Dealing with: CHALLENGING COWORKER OR STUDENT SITUATIONS

1. Dealing with:CHALLENGING COWORKER OR STUDENT SITUATIONS Sandra Rhoten Associate Dean of Students Judicial Affairs

2. “Without difficulties, life would be like a stream without rocks and curves – about as interesting as concrete.” Benjamin Hoff: The Te of Piglet

3. Overview of Session • Overview of Issues

4. Who is a difficult person? • How do you feel when you encounter a difficult person?

5. POLL: What would you do if you had to deal with a difficult person? Fight ‘em Charm ‘em Forget ‘em

6. Difficult people can: • rob you of your dignity • destroy your self confidence • increase your stress levels • destroy your morale • erode your self esteem • foster negativity • decrease productivity • make life hellish

7. Brainstorm examples of situations in work setting

9. Managing Anger • Understanding more about anger • Managing your own anger • Dealing with other people’s anger

10. Handling a difficult person: angry / upset • Listen to them without defensiveness • Try to restate the issue from your point-of-view • Explain your point-of-view with care – make it easy for them to understand you. This is the skill of assertion: being able to express your point-of- view without alienating them. Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements • Don’t rush • Don’t be a difficult person for them

11. Difficult People • Bullscome out charging, always on the offensive, may believe others to be inferior • Ostriches bury their heads in the sand, trying to avoid problems rather than deal with them • Hyenas create a negative atmosphere by being sarcastic and casting doubt on everything

13. discussion DISCUSSION DISCUSSION Group discussion on effective strategies for responding to difficult people

14. Strategies for preventing difficult behavior in an office setting • Set standards / clarify expectations / notify students • Develop office protocol for dealing with issues • Establish consequences including conditions under which a student would be asked to leave the office • Train staff

15. Strategies for responding to difficult behavior • Early intervention • Progressive • Consistent • Consult with supervisor • Meet with student • When appropriate, report student to Judicial Affairs • When appropriate, report student to University Police

16. Meeting with the difficult student • Remain calm • Be specific about the inappropriate behavior the student has exhibited. Describe the behavior, don’t focus on the person. Explain why the behavior is a problem. • Ask questions and summarize • Conclude by summarizing any resolution and articulating expectations for the future. Be clear that continued inappropriate behavior may result in a referral to the Dean of Students Office, Judicial Affairs for disciplinary action and possible loss of the opportunity to attend the lab. • Maintain written documentation of the interaction • Terminate the conversation if it becomes apparent that the student is unwilling or unable to listen to your concerns and requests. These recommendations are based on the expectation that students can and will be reasonable if they have adequate information, clearly understand parameters, and are treated with respect. The expectation is that students can change their behavior. However, if they demonstrate unwillingness or inability to change, then additional interventions, including removal from the office, may be necessary.

17. University Resources • University Police • Emergency 911 • Non-emergency 2515 • Counseling and 3040 Psychological Services • Dean of Students Office 3211 • Judicial Affairs 4436 • Consultations • Disciplinary process • Sanctions • Record

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