Chapter 4

1. Chapter 4 Emotions, Stress and Human Relations

2. Research on Emotions • Ignored emotion, preferred rational thought • Amygdala is linked to fear and anger • Positive emotions, left hemisphere; negative emotions, right hemisphere • Brain chemicals affect emotions • Facial expressions affect emotions

3. Thoughts Influence Emotions • Activating Event • Cognitive Appraisal • Self-talk

4. Irrational Beliefs • Catastrophizing – making it worse than it is (Bad omen?) • Overgeneralization – Will it always be this way? (always or never) • Or just often? • The myth of causation. • Albert Ellis – ABC model • A=activating event; C=consequent emotion; B=intervening beliefs/thoughts • Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? • Letting the pot boil (over).

5. Irrational Beliefs • The need for approval • Everyone must like me • Leads to compromise • Compromise leads to confusion/cognitive dissonance • The tyranny of shoulds • Just world hypothesis • If we try to live right, we should be blessed or rewarded. • People get what they deserve • Blaming the victim

6. Irrational Beliefs • Perfectionism • I should be able to handle this. • Don’t get help. • Don’t accept yourself. • Myth of helplessness. • I can’t do anything about the situation.

7. Addressing Irrational Beliefs • Self-talk • Cognitive therapy

8. Sadness: Are you depressed? • Are you physically tired for no reason? • Do you feel worthless? • Do you feel hopeless? • Have you lost interest in activities? • Have you lost interest in people? • Have your eating or sleeping habits changed? • Can you think clearly? Or do you feel “foggy”?

9. What causes sadness & depression? • Life events (loss, grief) • Depressive realism • Pessimistic thought patterns • Physical exhaustion • Depression is contagious • Guilt • Unforgiveness, grudges

10. What to do about sadness. • Cognitively appraise the problem • Treat yourself • Exercise • Socialize • Laugh, find something funny • Distract, read a good book • Accomplish something • Small chore • Help someone else • If non of these are working, or you can’t make yourself do them, get help.

11. Anger • Anger is an emotion. • Aggression is a behavior.

12. Direct Expression of Anger • Constructive • Count to 10 • Do not ambush • Choose your battles • Destructive • Physical aggression • Verbal aggression, e.g., name-calling • Relational aggression, e.g., gossip,slander

13. Indirect Expression of Anger • Destructive • Getting drunk, doing drugs • Tearing up property • Displacement • Catharsis (letting off steam) does not work very well • Constructive • Exercise • Relaxation • Psychological Detachment (The situation, but not your reaction, may be out of your control.) • Cognitive restructuring )accentuate the positive) • Prayer and meditation

14. Express Your Anger • Do express your anger. • Unexpressed anger does not go away. • Over time it will build up and cause trouble. • Special cases. • Anger with yourself. • Anger with God.

15. Happiness • What is it and what factors are related to it?

16. Subjective Well-Being • self-perceived happiness or satisfaction with life • used along with measures of objective well-being • physical and economic indicators to evaluate people’s quality of life

17. Does money buy happiness? $20,000 $19,000 $18,000 $17,000 $16,000 $15,000 $14,000 $13,000 $12,000 $11,000 $10,000 $9,000 $8,000 $7,000 $6,000 $5,000 $4,000 Average per-person after-tax income in 1995 dollars 100% 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% 10% 0% Percentage describing themselves as very happy Personal income Percentage very happy 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 Year Experiencing Emotion

18. Experiencing Emotion • Feel-good, do-good phenomenon • people’s tendency to be helpful when already in a good mood

19. 0.6 0.4 0.2 0.0 -0.2 -0.4 Importance scores Money Love 1.00 2.00 3.00 4.00 5.00 6.00 7.00 Life satisfaction Experiencing Emotion • Values and life satisfaction

20. Experiencing Emotion • Adaptation-Level Phenomenon • tendency to form judgments relative to a “neutral” level • brightness of lights • volume of sound • level of income • defined by our prior experience • Relative Deprivation • perception that one is worse off relative to those with whom one compares oneself

21. Experiencing Emotion However, Happiness Seems Not Much Related to Other Factors, Such as Age Gender (women are more often depressed, but also more often joyful) Education levels Parenthood (having children or not) Physical attractiveness Researchers Have Found That Happy People Tend to Have high self-esteem (in individualistic countries) Be optimistic, outgoing, and agreeable Have close friendships or a satisfying marriage Have work and leisure that engage their skills Have a meaningful religious faith Sleep well and exercise

22. Other Factors Affecting Happiness • Perceived personal control • Set and achieve realistic goals • Optimism • Genetics? • Left hemisphere, frontal lobe • Easy temperament

23. How to be happier • Keep busy with challenging, but manageable tasks • Count your blessings • Find good relationships, social networks • Look on the bright side • Exercise (regularly) • Laugh!