Funny Poems

1. Funny Poems Class 2C

2. My Hamster Has a Skateboard Click to Listen My hamster has a skateboard.When he rides it, though, he falls.He takes off like a maniacand crashes into walls.He screams, "Geronimo!"and then goes crashing down the stairs.He's good at knocking tables downand slamming into chairs.He'll slalom through the living roomand then you'll hear a, "Splat!"which means that he's collided withmy mother or the cat.He plows right into cabinets,and smashes into doors,I think he's wrecked on every bedand every chest of drawers.It's fun to watch him ridebecause you're sure to hear a smash.He doesn't skate so well but, boy,he sure knows how to crash. By Kenn Nesbitt  Illustrated by: Alex 2C

3. My Cat Goes Flying Through the Air Click to Listen My cat goes flying through the airfrom over here to over there.He lands and runs right back, and thengoes flying through the air again.I didn't used to see him fly,like Superkitty, through the sky.He used to only lie aroundupon my bed or on the ground.But now he's like an acrobat;the coolest ever flying cat.And how'd he get this great result?He built himself a catapult. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated by: Andy 2C

4. I Bought a Maserati Click to Listen I bought a Maseratiand a new Mercedes-Benz,plus a brand new LamborghiniI could show off to my friends.I purchased a Ferrariand an Aston Martin too,and a Porsche and a Jaguarand a BMW.I had them all deliveredto my mansion in the hills.I like to sit and look at them,imagining the thrills.For though it's fun to bethe richest nine-year-old alive,I'm sure I'll like it betterwhen I'm old enough to drive. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Charlie 2C

5. Gerbil, Gerbil, On the Run Click to Listen Gerbil, gerbil, on the runin your wheel, that looks like fun.You must be in awesome shape.Are you trying to escape?Is that why you dug a hole?Where'd you get that vaulting pole?That looks like my grappling hook.Give me back that rope you took.Tell me what that ladder's for.Why's that hacksaw on the floor?Are those cable cutters there?Do I see a signal flare?Crowbar, blowtorch, chainsaw too?What do you expect to do?How'd you get that fuse to light?Hey! That looks like dynamite!Quick! Get out! It might explode!Scram! Skedaddle! Hit the road!Man, I'll miss you. You were fun.Gerbil, gerbil, on the run. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated by: Han 2C

6. I Went to the Barber Click to Listen I went to the barber.He cut off my hair,which would have been great,but he didn't stop there.He slipped with his scissors.He snipped with his shears,and cut off my eyebrowsand both of my ears.I jumped in my seatcausing several more slips;he cut off my noseand my cheeks and my lips.With one final slip-uphe cut off my head,and that is the reasonI ended up dead.So kids, if your dad tells you,"You need a trim,"just pull out this poemand show it to him.As soon as he reads this,I'm willing to bet,that that's the last haircutthat you'll ever get. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Khoi 2C

7. When Frankenstein Was Just a Kid Click to Listen When Frankenstein was just a kid,he ate his greens. It's true. He did!He ate his spinach, salads, peas,asparagus, and foods like these,and with each leaf and lima beanhis skin became a bit more green.On chives and chard he loved to chew,and Brussels sprouts and peppers too,until he ate that fateful beanthat turned his skin completely green.He turned all green, and stayed that way,and now he frightens folks away.Poor Frankenstein, his tale is sad,but things need not have been so bad.It's fair to say, if only hehad eaten much less celery,avoided cabbage, ate no kale,why, then, we'd have a different tale.So, mom and dad, I'm here to sayplease take these vegetables awayor my fate could be just as grim.Yes, I could end up green like him.So, mom and dad, before we dine,please give a thought to Frankenstein. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated by KY 2C

8. My Robot's Misbehaving Click to Listen My robot's misbehaving.It won't do as I say.It will not dust the furnitureor put my toys away.My robot never helps mewith homework or my chores.It doesn't do my laundryand neglects to clean my floors.It claims it can't cook dinner.It never makes my bed.No matter what I ask of it,it simply shakes its head.My robot must be broken.I'll need to get another.Until that day, I have to say,I'm glad I have my mother. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Nick 2C

9. Nicknames Click to Listen My aunt calls me "Elizabeth."My grandma calls me "Liz."My sister calls me "Lisa,"and the baby calls me "Wiz."My uncle calls me "Betty,"while my grandpa calls me "Beth."My brother calls me "Dizzy Liz"or sometimes "Lizard Breath."My teacher calls me "Betsy"and my friends all call me "Bess."I find these nicknames more annoyingthan you'd ever guess.I wish that they would call meby my real name instead.I simply HATE those nicknames,see, my real name is Fred. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Nicole 2C

10. My Dog Ate My Homework Click to Listen My dog ate my homework.That mischievous pupgot hold of my homeworkand gobbled it up.My dog ate my homework.It's gonna be late.I guess that the teacherwill just have to wait.My dog ate my homework.He swallowed it whole.I shouldn't have mixed itwith food in his bowl. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By : Sarah 2C

11. My Dog Likes to Disco Click to Listen My doggy likes to disco dance.He boogies every night.He dances in his doghousetill the early morning light.The other dogs come runningwhen they hear my doggy swing.A few will play their instruments.The others dance and sing.They pair off with their partnersas their tails begin to wag.They love to do the bunny hop,the fox trot and the shag.You'll see the doghouse rockin'as a hundred dogs or moreall trip the light fantasticon the doghouse disco floor.At last, at dawn, they exitin the early morning breeze,and stop to sniff the fire hydrants,bushes, lawns and trees.I just don't understand itfor although it looks like fun.I can't see how they fit insidethat doghouse built for one. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Sophia 2C

12. My Parents Are Making Me Crazy Click to Listen My parents are making me crazy.They're driving me utterly mad.I'm mental because of my mother.I'm losing it thanks to my dad.My mom tells me, "Go do your homework,” and dad's yelling, "Vacuum the floors!"Then mom says, "Turn off the TV now,"and dad hollers, "Finish your chores!"With all of their grousing and griping,my brain is beginning to hurt.My dad's shouting, "Clean up the kitchen!” My mom's saying, "Tuck in your shirt!"I feel like I'm losing my marbles.If I go bananas today, then please give this note to my parents when the funny farm takes me away. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated by: Thy 2C

13. My Puppy Punched Me In the Eye Click to Listen My puppy punched me in the eye.My rabbit whacked my ear.My ferret gave a frightful cryand roundhouse kicked my rear.My lizard flipped me upside down.My kitten kicked my head.My hamster slammed me to the ground and left me nearly dead.So my advice? Avoid regrets;no matter what you do,don't ever let your family petstake lessons in kung fu. By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated by : Tran 2C

14. I Think My Dad is Dracula Click to Listen I think my dad is Dracula.I know that sounds insane,but listen for a moment andallow me to explain.We don't live in a castle,and we never sleep in caves.But, still, there's something weirdabout the way my dad behaves.I never see him go outin the daytime when it's light.He sleeps all day till evening,then he leaves the house at night.He comes home in the morningsaying, "Man, I'm really dead!"He kisses us goodnight, and thenby sunrise he's in bed.My mom heard my suspicionand she said, "You're not too swift.Your father's not a vampire.He just works the graveyard shift." By Kenn Nesbitt Illustrated By: Vy 2C