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Starting. Workshop 1. Objective:. Be able to come up with a ‘hook’ to start your writing. A hook?. How does this hook the reader? " It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen .”
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Starting Workshop 1
Objective: • Be able to come up with a ‘hook’ to start your writing
A hook? • How does this hook the reader? • "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” • This is the opening line of George Orwell’s 1984. Immediately the reader realises things are different.
How about this? • "Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"
‘Trainspotting’ by Irvine Welsh • It is long winded. • Repetitive. • Sharp. Honest. Confronting. • It seems to provide answers and then asks questions. • It is brilliant. • Leunig would probably love most of it
Too much? • They are professional writers and that was something they probably slaved over. • And it was worth it. • What you need to do is read and see what works.
Two expository examples • All of our reality is subjective. Our reality and beliefs are influenced by the people we know. If we talk to more people who are different to us then we can have a better subjective reality. • As a child I heard many warnings from teachers about the perils of talking to strangers. Yet now, fairly late in my life, I can think of few things better than talking to strangers. The idea of being a stranger is also very appealing.
An OK example All of our reality is subjective. Our reality and beliefs are influenced by the people we know. If we talk to more people who are different to us then we can have a better subjective reality. • Not very interesting. It just tells the reader facts (though there is no evidence). • Even though it uses inclusive language it doesn’t feel relatable. • Bit repetitive in the vocab. • No real voice or emotion.
A great example As a child I heard many warnings from teachers about the perils of talking to strangers. Yet now, fairly late in my life, I can think of few things better than talking to strangers. The idea of being a stranger is also very appealing. • The first line is memorable and relatable for anyone who remembers ‘stranger danger’ at school. • The key word is deliberately repeated. The word has connotations that create a unique image in the reader’s mind. • It has a warm, comforting voice. I want to listen to what else they have to say.
Here’s one of yours… Our reality cannot be categorised in one singular chunk as it is after all, an accumilation of many different views, opinions, beliefs and other people’s realities. This is because it is difficult, near impossible for ones reality to be completely independent and self constructed. On account of our family, friends and to most extents the media, as they are all factors that can shift our reality to a more accepted one. We are torn between good and bad and the fear of what people may think of us if we run a red light. A person’s decision to obey the road rules is one determined by the expectations of others, which they will share the road with. Because let’s face it, if you run a red light, you’re going to get a fine. Therefore, we allow social pressures to determine our reality in some respect in order to fit in and not get a fine.
Problems. • The red light anecdote isn’t bad, but I’m bored before I get to it. • Lots of sentences go for a while. • It keeps talking at me, “you”, which I don’t really like (and goes against convention in an expository piece).
Opportunities. • The red light bit isn’t bad! • The voice and tone is natural. • So how can we give it a hook?
With a quote? • Quote is from google. Wagner’s job is from wikipedia. Conversational style. • Repeats the ideas in the quote and links them to the prompt. • Ends the intro by linking back to the prompt. I once heard screenwriter Jane Wagner confess that, “Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.” I tend to believe her. It difficult and near impossible to be completely independent of social pressure. On account of our family, friends and to most extents the media, as they are all factors that can shift our reality to a more accepted one. The stress they put on us can be unbearable. The problem is most of our decisions are made for us. We are torn between good and bad and the fear of what people may think of us if we run a red light. A person’s decision to obey the road rules is one determined by the expectations of others, which they will share the road with. Because let’s face it, if you run a red light, you’re going to get a fine. For many of us it is easier to avoid the stress and just comply with the social pressure, regardless of the reality we find ourselves in.
With an anecdote? • Opening is a relatable anecdote. • Asks a question that then links to the prompt • Varies sentence length • Exposition and explanation of the example. Keeps the same tone as the start. Waiting at another bloody stop light, I can’t help but feel lost amongst the sea of red in front of me. I could well be here for mere minutes – but anything that delays me can feel like forever. Why then do I stop? I feel pressured by the stop light to make sure I put safety above personal convenience. We are torn between good and bad. The fear of what people may think of us if we run a red light. My decision to obey the road rules is one determined by the expectations of others, some of whom will share the road with. Because let’s face it, if Irun a red light, I’mgoing to get a fine. Therefore, a red light is one waywe allow social pressures to determine our reality in some respect in order to fit in and not get a fine.
It is possible! As I head home into the sea of read lights I flick on the radio and, once again, Pink Floyd is singing what I’m thinking. Why am I “Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day”? Stuck here, forced to go to a job I hate for a boss I don’t like. I could well be here for mere minutes – but anything that delays me can feel like forever. Why then do I stop? I feel pressured by the stop light to make sure I put safety above personal convenience. It difficult and near impossible to be completely independent of social pressure. On account of our family, friends and to most extents the media, as they are all factors that can shift our reality to a more accepted one.
Your turn • Take your intro and give it a hook. (left hand column) • Choose an approach. • Quote • Anecdote • Both • In the right hand column explain your decisions in dot points (as I have been doing)