Writing Observations

1. Writing Observations Jack Arnold Character Analysis

2. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold • The good • Most of you have a very firm grasp of the structural components: person, tense, complete sentences. You are getting stronger, and I salute you. • Most of you have a strong sense of Jack’s character and hit the important traits. • A particular strength, in general, is transitions. For the most part, the papers flow pretty smoothly.

3. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold • The bad • Those of you still writing in first person and past tense – I just couldn’t be more puzzled by that, given how many times we have addressed it. • I know you know what this means by now. So to still be violating those basic rules indicates that you either did not carefully edit your draft, or you did not follow directions . • Those types of errors cost points on the rough draft.

4. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold The ugly • Inaccuracies: They just kill your paper’s effectiveness. • Karen gets the duffel bag that her father used in the army during the Vietnam War. • Jack cannot allow his daughter to live with her father unless she is married to him. • Jack cares about his family so much and will do anyone for them. • Jack has to let Karen make her own incisions. • Jack and Kevin both end up working for Jack’s boss, Kim Stain.

5. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold • You must get the episode names and the quoted material correct. • In the episode “Bobby and Jack…” • “Your mother and I are better parents than this.” • Advice: Take pride in what you do, even if it’s a rough draft. Your effort says a lot about you: Make sure the message is positive.

6. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold In general: • You must give your paper a compelling title: something better than “Character Analysis” or “Jack Arnold” • Be sure to place the show (and Jack) in the proper era: Part of the conflict comes from trying to maintain his values in a socially turbulent time, the late 1960s and early ’70s. • Early in the paper, introduce and give a little bit of information about the characters. Don’t just jump into an example involving Kevin when the reader doesn’t know who Kevin is yet.

7. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold • Don’t confuse episodes: For example, the leak in the foundation of the house happens in “The House That Jack Built” not “Dinner Out.” • Don’t confuse dialogue: When Jack says, “I work hard for my paycheck; you can work hard for yours,” he is referring to Kevin doing more chores to earn more allowance. He is not referring to Kevin’s job as a caddy. • Jack says, “We’ll find our own way”: This is not said while Jack and Kevin are literally lost and trying to find the suit store. Jack says this in a much more symbolic context at the end of that episode to indicate that he and Kevin can find their way in their relationship.

8. Character Analysis: Jack Arnold • This is the biggest one: Number 7 on the checklist • Develop your examples thoroughly. To your credit, many of you try hard to avoid just summarizing each episode. However, each episode/example that you reference needs at least some background or context. • For example, we need to know what circumstances lead to Kevin and Jack’s “hero” discussion after the big basketball game. We need to know who Bobby Riddle is, why Jack is at that game, why Kevin is so irritated, etc.

9. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Other context examples: • Saying Jack opposes Karen living with Michael without mentioning that Karen is only 19, attending college, and is not married to Michael. • Not establishing the reason why Jack purposely loses the golf game.

10. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Mentioning the neighbor lady in the tree house episode without explaining why she causes the awkwardness between Jack and Kevin. • Let’s look at this one in detail and determine how to develop enough context, shall we?

11. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • With just one speaker, there is no dialogue. Include the quote in the paragraph: Don’t set it aside as its own paragraph, formatted like dialogue. • The only time you would make a single speaker’s quote its own paragraph is if it is longer than four lines of type.

12. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Work in as many details as you can. • Original: Jack Arnold may seem like a tough, man’s man because of his old-fashioned views. • Revised: Jack Arnold, the father on “The Wonder Years” television series, may seem like a tough, man’s man on the outside because of his old-fashioned views. • Original: Jack is trying to raise three teenagers on traditional values during a time period when dramatic cultural changes are taking place. • Revised: Jack is trying to raise three teenagers on traditional values during a time period when dramatic cultural changes are taking place: the late 1960s and early 1970s.

13. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Original: Even though he despises his job at Norcom, Jack puts forth full effort to make ends meet. • Revised: Even though he despises his middle-management job at Norcom, amilitary parts supplier, Jack puts forth full effort to make ends meet. • Original: This is based on his relationship with his daughter, Karen. • Revised: This is based on his rocky relationship with his rebellious, college-aged daughter, Karen, whose liberal views clash with Jack’s traditional values.

14. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • That said, don’t over-write. • If I have crossed out whole sentences or parts of sentences, I’m suggesting that this information is unnecessary or repetitive. For example, you don’t need to keep writing – “Jack’s oldest daughter, Karen,” – after you have said that once.

15. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Review: clutter • This refers to using too many words to state your point. • Removing clutter makes your writing leaner and more potent. • This scene really shows the trait of stubbornness in Jack. (9 words) • This scene shows Jack’s stubbornness. (5 words). • Word count reduced by nearly half.

16. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Kevin becomes conscious about Jack’s diverse thoughts and actions that were due to Jack being born into an era around the time of the Great Depression and serving in Korea while he was in the Army. (35 words) • Kevin learns that Jack is influenced by Jack’s Depression-era childhood and Army service in Korea. (15 words).

17. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Avoid passive verbs; don’t use contractions for subject/verbs • Passive: When Jack is interacting with his children… • Active: When Jack interacts with his children…. • Passive: Being so conservative, it’s hard for Jack to deal with Karen’s views… • Active: Jack’s conservative nature often collides with Karen’s liberal views… • Passive: Jack’s struggling to make his kids share the same values… • Active: Jack struggles to make his kids share his values…

18. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Use formal language in this paper; avoid cliches, colloquialisms, slang. • When Karen moves in with her boyfriend, Jack is one unhappy camper. • Jack is a DIY kind of person. • Wayne is jacked up.

19. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Proofread carefully for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. • Commas: A “splice” occurs when you have two complete sentences (independent clauses) in one sentence that are joined only by a comma. • You fix this by replacing the comma with a semi-colon; keeping the comma but adding a conjunction after it; or forming two sentences. • Equally egregious is joining two complete sentences with only a conjunction; you must have the comma-conjunction combo.

20. Character analysis: Jack Arnold • Also, after every writing assignment we have done, I have reminded you that commas and periods go inside quotation marks. • And yet I still see them outside of quotation marks. • In the name of human decency, I ask, “Why?”