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Family Life Certification. Module 6 Marriage Strengthening. 10 married couples. Tolerate. Divorce. Happy & fulfilled. 3 important C’s in a marriage. ommitment ommunication andlelight & kisses. C. C. C. A DEFINITION OF LOVE. Love is a principle a commitment
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Family Life Certification Module 6 Marriage Strengthening
10 married couples Tolerate Divorce Happy & fulfilled
3 important C’s in a marriage • ommitment • ommunication • andlelight & kisses C C C
A DEFINITION OF LOVE • Love is • a principle • a commitment • an unconditional commitment • a covenant between two people
Love is always there; irregardless of feelings • Love is a decision: two people decide • To make marriage an absolute commitment • To communicate that commitment OFTEN
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."Genesis 2:18 NIV
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.Gen 2:20-22NIV
THE SECOND “C” COMMUNICATION
At the heart of marriage is its communication system (Dwight Small)
Communication is a skill • Not taught but caught at home • Not taught in school/university • Yet is vital to a relationship, especially to marriage • Does not just happen; has to be learned
#1 Source of Frustration for Wives husbands do not communicate or listen to them
Levels of Communication • Cliché • Reporting the facts • My ideas/judgments/opinions • My feelings/emotions • Complete emotional, deep and personal truthful communication
THE THIRD “C” • Candlelight and Kisses
Most common source of depression in marriage Absence of romantic love!
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,‘ for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.Gen 2:23-25 NIV
Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one.Matthew 19:4-6 NIV
Cultivating Romantic Love • Planning • Priorities • If you don’t choose to be romantic, and then plan to be romantic, you probably won’t be romantic
T I M E Love =
Time—a rare commodity • Parents don’t have time for children • Husbands and wives don’t have time for each other • Korean couples spend only 2 minutes communicating per day • Quality time vs quantity time
5 Vitamins of Love • Attention • Bear hugs/touches each morning and evening • Compliments throughout the day • Discipline to learn how to fill each other with love • Encouragement
“Everyday we’re poured a cupful of time. You either drink yours or spill it on the floor.” -- Ron D. Barbaro
Cultivating Romantic Love • Proper rest
Prayer in your Marriage • Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is the secret of spiritual power. No other means of grace can be substituted and the health of the soul be preserved. Prayer brings the heart into immediate contact with the Wellspring of Life, and strengthens the … muscle of the religious experience. Neglect the exercise of prayer, or engage in prayer spasmodically, now and then, as convenient, and you lose your hold on God. GW 254-255
Our Past & Forgiveness • Like it or not, we are stuck with our past. The only tyranny of the past is forgiveness. In order to forgive we must first surrender our right to get even. Without forgiveness your anger will turn to resentment and eventually hatred for each other.
The Stages in Forgiving Healing Hating Hurting
Facts about Forgiveness • We tend to forgive slowly • We tend to forgive with others who forgive. • We forgive as we are forgiven
Review: Share one point you learned with the rest of the group about strengthening a marriage.
I’ve told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.John 15:11, 12 NIV
Ask in my name, according to my will and God will most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be like a river, overflowing its banks!John 16:24 (Message Bible)