Fine Dining Etiquette

1. Presented by Career Services Fine Dining Etiquette

2. What is the Purpose of Etiquette? Etiquette rules are actually supposed to make you feel comfortable, not uncomfortable. The idea is that if there are standards that people abide by, then you can have confidence that you are behaving "appropriately." It takes the guesswork out of public behavior. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 2

3. Why Learn Dining Etiquette? Many employers want to see how candidates handle themselves in a public and/or formal dining setting. In today�s world of work, not just in Corporate America, business is often conducted over a meal. Professional networking also takes place over appetizers or a meal. Your behavior and presentation can make you or break you. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 3

4. Job Interviews & Dining The primary purpose is the interview, not the meal. Dining-Interviews follow the same principles as regular interviews, so preparation is key. Dining-Interviews require you to multi-task, while minding your manners. Topics to avoid: Health, Religion, Politics or other controversial subjects. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 4

5. Job Interviews & Dining There is a chance that you will dine and interview with more than one person representing the employer. Can be more stressful than a one-on-one interview. Initially address your answer to the person who asked it, but move your eyes around the table to others to make a personal connection with them also. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 5

6. Job Interviews & Dining:DO�s and DON�T�s Don�t go hungry. Do be prepared to pay, just in case. Don�t order alcohol, even if the host/hostess does. Do prepare questions you will ask the employer. Don�t order the most expensive item on the menu. Do be polite and know proper etiquette. Do have cash in case you have to pay for parking or to tip for valet service. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 6 Asking questions will give you chewing time. Ask one of your prepared questions and then take a bite. Don�t try to be diplomatic and offer to pay �it�s inappropriate and could be embarrassing. The host/hostess should always pay the bill and the tip. Always be prepared to pay though. If you wind up having to pay, you will probably want to sever ties with this employer. It�s impolite to host someone to a meal and then ask them to pay. Chances are, this employer will likely be just as impolite as a boss.Asking questions will give you chewing time. Ask one of your prepared questions and then take a bite. Don�t try to be diplomatic and offer to pay �it�s inappropriate and could be embarrassing. The host/hostess should always pay the bill and the tip. Always be prepared to pay though. If you wind up having to pay, you will probably want to sever ties with this employer. It�s impolite to host someone to a meal and then ask them to pay. Chances are, this employer will likely be just as impolite as a boss.

7. Job Interviews & Dining:DO�s and DON�T�s Do bring your pad-folio, a nice pen and extra resumes. Do bring your list of prepared questions. Don�t order messy foods or finger foods. Do eat. Just don�t eat vigorously. Don�t order garlic. Do be polite and diplomatic if a problem with service should occur. Don�t order dessert unless the host/hostess does. Do slip in your well-thought-out answers in between bites. This is what it�s all about. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 7

8. Before the Meal Locate the restaurant and plan your driving path and parking. Check to see if a menu is available online. If so, familiarize with the food options. Turn cell phone off. (Or, don�t bring it in.) Shake hands with each interviewer. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 8 If you are seated before the others arrive, be sure to STAND UP to shake hands. (males and females) If you are seated before the others arrive, be sure to STAND UP to shake hands. (males and females)

9. Being Seated at the Table Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Both men and women should always enter the chair from the RIGHT side of the chair. Simply pull the chair out and take a seat. First Thing Upon Being Seated: Place your napkin in your lap. (The only exception to this rule: If there is an identifiable host or hostess, you will want to wait and follow their lead.) 9

10. The Napkin Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith LUNCH The napkin used for lunch is smaller than a dinner napkin. Unfold the napkin entirely and place horizontally across your lap. The shape you will see in your lap is SQUARE. DINNER The napkin used for dinner is large. Unfold the napkin only � way, with the fold facing toward you and place horizontally across your lap. The shape you will see in your lap is a RECTANGLE. 10

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12. Which Drink is Yours?  b �d MEMORY DEVICE TO HELP YOU Hold both hands in front of you, palms facing each other. Make a �b� with your left hand. Make a �d� with your right hand. Bread (b) is always on your left, and drink (d) is always on your right. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 12 If your neighbor has already taken your bread plate or drink, quietly ask the waiter for another. You will point your index fingers and curl the other fingers down to your thumb to make the b and d. If your neighbor has already taken your bread plate or drink, quietly ask the waiter for another. You will point your index fingers and curl the other fingers down to your thumb to make the b and d.

13. Ordering Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith As the guest, your order will be taken first. It is acceptable to ask the server questions. Avoid asking for substitutions. Order only two courses unless the host/hostess makes a comment encouraging you to order another. Courses Include: Appetizer, Soup, Salad, Entr�e, Dessert/Coffee Avoid messy foods or finger foods. Water and Tea are always acceptable. Soda is sometimes acceptable. Alcohol is never acceptable. Cherry tomatoes can be a nightmare when trying to cut them. Just don�t eat them. 13

14. The Utensils Always use the knives and forks FROM THE OUTSIDE IN, no matter how many there are. The outside fork is for salad. The fork closest to the plate is for the main course. The silverware will be removed as you finish each course. Used utensils are never placed on the table. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 14

15. When To Begin Drinking and Eating? If water is on the table as you are seated, it is appropriate to sip your water after everyone is seated (once your napkin is in your lap). Other beverages and food: WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE HAS BEEN SERVED TO BEGIN. It is cordial to wait until the host/hostess begins eating/drinking. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 15

16. The Bread Can be in a basket. Or, sometimes will be on your bread plate upon your arrival. Do not begin eating bread or other communal food until the host indicates. Always tear bread into bite-size pieces, butter, and then eat. Never butter the entire piece (or �) and eat the slice. When you pick up the bread basket, offer it, first, to the person to your left. Then serve yourself and pass to the right. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 16

17. Passing Items Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 17

18. Salt & Pepper The salt and pepper are MARRIED. You must always pass them together, even if someone only requests one of them. Never salt or pepper your food before tasting it. It is considered rude. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 18

19. Cream and Sugar  The cream and sugar are DIVORCED. They do not have to be passed together. Pass only the requested item. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 19

20. Soup & Salad Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Dip your soup spoon away from yourself to fill your spoon with soup. Rest your spoon periodically. If a service plate is behind the bowl, use it. If not, rest your spoon in the bowl of soup. To finish the last bite of soup, it is acceptable to tip your bowl slightly to fill your spoon. It is okay to cut your salad if the pieces are too big. Cut only a few pieces at a time. Cherry tomatoes are an accident-waiting-to-happen. Just don�t eat them. 20

21. Two Dining Styles Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith American Style European Style Both are acceptable in the United States. Choose the one you are most comfortable with. 21

22. Begin To Eat Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Both American and European styles begin the same way: Start with the entr�e meat. Begin with your fork in your left hand, tines facing down, with the index finger along the back of the fork. At the same time, your knife should be in your right hand, blade facing down, with the index finger along the back of the knife. 22

23. American Style  After cutting your food, place the knife at the upper edge of your plate. TRANSFER THE FORK OVER TO YOUR RIGHT HAND and place the food into your mouth with the tines facing up. Your left hand goes in your lap while you are taking a bite. While resting, your hands always stay below the table. (unless you are taking a drink) Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 23

24. European Style After you have cut your food, KEEP THE FORK IN YOUR LEFT HAND, and place the food into your mouth with the tines facing down. To put a soft food onto your fork, spear the meat and use your knife to push the food up and onto the back of the fork. This is standard for European style. While resting between bites, your hands and wrists (not forearms or elbows) always stay above the table. Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 24

25. What To Do If Your Napkin Falls On The Floor? Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith If your napkin falls on the floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve the napkin without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one. 25

26. Taking a break Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith There is a silent signal to the wait-staff that you are not quite finished eating, but only taking a break. This method is the same for both styles: Rest your fork, tines down, on the left side of your plate, around 7 o�clock. Rest your knife, blade facing in, on the right side of your plate, around 5 o�clock. Depending on how much room you have on your plate, you may have to adjust the utensils apart more or a little closer together. They can overlap in the center of the plate if necessary. 26

27. Finished Eating Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith There is a silent signal to the wait-staff that you are completely finished eating. This method is the same for both styles: Place your fork and your knife side-by-side at the 10:20 position on a clock, with the fork on the inside. (some say 9:15 position) Fork tines can face up or down. The knife blade always faces inward on the plate. When you are finished, place your napkin on the table on the left side of your plate. This is the only time the napkin goes back on the table. 27

28. Excusing Yourself From The Table During The Meal Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Loosely place your napkin on the back of your chair, never in the seat. While making the motion to get up, simply inform the person to the left and right �Please excuse me. I�ll be right back.� Get out of your chair on the RIGHT side. 28

29. Important Points Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Limit sweetener to two packets. Tear one (or both at the same time) � of the way at the top of the packet. Leave the paper waste neatly on the coffee service plate or on an empty bread plate. When in doubt, use your utensils rather than your fingers (even French fries). If there is a problem with your food, handle it discreetly. Don�t cause a scene. Your napkin is used to blot or dap your mouth. Bring food to your mouth, not mouth to the food. 29

30. Important Points Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Men should rise when a woman leaves the table. It is not necessary to completely stand for a temporary departure. Simply rise off the seat to acknowledge her leaving. Never groom at the table. (e.g. lipstick, face powder, eye-contacts, etc.) Some restaurants require you to keep your jacket on during the meal. If your utensil falls on the floor, discreetly ask the server for another one. If food falls off of your plate onto the floor, leave it and don�t step in it. If it falls onto the table, use your fork and move it up onto the corner of your plate. Or, let it be. It is polite to leave some food on your plate. 30

31. How Do I Eat and Interview at the Same Time? Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Remember, the point of the occasion is NOT the meal. You actually may not have much time to eat. You can initiate asking questions so that the conversation is more balanced and you have more time to eat. Don�t try to eat too fast. A large, hurriedly-eaten meal can make you drowsy and uncomfortable; a disadvantage if you still have to perform after the meal. 31

32. If You Don�t Like An Item Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Be polite. Never criticize or state your dislike. Eat the foods you do like and try unfamiliar foods. If you are asked if you like something, and it would be an obvious untruth if you don�t, say something gracious like �I�m not accustomed to this flavor, but I�m glad to have the opportunity to try it.� The job that you are being interviewed for may involve dining. Thus you could be evaluated for your grace in such situations. 32

33. Points To Remember The purpose of the meal is the interview. Follow the lead of your host/hostess. Be discreet and polite. 33 Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith

34. Taxonomy of an Interview A first interview typically has 6 identifiable phases: Breaking the ice with small talk Recruiter asking questions of the candidate Recruiter asking more probing questions for in-depth information Candidate asking questions of the recruiter Following up and going over next steps in recruitment process The close Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith 34

35. Interview Attire Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Before you are able to speak or shake hands, the interviewer, as well as everyone else you meet, is going to notice your appearance. An unfavorable first impression with any of these employees could easily ruin your chances of getting the job, especially if the other candidates are all impeccably dressed. First impressions are critical! Remember, you are marketing a product � yourself � to a potential employer. Would you select a product off of the grocery shelf that did not look appealing? Probably not. You must make every effort to be �professionally� dressed for an interview, as well as throughout your career in order to be seen as promotable. The general rule regarding appearance is to dress conservatively. It�s how you are dressed that sets the tone of the interview. If possible, prior to the actual interview investigate your prospective employer so that what you wear to the interview makes you look as though you �fit in� with the organization. If you overdress (floral dress you might wear to church) or under-dress (khakis and golf shirt), the potential employer may feel that you don�t care enough about the job. Your goal should be to look successful and professional. � 35

36. �Professional Attire� means: Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith A suit or coat and matching pants or skirt in a dark color, such as black, grey, or navy. Make sure all of your clothes are clean and pressed and your shoes are polished. Your hair should be nicely trimmed or styled, making sure that no hair falls into your face during the interview. Tattoos are hidden under clothes or makeup. An overall look that conveys competency, maturity, and reliability. �Attention to detail is crucial, and it will be important in your job responsibilities as well as in the interview process. 36

37. Women�s Attire Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Business suit in a conservative dark matt color (nothing shiny); skirt hemline (if wearing a skirt) should come to knees or right below � not too short or too long. Matching white or off-white blouse; avoid anything with lace or low cut. Dark closed toe shoes with a conservative heel � stick with the basic pump and avoid anything with straps or decorative fixtures; make sure you polish your shoes before the interview (interviewers will often at candidates� shoes). Wear flesh color hose when wearing a skirt. Light to moderate makeup; no heavy eye shadow, blush, or very bright lipstick. No perfume or perfumed body lotion (you never know if the interviewer will be extra sensitive to scents; too much perfume or cologne is a commonly cited reason for failed interviews). �Conservative jewelry; wear only one set of small earrings, no charm bracelets, and no necklaces with names on them (an interesting pin worn on the lapel will sometimes give the interviewer something to compliment). No visible piercings in nose, eyebrows, tongue, navel, or excessively on the ears. Conservatively manicured hands with short nails and no colored nail polish. Hair should be short or pulled back from your face; style should not make the interviewer wonder how you got it to �stay in place.� 37

38. Men�s Attire Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Business suit in a conservative dark color; wool or wool blend preferably � no summer seersucker or linen and nothing shiny. White or off-white button down shirt. Dark matching dress shoes; make sure they are polished. Conservative tie. Basic leather belt. Clean shave and clean, trimmed nails. No cologne or after shave lotion. No earring(s) or visible piercings in nose, eyebrows, tongue, or naval. 38

39. Behavioral Interview Questions Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Describe a situation in which you were able to use persuasion to successfully convince someone to see things your way. Describe a time when you were faced with a stressful situation that demonstrated your coping skills. Give me a specific example of a time when you used good judgment and logic in solving a problem. Give me an example of a time when you set a goal and were able to meet or achieve it. Tell me about a time when you had to use your presentation skills to influence someone's opinion. Give me a specific example of a time when you had to conform to a policy with which you did not agree. Please discuss an important written document you were required to complete. Tell me about a time when you had to go above and beyond the call of duty in order to get a job done. Tell me about a time when you had too many things to do and you were required to prioritize your tasks. Give me an example of a time when you had to make a split second decision. What is your typical way of dealing with conflict? Give me an example. Tell me about a time you were able to successfully deal with another person even when that individual may not have personally liked you (or vice versa). Tell me about a difficult decision you've made in the last year. Give me an example of a time when something you tried to accomplish and failed. Give me an example of when you showed initiative and took the lead. Tell me about a recent situation in which you had to deal with a very upset customer or co-worker. Give me an example of a time when you motivated others. Tell me about a time when you delegated a project effectively. Give me an example of a time when you used your fact-finding skills to solve a problem. Tell me about a time when you missed an obvious solution to a problem. Describe a time when you anticipated potential problems and developed preventive measures. Tell me about a time when you were forced to make an unpopular decision. Please tell me about a time you had to fire a friend. Describe a time when you set your sights too high (or too low). 39

40. Before, During & After The Interview Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith BEFORE Thoroughly research the company or organization and be familiar with their services, mission and vision, and clientele/patients/customers. Be thoroughly familiar with the job vacancy notice, if appropriate. Plan your physical presentation ahead of time. Prepare answers to typical interview questions and practice your answers in front of a mirror or with an honest friend or member of the Career Services staff. You want to make sure that you project confidence and composure in your answers. Make extra copies of your resume, your references, and portfolio materials, if appropriate, and take to the interview in a nice pad-folio, portfolio or briefcase. Find out the exact location of the interview, how long it will take to get there, alternate route, and plan to arrive 15-30 minutes early. Always have single bills and change for a parking meter or lot. If you have the option of scheduling an interview, take into account your cycle of energy. If you are not a morning person, schedule an afternoon interview. If you drag in the afternoons, schedule a morning appointment. However, if your interview is scheduled without your input, then make the most of the time you are in front of the employer. If you are one of the first, make a positive lasting impression through your knowledge of the employer, knowledge of yourself, and how you can add value to the hospital/company. If you are in the middle, do something that will energize the recruiter such as asking the recruiter about themselves and what their typical day is like and then relate what you have in common and how you would be challenged in that kind of environment. If you are one of the last to be interviewed, make sure you have something fresh to say in order to differentiate you from all who went before you, such as personal knowledge of the company�s services/departments and how you were impressed or have suggestions on how to improve it. Keep in mind that even a weary recruiter has an interest in what you say and how you present yourself. DURING A first interview typically has 6 identifiable phases: (1) Breaking the ice with small talk (2) Recruiter asking questions of the candidate (3) Recruiter asking more probing questions for in-depth information (4) Candidate asking questions of the recruiter (5) Following up and going over next steps in recruitment process (6) The close � 40

41. Before, During & After The Interview Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith DURING (cont�d) Enter the interview room with a smile, a positive attitude, and a firm handshake. Maintain good eye contact throughout the interview and always look genuinely interested in the company or organization and the job. Speak clearly and avoid slang words. Have confident answers for typical interview questions (see list of sample interview questions). Be prepared to provide examples and stories of how you have used your knowledge, skills, and abilities, relevant to the position. Review key qualifications for the position and know how you can use your assets for the company�s benefit. View each question as an opportunity to sell yourself. Identify strengths and specific examples or stories. Examples are absolutely critical. Keep your responses concise and focused, but not abrupt. Never say anything negative about a former company, employer or staff member. Have two or three questions prepared to ask the interviewer which highlight your research and interest. Ask for the interviewer�s business card, or clarify the interviewer�s name and correct spelling, before leaving the interview. Before leaving, emphasize your interest in the position and briefly summarize your skills that make you a good fit for the position. AFTER Immediately send a thank you note to the interviewer(s). If a panel interviewed you, send a thank-you to each person. Keep a record of the date of the interview, with whom you spoke, impressions of the employer, and any questions that arise after the interview for future reference. Work on answers to interview questions that you were not confident about and set up a mock interview with the Career Services Office if you need additional interview practice. Continue to apply for positions and interview with other employers until you have accepted an offer. 41

42. The Employer�s Perspective Dining Etiquette by Kim Meredith Interviews involve give-and-take from interviewers and candidates. Different perspectives are obtained when a candidate is interviewed by multiple people. Employer questions will revolve around how well a candidate can work with and through people. An interview is a means of sorting through �doers� and �posers.� Employers seek examples of how candidates build and maintain personal relationships and mutual trust. Whatever is on a resume is fair game to be discussed in an interview. Interviewers look and listen for values alignment to the mission of the employer�s. Questions can be designed to explore the resourcefulness of a candidate. 42

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