RAISING A SOCIO-EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILD by Group 6

1. RAISING A SOCIO-EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILDbyGroup 6

2. DEFINITION….. SOCIO-EMOTIONAL Socio- relating to society and social matters Emotional – relating to feelings and the way they affect life

3. -In control of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. -Have good relationships with family, peers, and people around. -Their needs are fulfilled; Physiological-food, shelter Emotional-love, care, etc. social – friends

4. to be responsible most of the time • to have appropriate affection for others • to know their now family is forever and relax in stability • to appreciate nature and all of Creation

5. FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FAILURE

6. Poverty Lack of nutrition Negligence Physical, mental emotional abuse FACTORS Unhealthy environment HIV positive Labour activities

7. WHO IS RESPONSIBLEIN RAISING SOCIO-EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILD?

8. Family – parents, siblings, relatives • Peers • Teachers & school administration • Media (TV) • Community, society & government

9. The believers are but a single Brotherhood. Live like members of one family, brothers and sisters unto one another.Quran (49:10)

10. PARENTS

11. Parents as the First and Foremost Teachers • Experts say what children learn during the first few years can shape their social, emotional, moral, and intellectual development throughout their life. • Informal teaching at home has a crucial impact on a child's development. • Burton White of Harvard University studies (1990) show that learning in the home outweighs school education: • "The informal education that the family provides for their children makes more of an impact on a child's total education than the formal education system. If a family does its job well, the professional [teacher] can then provide effective training. If not, there may be little a professional can do" (p. 4).

12. Social Skills Parenting plays a vital role in a child's social adjustment outside the home. Mothers who are positive and responsive tend to rear children who are socially accepted by their peers "Positive and responsive" means promoting self-esteem and social confidence in children. Children of fathers who are patient, playful, and understanding are much less likely to develop aggressive behaviour (Hart, 1999). A patient father disciplines lovingly and fairly. Such traits in both mothers and fathers promote healthy social development and prevent anger, hostility, and resentment in children (Hart, Newell & Olsen, 2001).

13. Develop Your Child's Social Skills & Social Values • Engage in "conversation" with your child. Talk and make soft, peaceful noises to him. Pay attention to the way he tries to "converse" with you through body movements, glances, and facial expressions. • Show your children you support them. Praise them when they accomplish something, even something small. • Use minimal coercion & minimal rewards. • Attribute good qualities to your children in relation to good behavior. ‘You are a generous girl to share your toys with Suzy’. • Use discipline before getting angry. • Include your children in family decision- making.

14. Develop Your Child's Emotional Skills • Ask your children questions on a daily basis. Listen attentively to what they say. They will appreciate that you care about their feelings. • Respond to your children's emotions. When your children are disappointed, sympathize with them and comfort them. When they're excited, be excited with them. They learn how to respond to other's emotions by the way you respond to them.

15. Emotional Skills • Children learn to understand and express emotions from their parents . • Parents become emotional role models, teaching children about emotions by example. • Children learn from their parents, for example, how to react to different events, when certain emotions are appropriate, what to call their emotions, and how to respond to the emotions of others. • Parents who teach these skills tend to raise emotionally healthy and morally sensitive children (Denham, von Salschich, Olthof, Kochanoff, & Caverly, 2002).

16. PROMOTING EVERYDAY LEARNING • Children learn from everyday events • -provide love and support • By using loving encouragement, not pressure and demands, learning will take place normally and naturally" (cited by Lall, 1983). • Parents has to provide a stimulating home environment . • An eight or nine-month-old roaming, crawling, and exploring will see the living room as an exciting place, filled with interesting things that are new to him, even though an adult sees only the same old boring room (cited by Lall, 1983). • "There must be freedom within the prepared environment for the child to develop his physical, mental, and spiritual growth" (cited by Lall, 1983).

17. Parents have the following responsibilities: • To keep their children safe, healthy, and happy . • To safeguard their children from injuries, illness, and other harm. • To get proper medical and dental attention for their children as soon as needed. • To send their children to school and make sure they get all the help they need to succeed there . • To do their best to provide their children with healthy food, clothing for all kinds of weather, friends to play with, and a happy home. • To teach their children how to keep themselves safe. • To seek help for themselves or their children when needed

18. Best Parents • Willingness to listen rather than lecture. • Respect their children & their friends. • The ability to treat their child as individuals. • Help their children to feel confident and don’t underestimate them. • (let them try more things on their own. Stand back and only offer assistance when it sought.)

19. From Islamic Perspective In the Quran, Allah (swt) addresses all believers, saying: "O you who have believed, save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels, stern (and) severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He orders them and (who) do (precisely) what they are commanded." Surat at Tahreem, 66:6.

20. It is related that the Prophet (s) said: "All of you are shepherds, and each one is responsible for his flock. A leader of people is a shepherd and responsible for them. A man is like a shepherd over his family, and he is responsible for his flock. A woman is like a shepherd over her husband’s house and children, and she is responsible for them. And a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. So all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges."

21. The responsibility begins with choosing a righteous wife. • A Muslim must choose a virtuous wife, remembering that he is choosing a mother to raise his children. • Allah instructs us in the Quran: "And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe." Al Baqarah, 2:221. • The Prophet (s) is also reported to have said: "The choicest blessing of this world is a virtuous wife."

22. After marriage, Muslim couples are inspired to bring up their families in righteousness. • When the child is born, a good name should be chosen. • The Prophet (s) also instructed: "Fear Allah and act with equality between your children". This clearly indicates that older siblings are not given preference over younger ones, nor are boys preferred over girls.

23. Islam speaks about three very different stages in raising the child so that he/she becomes a good adult. • This tarbiyyah happens in three 7-year stages. • Tarbiyyahmeans to look after, nurture, nourish, help grow and flourish. • The three stages as understood from the saying of the Prophet (s) are: • 1) The stage of play. (0-7 years) • At this early age, the child needs love and affection. Affection and love towards the child is not something that affects the spiritual and psychological security only, it is physical as well.

24. 2) The stage of discipline • * The Prophet (s) said: "Every child is born in a natural state of goodness. It is his parents who make him into a Jew, a Christian or a Magian." • Parents must try to safeguard the fitra of the newborn and at the same enrich it by following Islamic morals and teachings. • Children often learn from example. Parents who expect their children to be disciplined and work hard must themselves be disciplined and work hard.

25. 3) The stage of friendship. • Be a caring, kind and loving companion to your children, someone that they can turn to no matter what. • Always remind them of their duties and responsibilities. • Reminders should be done in the best possible way, not threatening or abusive. • Allah (swt) says in surat An-Nahl, verse 125: "Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and fair preaching and argue with them in a way that is better..." Always try to be positive in disciplining. • Parents should therefore also be willing to forgive their children rather than condemn them.

26. PEERS

27. 3 years of age – Develop an interest in playing interactively with other children. • Between the age of 3 and 5, children themselves develop an increasingly strong sense of rules. • They begin to reinforce group norms & expectations among themselves. • It is through experiences with other children , that children develop a growing understanding of what other people are thinking and feeling.

28. 5 years of age – Their patterns of relating to their peers become well established. • - Children who develop positive patterns of peers relations at this time are more likely to get along with their classmates at school. • ‘Play is a child’s richest learning medium. It contributes to physical, cognitive, language and social emotional development” • By the age of 6, children are able to relate other people in many ways. • Empathy for others • Participate in cooperative activities • Resolve disagreements in non aggressive ways with minimal adult assistance.

29. The ability to understand another person’s emotions and an understanding of their plans or intentions are both important to social understanding. • Children begin to demonstrate an understanding of another person through activities such as joint pretend play and actions such as teasing. • Children were more likely to share thoughts or ideas during child-child interaction than during mother-child interaction.

30. TEACHERS

31. THE INFLUENCE OF MEDIA (TV) & TEACHERS & SCHOOLS IN RAISING A SOCIO- EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILD By Noor Zilawati Md Uris

32. SEXUAL CONTENT EDUCATION VIOLENCE HEALTH NEGATIVE MEDIA (TV ) INFLUENCE AWARENESS OF CURRENT EVENTS MORAL TEACHERS POSITIVE FAMILY BOND EARLY EXPOSURE EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMES • Culture – sharing • Sensitive issues

33. IMPACT OF TV DEPENDS ON 4 FACTORS: • How much they watch • Their age & personality • Supervision from adults • Whether their parents • talk with them about what • they see on TV

34. VIOLENCE • Programs designed for children are 5-6 times more violent than adult TV. • Increased fear – “mean-and-scary world” syndrome • - Children often portrayed as victims of violence. • Desensitisation to real-life violence • - Most of violent TV shows are children’s cartoons (violence is portrayed as humorous) • Increased aggressive behaviour • - Young children are prone to exhibit aggressive behaviour after viewing TV shows.

35. Prime time news • - Children are more afraid of violence in news coverage • (real events) • TV glamorises violence • - promote violence as an effective way to get what you want. • - introduces dangerous stunts that intrigue the children to try. • - causes children to be socially, emotionally & mentally unhealthy.

36. SEXUAL CONTENT • Three out of four prime time shows contain sexual references • - situation comedies (84% contain sexual content) • Children nowadays are bombarded with sexual messages & images in all media. • - TV can be a powerful tool for educating young people about • the responsibilities & risks of sexual behaviour • BUT • without adult’s supervision & too early an exposure to it may • bring bad impact (imitation, wrong concept)

37. HEALTH • Cuts into the time children need for physical activities - free time should be spent doing activities (playing, reading, participating in sports) • Viewing TV is a factor of childhood obesity - inactive activity - almost 1 out of 4 children between 7-12,is obese. • Offer brief sense of relaxation - the feeling disappears just as quickly when the box is turned off. - if exercise – people generally feel more energized.

38. Encourage sedentary lifestyle • - contribute to obesity by aggressively marketing junk • food to young audience. • - ads do not generally give true @ balanced info about • healthy lifestyles & food choices. • Cause sleep problems • - children were frightened by TV stories (bad dreams, • nightmares, anxious feelings, afraid of being alone, • withdrawing from friends.) • - too excited in watching TV programmes which is available • 24 hours a day. – forgot to sleep :p

39. EDUCATION • Children who watch more TV do worse in school. • - contribute to poor grades due to imbalance time between • watching TV & giving emphasis on their education. • Most children’s programmes does not teach them what parents wants their • child to learn. • Some statistics • - the average child spends more time watching TV than in • school. • - kids spent about 20 or more hours each week watching TV, • which is more time is spent in any other activity besides • sleeping.

40. AWARENESS OF PAST, CURRENT & • FUTURE EVENTS • News, current events & historical programming can help make young people • more intact with the social life around them. • STRENGTHEN FAMILY BOND • Shared viewing gives family members of all ages an opportunity to spend • time together. • Child will not feel neglected & can develop their social skills among their • family members. • EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMME • Programmes such as National Geographic & Sesame Street can develop • children’s learning skills & critical thinking about the world.

41. TV AS MORAL TEACHERS • Some TV programmes teach children important values & life lessons • thus help in developing an emotionally healthy child. • EARLY EXPOSURE • TV programmes often explores controversial @ sensitive issues, which • can make it easier for parents & children to discuss about it. • Exposure to other cultures came almost first-handedly from TV through • various dramas, talk show & also cartoons.

42. To raise a socio-emotionally healthy child, parents have to make sure that television will not leave an ugly impact on your child development.

43. THE INFLUENCE OF TEACHERS & SCHOOLS

44. HOW TEACHERS & SHOOLS INFLUENCE IN RAISING SOCIO- EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILDREN • The school & the teachers have a great influence in child development • - school becomes the substitute of home • - teachers becomes the substitute for mothers • The teacher influences • - how the child feel about himself (supportive/punishment) • - by the way the teacher corrects the child (scold/guide) • - by the way the child interpret is school work • (punishment/development)

45. The attitude of the teacher towards his work & towards children is very • important • - like his work – understands children & is enthusiastic about what he • is teaching • - the personality pattern of the teacher an influence the child’s personality • School imparts the minimum general culture & knowledge that is necessary • for living a useful & successful life. • - prepares children as responsible citizens . • School perform an important role of character formation & moral education.

46. SOCIETY AND COMMUNITY

47. Remember that the most important lessons you teach your children are communicated by the way you live, rather than by what you say.

48. Be a role model- of good social & emotional behaviour • Advocate for a safe neighbourhood – make the children feel secure and not neglected. • Provide children’s needs – clinic, playground, childcare, clean streets. • Support parents-monetarily, morally.

49. Treat kindly Your related neighbours, and unrelated neighbours, Companions by your side in public gatherings, or public transportation.Quran (4:36)

50. DISCUSSION….. Has the present society done enough in raising socio-emotionally healthy children? Why?