Forging a Family of Friends

1. Forging a Family of Friends

2. Calgary Families

3. Five Increasing Trends • More lone parent families • More single dads • More common law couples • More same sex couples • More and more young adult children (20-29) at home

4. Crisis Response 2010 – 6636 calls per month Over 200 calls per day in Calgary!

5. Positive outcome Predictors

6. Ephesians 6:1-4 • Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this right. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that is may go well with you and that you enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

7. Goal of Parenting • To disciple children into fully independent adults, who love and serve God, and with whom we have a friendship.

8. Phases of Parenting • 1. Discipline Years – ages 0-5 • 2. Training Years – ages 6-12 • 3. Coaching Years – ages 13-17 • 4. Friendship Years – ages 18+

9. Phases of Parenting • 1. Discipline Years – ages 0-5 • Key danger - inconsistency • 2. Training Years – ages 6-12 • Key danger – trying to be friends too early • 3. Coaching Years – ages 13-17 • Key danger – Discipline that embitters • 4. Friendship Years – ages 18+ • Key danger – controlling instead of letting go

10. Ephesians 6:1 • Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this right.

11. Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline

12. Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline • 3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: • Disobedience (Defiance)

13. Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline • 3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: • Disobedience (Defiance) • Dishonesty

14. Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline • 3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: • Disobedience (Defiance) • Dishonesty • Disrespect

15. The positives

16. Ephesians 6:2,3 • “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that is may go well with you and that you enjoy long life on the earth.”

17. Big Questions ? ? ?

18. The Promises Happiness

19. The Promises Unity

20. The Promises Enjoy long life

21. Wally and the horse

24. Ephesians 6:4 • Fathers, do not exasperate your children;

25. What exasperates children? Unrealistic expectations

26. What exasperates children? Unrealistic expectations Criticism

27. What exasperates children? Unrealistic expectations Criticism Excessive, unclear, or inconsistent rules

28. What exasperates children? Unrealistic expectations Criticism Excessive, unclear, or inconsistent rules Being treated as less mature than you are

29. Ephesians 6:4 • Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

30. How can parents effectively train their children?

31. How can parents effectively train their children? Modeling

32. How can parents effectively train their children? 2. Clear, realistic expectations with clear consequences

33. How can parents effectively train their children? 3. Compassionate discipline

34. The importance of a dad

35. How can parents effectively train their children? 4. Using influence

36. How can parents effectively train their children? 5. Aspire to excellence

37. Parenting has great rewards Best Parent