A CHILD’S SELF CONCEPT

A CHILD’S SELF CONCEPT

What do you want for your child? • List 2 characteristics you want your child to have, goals for them, or values to teach them • Why is this important to have? • How do you plan to provide it for them? • NO NAMES on the paper

THE AVERAGE CHILD I don’t cause teachers trouble. My grades have been O.K. I listen in my classes. And I’m in school every day. My parents think I’m average. My teachers think so, too. I wish I didn’t know that, ‘Cause there’s lots I’d like to do. I’d like to build a rocket- I’ve a book that show you how- Or start a stamp collection. Well, no use in trying now. ‘Cause since I’ve found I’m average, I’m just smart enough, you see, To know there’s nothing special That I should expect of me. I’m part of that majority, That hump part of the bell, Who spends his life unnoticed In an average kind of hell.

What do you want for your child?Be careful what your message portrays. • What was this child missing or not being given? • How did it affect him? • Labels can be so destructive. • Children and adults , classrooms, in homes, and on the street will prove the label true and the children will believe it. • A “shy” child will see no reason not to be shy; a “stupid” child certainly can’t be smart; a “clumsy” child will continue to fall over his own feet; a “gifted” child will usually excel. • Listen to our own words. We must help every child reach his or her fullest potential. • Why is it so important to build up a child instead of tear them down?

Match • Children become what they are told they are. • Responsive to children's’ needs. • Indifferent to children, ignore them • Reject their children • Critical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children. • Warm, understanding and accepting. • Hostile and antisocial • Poor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers. • Compliant with parent’s wishes • Happy and friendly • Dissatisfied with themselves.

Matching Key • Responsive to children's’ needs. • Indifferent to children, ignore them • Reject their children • Critical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children. • Warm, understanding and accepting. • Hostile and antisocial • Poor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers. • Compliant with parent’s wishes • Happy and friendly • Dissatisfied with themselves.

Analyze and Discuss How each style will affect the child's… • Self-Concept • Decision making ability • Relationship with peers • Relationship with family

Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom • Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control. • Misconduct is punished • Affection and praise are rarely give • Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes • They value unquestioned obedience • Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.

Outcomes of Authoritarian Style • Obedient • Distrustful • Discontent • Withdrawn • Unhappy • Hostile • Not High Achievers • Often Rebel • Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a choice about a particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do or say.

Permissive: Freedom without limits. • Parents allow their children to do their own thing. • Little respect for order and routine. • Parents make few demands on children. • Impatience is hidden. • Discipline is lax • Parents are resources rather than standard makers • Rarely punish • Non controlling, non-demanding • Usually warm • Children walk all over the parents

Outcome of Permissive Parenting • Aggressive • Least self-reliant • Least self-control • Least exploratory • Most unhappy • Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

Democratic: Freedom within limits • Parents set limits and enforce the rules • Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all • Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions. • Provides both love and limits • Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions • Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it. • Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities. • Loving, consistent, demanding • Combine control with encouragement • Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

Outcomes of Democratic Style • Happy • Most self-reliant • Most self-control • Content, friendly, generous • Cooperative • High-achiever’ • Less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquent • Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success • Parenting Style SCENARIOS

Building a Child’s Self -Esteem Ways to help your child develop and maintain their self-esteem. “VERY GOOD” JENGA Group

Provide more successes than failures for the child. Plan successes. If they have more failures than successes, back up to where success is achieved, and then move ahead gradually. Help the child perceive him/herself as successful. Provide practice to improve skills.

Give them freedom to fail with acceptance. As long as there are more successes than failures, children learn to not let a few failures get them down. A child who is over-protected and not allowed to fail will learn to try only if success is guaranteed.

Give lots of encouragement. Recognize the effort and improvement, not just the final accomplishment. “I know you can do it” “You handled that really well” “You will make it next time” Show appreciation. “Thanks, you were a big help”

Give unconditional love. Let child know that even if you do not approve of their behavior, you still love them. Accept children as they are, not as they could be. Respect your child. Show them how much you care about them.

Allow independence. Let them do things for themselves. Let them work through a problem. Give them choices as early as possible.

Eliminate the negative. Tell children what they can do, not what they cannot do. Catch them doing something good more often than what they are doing wrong.

Do not set standards unreasonably high. They don’t have to be 100% all the time. Know their abilities and work within those abilities. Children are not miniature adults. Do not over-estimate their maturity.

Avoid ridicule. Be careful of nicknames. Do not make fun of them, especially in front of others.

Allow exploration and encourage questions. Let them explore their environment. Give them a chance to see cause and effect, such as what happens when a rock is dropped in water. . .

Set limits. Set limits, it gives them security.

Help your child develop their talents. Every child needs to feel that they are good at something. Give them encouragement and opportunities to try new things. Encourage their talents, not the ones you wish they had.

Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously. Do not belittle them by saying things like, “That is nothing to cry over”, or “You’ll get over it”.

Be a good role model. Improve your own self-image. Let your children see that you value yourself. Let your children see you make mistakes, learn from them, and try again.

Give your children responsibility. Give them chores that are appropriate for their age. Give them family jobs so that they feel valued and important to the family.

Be available. Give them support when they need it. Spend time together. Work, talk and share activities together. Scenarios

A CHILD’S SELF CONCEPT