies? • Both boys and girls can be bullies • May be outgoing and aggressive • May try to manipulate in deceptive ways • Like to dominate others • Have often been bullied in the past themselves • Often have poor social skills and poor social judgment • People who are insecure with themselves • Put others down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful • Some have personality disorders

7. What Can You Do About Bullying? • When to tell an adult • Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an adult • Teens should tell an adult if there have been threats of physical danger or harm • Many teens have died when threats, and attacks were unreported and the silence gave the bully an “ok” to become more and more violent

8. What Can You Do About Bullying? • Ignore the Bully and Walk Away • NOT a coward’s response • Can be harder than losing your temper • You are telling the bully that you just don’t care • The bully will likely get bored with trying to bother you • Walk TALL and hold your head HIGH • Hold the Anger • Anger is the response the bully is looking to get from you • Bullies want to know that they have control over you • Work out your anger in another way, such as…

9. What Can You Do About Bullying? • Don’t Get Physical • Do NOT use physical force • You cannot be sure how the bully will respond • Talk About It • Guidance Counselor, Teacher, or Friend • Good outlet for fears and frustrations • Find Your True Friends • Find one or two good friends you can confide in that the bully has hurt your feelings • Tell those friends about the truth of the rumors the bully may be starting about you

10. Section 2: Violence and Abuse

11. Where Violence Occurs Violence can occur in any relationship Family Violence Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband Child Abuse- abuse of child Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional needs Dating Violence Rape- any forced sexual activity that is unwanted Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF Community Violence Personal Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm Homicide- willful killing of another person Gang Related

12. What is abuse? Physical- harm to the body Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of Weapons Emotional- attacking a person’s sense of worth Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling, and Threats of other violence Sexual- sexual contact against persons will Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse

13. Signs of Abuse Any physical harm Controlling Dress, Friends, What you say Humiliation Puts you down, then tells you “I love you” Threats Especially if you want to leave relationship Twists the truth Wants you to feel at fault Keeps track of you Jealousy/Anger when you are around others

14. Cycle of Abuse Honeymoon Phase

15. Honeymoon Stage- Both people are happy in relationship Tension Phase- Tension build between people, abusive person gets frustrated with other. Abuse Stage- Shortest stage / Most harmful This stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger. Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by returning to honeymoon phase

16. Section 3: How can you Avoid Violence?

17. How YOU can Avoid Violence 1. Recognize Become aware of the acts that are abusive The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware. 2. Resist If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand up for yourself. 3. Report If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell someone ASAP. Report abuse of others.

18. Breaking the Cycle You can help break the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused… Tell a trusted adult. Ask them for help to resolve the problem. Contact an abuse hot line or crisis center that can help. Report the abuse to the police. The Cycle of Violence

19. Community Support Who can you turn to for help? Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult Student Assistance Team at BMS Crisis Centers/Hotlines Local Law Enforcement Family Counseling Support Groups- groups of individuals with similar problems

20. Section 4: Dating Violence

21. Dating Violence Dating violence Abuse in dating relationships which can be physical, emotional or sexual Gateway Cheerleader Mt. Lebanon Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant treatment as a sign of love and emotion. Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be abused or controlled.

22. Signs Indicating Unhealthy Dating Relationships These signs may indicate that an unhealthy relationship is moving toward abuse: 1. Expression of Jealousy 2. Attempts to control a partner’s behaviors Cell phones, keeping tabs on what you do 3. Use of insults or put-downs to manipulate a partner 4. Use of guilt to manipulate a partner Remember, healthy relationships involves kindness, caring and respect, not control and abuse.

23. Dating Violence Statistics • 70% of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an injury from a violent relationship. (Foshee 1996). • 8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury received from a dating partner (Foshee 1996). • Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk for injury, they are also more likely to engage in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and currently sexual activity CDC 2006. • Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than twice as high in girls who report physical or sexual dating violence than in girls who report no violence (Plichta 1996).