Interpersonal Dynamics

1. Interpersonal Dynamics Chapter 8

2. Some Questions • What types of communication define what an interpersonal relationship is? • How does communication affect satisfaction in relationships? • How are patterns of communication formed and changed and how do they affect relationships?

3. Interaction Theory • The Pragmatics of Human Communication (1967) by Paul Watzlawick, Janet Beavin, and Don Jackson. • This book introduced Interaction Theory to the field of communication.

4. Interaction Theory • Older models of communication analyzed specific aspects of a communicator, but Interaction Theory stressed the importance of how communication occurs within a context.

5. Interaction Theory • Interaction Theory derives its theoretical roots from General Systems Theory, developed by the Viennese biologist, Ludwig von Bertalanffy. • “Life forms are organized wholes that seek to sustain themselves” (162). • “Organisms function and continue to exist as a result of organized, dynamic interaction among parts” (162).

6. Interaction Theory • Interaction theorists seized upon the Systems Theory approach in order to explain relational communication. • “Most concisely defined, a communication system is a group of interrelated and interacting parts that function as a whole” (163).

7. Interaction Theory • Some axioms of Interaction Theory: • All parts are interrelated. • “If you change any part of a system, you change the entire system” (163). • Systems are organized wholes. • “We cannot understand any part of a system in isolation from the other interrelated parts” (163).

8. Interaction Theory • Some axioms of Interaction Theory: • The whole is more than the sum of its parts. • Interaction among parts within a system create other factors that come to define that system as unique from the parts that compose it. • “Systems include not only their original parts but also interaction among those interrelated parts and what is created as a result of the interaction” (165). • Systems can be relatively Open or Closed.

9. Interaction Theory • Some axioms of Interaction Theory: • Systems try to achieve homeostasis. • “Change is inevitable and continuous. Sometimes it’s abrupt; at other times it’s gradual. Sometimes change comes from outside a system; in other cases it arises within the system. To maintain function and to meet the system’s objective of survival, members of the system, like the sponge, must continuously adjust and change” (165).

10. Interaction Theory • Dynamic Equilibrium: The process by which systems change in order to maintain their integrity.

11. Interaction Theory • Levels of meaning within a relationship. • Content Meaning: The actual signs (words, gestures, etc.) used to communicate. • Relationship Meaning: The subtext of the content meaning that defines the relationship between communicators. • “Whatever content we express, we simultaneously communicate how we see ourselves, the other, and our relationship” (167).

12. Interaction Theory • Punctuation • In terms of CMM theory, punctuation might be thought of as the definition of when “episodes” begin and end. • “In writing, we use periods to define where sentences begin and end. In much the same way, we punctuate interaction by designating when episodes start and stop” (168).

13. Interaction Theory • Punctuation • Demand/Withdraw or Pursuer-Distancer patterns are the result of each communicator within the relationship defining episodes differently (e.g. pursuer says the other has withdrawn first and distancer says the other has pursued first). • “Each person perceives the other’s actions as the cause, and each sees his or her behaviors as a response” (169).

14. Interaction Theory • Relationships and Power • Symmetrical Relationships: Reflect equal power. • Complementary Relationships: Reflect different levels of power. • Parallel Relationships: Overall power is equal, but primary control is divided between partners based on domain.

15. Dialectical Theory • “Stated most simply, this theory asserts that in any relationship there are inherent tensions between contradictory impulses, or dialectics” (173).

16. Dialectical Theory • “The central idea of a dialectic is not the contradictory impulses but rather the tension between them. Thus dialectical theorists would be less interested in individual desires for independence and dependence than in the friction generated by the contradiction between the two impulses” (173).

17. Dialectical Theory • Dialectical Moments: “Temporary periods of equilibrium between opposing dialectics in the larger pattern of continuous change that marks relationships” (174).

18. Dialectical Theory • Contradiction and Process • Contradiction: “Tensions between people promote communication, which links them. He believed that the communication prompted by dialectical tensions allows partners to grow individually and together. […] Each impulse need the contradictory one” (174).

19. Dialectical Theory • Contradiction and Process • Process: “Viewing dialectics as in process means that we understand they are ongoing, always in motion, forever changing. Dialectics are not static balances between contradictory impulses. Instead, they are fluid relationships that continuously evolve” (175).

20. Dialectical Theory • Relational Dialectics (Internal Vs. External Form) • Integration/Separation: The conflict between integration and autonomy (internal) and the conflict between wanting a public vs. private relationship (external).

21. Dialectical Theory • Relational Dialectics (Internal Vs. External Form) • Stability/Change: The conflict between a comfortable routine and the desire for new experiences (internal) and the conflict between a unique vs. conformist relationship (external).

22. Dialectical Theory • Relational Dialectics (Internal Vs. External Form) • Expression/Privacy: The conflict between self-disclosure and maintaining privacy (internal) and revealing vs. concealing the relationship (external). • Why do we want to self-disclose? • Why do we want to maintain privacy? • Is total openness or total privacy harmful to a relationship?

23. Dialectical Theory • Responses to Dialectics • Selection: Privileging one desire and suppressing the other. • Separation: Meeting both desires based on context. • Neutralization: Meeting both desires, but not completely. • Reframing: Redefining the context of opposing desires so they are no longer at odds. Energizing a need through its opposite.