Explosive Child Ross W. Greene, Ph.D

1. Explosive ChildRoss W. Greene, Ph.D Understanding the WHY of challenging behavior: Through Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) model (Greene 2008):

2. Three Ways to manage the Explosive Child - Use Plan A, Plan B or Plan C

3. 2 ways to do Plan B • Emergency Plan B – use as the child begins to become frustrated • Proactive Plan B - gets the problem solved proactively before the child heats up. It is done by discussing the problem

4. 3 steps for doing Plan B • Empathy- * Define the Problem- • Invitation-

5. Three basic skills necessary for your child to participate in Plan B discussions • Identifying and outlining Concerns. Phrases you might want to consider teaching your child include “Gimme a minute,” “I can’t talk about that right now,” “I need help,” “I don’t feel right,” “This isn’t going the way I thought it would,” and “I don’t know what to do.” 2. Considering a Range of Possible Solutions • ask for help; (2) meet halfway/give a little; and (3) do it a different way. These categories can be very helpful to children whose pathways are in the language-processing domain, for they simplify the language of problem solving and can be taught through pictures (if words are too cumbersome). 3. Reflect on the Likely Outcome of Solutions and the Degree to Which They are Feasible and Mutually Satisfactory. After multiple repetitions the child should be better able to independently generate solutions that are mutually satisfactory.

6. When Plan B goes wrong!! • Things that can go wrong. P 132 • Over relying on Emergency Plan B • Using Plan B as a last resort • You may be putting solutions on the table instead of concerns • You may be entering Plan B discussions with preordained solutions • You may be agreeing to solutions that are not realistic, doable or mutually satisfactory • You’re feeling as if you’re not very good at Plan B yet, so you’re still using a lot of Plan A instead. Remember empathy (not ‘no’) is the first step of Plan B. • Missing one of more of the three steps – empathy, define the problem, invitation. • The child might be lacking skills crucial for participating in Plan B.

7. Common Concerns and Questions and Responses p 146 - • People worry that by not using Plan A, the child is not having limits set • Safety Issues – Problems that cause children to be unsafe are not solved with Plan A; they get solved with Plan B

8. When to Stop using Plan A……Don’t give up on Plan B!! • If the child is exploding .STOP! • Go to Plan B if possible otherwise go to Plan C and at the next opportunity go to Proactive Plan B. • Plan B takes too long: Unsolved problems take more time than solved problems. The amount of time will decrease as the skills are developed. • The child won’t do Plan B – this may be because the child lacks the skills to do Plan B

9. Why Plan B?? • Rewards for doing Plan B – fewer explosions and getting along better will usually be reward enough • Time out – time is often used as a punishment and can exacerbate explosions. On the other hand, it can be productive for a child and adult to go separate ways so that a discussion can resume after. • Working with an explosive child is exhausting and requires a lot of energy

10. Emergency Plan B/ Pro active Plan B Emergency Plan B -increases the time constraints and heat Pro-active Plan B- helps to better solve the problems “ concern”- no idea of the problem you are trying to solve. “I don’t know”- maybe the child really does not know -Pro active Plan B provides the child with the opportunities to give the matter some thought.

11. CPS • Kid getting concerns on the table- • Taking yours into account • Working collaboratively toward a solution that works for both of you . Explosions are reduced Child is taking responsibility.

12. Scenario Mark, slamming his fist on the table, red-faced: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I DID NOT PUSH CHANDLER! I’M NOT APOLOGIZING ! GET AWAY FROM ME! ITS NOT HANDS ON!!WE WERE ONLY PLAYING. YOU GUYS KNOW NOTHING!!

13. Let’s try using some encouraging communication:and help Mark. • I’m not saying so because you’re not… • I’m not saying you can’t … • I’m not mad… • You’re not in trouble… • I’m not telling you what to do…. • I’m just trying to understand…. • What’s up?? Please note you can try using Plan A, Pro-active Plan B, Emergency Plan B, and Plan C. Pick the chit!!

14. Video • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARIEXN1yf00&feature=related