Photo Finish - Filling the Empty Nest

1. Jesus the Living Water John 4:13 Photo Finish - Filling the Empty Nest

2. Live by God’s Spirit Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up into eternal life.” John 4:13 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25 “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35b Be a Giver!

3. Afraid of Not Finishing Well? • Many of us are struggling at this stage of life • A new stage in life with less focus on our kids • Last few years in the church shook us up • Not sure what our spiritual focus should be (our lives used to be much more orchestrated for us by church leadership) • Concerns about our aging parents • Kids returning to the nest because of economy • Can my life really make a difference? • Haven’t been in a study in a while • I’m not someone who people come to for advice • You haven’t been discipled effectively for years • Considering retirement • Can I afford to retire financially? • What will retirement look like? • Is this the beginning of the end?

4. After the Kids Have Left Home • Change always comes with challenges and opportunities • “It’s time to start living for me now.” • “Let the younger generation take over; I put in my time. I’m done!” • Make a choice: self-seeking or fruit of the Spirit To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. Romans 2:7-8

5. Act Your Age: Go on to Maturity • Adjust to this stage of your life • Grow! You either grow or shrink • Engage! The church needs your experience, knowledge, and wisdom

6. Adjust Some Adjustments • Parents needing help • Parents with Alzheimer's • New children-in-law • Grandchildren • Vacations and holidays • Financial issues • Health issues, insurance • Possible retirement • Spouse adjusting to your being home • You are not alone • Ask for help • Strengthen your relationships

7. Adjust People Are Living Longer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy

8. Adjust Life Expectancy in the U.S. http://aging.senate.gov/crs/aging1.pdf

9. Adjust Alzheimer’s Disease • 10% of those over 65 have Alzheimer’s • 50% of those over 85 have Alzheimer’s • Because people are living longer, a greater number of people are living with Alzheimer’s • This means that, if you and your spouse’s parents all live past 85, your chances are 94% probability of at least one parent 69% probability of at least two parents 31% probability of at least three parents and 6% probability of all four parentsgetting Alzheimer’s disease • We need to prepare ourselves to help with and help make decisions for our parents

10. Adjust Options for Alzheimer’s Care • Care in their own home • Requires caregivers doing shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning,taking care of finances • Eventually requires round-the-clock supervision • Eventually requires help with toileting and “accidents” • Can hire caregivers, which can be expensive • Care in your home • Same work as above • Emotionally draining • Alzheimer’s or Memory Facility • For otherwise healthy persons • Can be a pleasant, stimulating environment • You and others can visit your parent as you decide • Expenses run $60K/year and up • Nursing Home • For patients with physical and/or mental problems • Hospital-like environment

11. Adjust What to Do Now about Health Issues • If you will have assets between $200K and $2M, get long-term care insurance for yourself. The best age is around 55 to 60. Later, premiums go up too high, or you may fail the physical. • Make sure the following gets done for both your parents and for yourself: • Health-Care Directive • Power of Attorney (if you can trust someone) • Wills and/or Trusts (especially surviving spouse) • Join the Funeral Alliance (saves a bundle on funerals) • See an elder attorney. You will likely learn something that will save a significant amount of money

12. Adjust What About Retirement? • Adjust your attitude about retirement • Don’t retire: Rewire! • Most people fail retirementfor other than financial reasons • Prepare for retiring from your present job by planning to replace relationships, sense of achievement, and other “drivers” that working at your company now provides • Figure out your drivers and your strengths • Start in on your new “job” before you retire

13. Adjust What Are Your “Drivers”? • Accomplishments • Being Part of the Action • Being an Authority Figure • Belonging • Competition • Creativity • Being Current or “In” • Having New Experiences • Friendships • Fulfillment • Having Global Opportunities • Having Goals • An Identity • Intellectual Stimulation • Leadership • Lifelong Learning • Making a Difference • Mentoring • Pursuing a Passion • Exposure to People • Power • Prestige • Being a Problem-Solver • Recognition • Self-Esteem • Developing Skills and Talent • Social Connections • Structure • Value • Visibility

14. What Are Your Gifts? For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. Romans 12:3 • Strength-Finder 2.0 book and on-line assessment • Talk with your discipleship partner • Ask your spouse

15. Adjust Are You Giving Up Life by Working? • Caveats: • Data not recent • Supposedly typical of large corporations • Some web posts have challenged this data Lose 10 years http://faculty.kfupm.edu.sa/coe/gutub/english_misc/retire1.htm

16. Adjust How to Avoid the Boeing Statistics • Perhaps those who worked longer tended to have no life outside of work. Jesus has given you a cause that is worth living a lifetime for. • Job stress typically increases with age and responsibility. With increasing age, our bodies are less forgiving of stress. Learn to handle stress God’s way.Matthew 6:25-34, James 5:13 • Those working longer may have neglected exercise and health issues. Take care of God’s temple.I Timothy 4:8, I Corinthians 3:16-17

17. Adjust Adjust Your Vision! • Your vision is the thing that stirs your emotions, gets you going; it’s what you live for • Vision that gets you going can come from a combination of 1. The needs you feel strongly about 2. Your gifts, skills, and resources For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. Matt hew 6:21-22

18. Grow Grow or Die Green. New growth. Healthy Potocarpus! Dry and dying. Notice: No growth. County agent: “After looking healthy for years, the tree declines and dies, because its roots stop growing outward and instead strangle the plant.”

19. Grow Are We Really Jesus’ Disciples? • What sins have you allowed to continue in your life? • Financial irresponsibility, materialism • Marriage relationship failing due to lack of attention • Internet obsessions (gaming, pornography, too much time) • Unresolved relationship issues, unforgiveness • Letting your body go to pot, eating to relieve stress • Get discipled (Matt. 28:20 “teach them to obey”) • Being open takes humility and courage • You are one of the few people who does not see how un-dealt-with sin is holding you back • You have to go after it!

20. This versus This Grow Grow Spiritually • It’s time to step up and be fruitful • Major ways to be a light to the world: • Our relationships in the church • Our marriages • Our kids

21. Grow Grow Spiritually You can make a difference by … • Your personal example. Work on your marriage!And help the younger crowd with theirs. How many years have I been asking you to do better at that? Yeah. It’s just not something I think about. I’ll need help. Do not neglect marriage seminars or other resources that the church offers. Formation, not just Information

22. Grow Grow Spiritually You can make a difference by … 2. Teaching/discipling younger Christians in practical child-rearing skills, including regularly getting baby-sitters for dates so that their marriages can stay healthy. “We can figure out life using the internet or talking with our peers.” This is a big problem today!

23. Grow Grow Spiritually You can make a difference by … 3. Working to make your FG/BTs/House-Church to truly be examples of one-another Christianity • Every disciple in the FG has living one-another relationship(s) • There is communication among the disciples through the week • The FG does something together several times a month outside of congregational or regional meetings The reality of our one-another relationships is the one thing that has made our congregation stand out as a light among the many lifeless “churches” made up of “Sunday-only Christians.”

24. Grow The Older Need to Teach the Younger In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again …. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:12-14 Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned. Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case – things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:7-10

25. Grow Never Stop We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:11-12

26. Egage Engage New Opportunities • New freedom • How will we use it?

27. Egage Have Paul’s Attitude I then, as Paul – an old man and now a prisoner of Christ Jesus . . . [Philemon 9] • Forget the past and look to the future • I press on . . . straining toward what is ahead • Every mature disciple should have this view Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 3:12-15]

28. Egage Have Caleb ‘s Attitude “Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” [Joshua 14:10-12] Why has God kept you alive? Are you in good health and still vigorous? Do you have the heart to do battle? Who inspires you?

29. Egage Have the Spirit of an Initiator! Passive Reactor Initiator • Waits for things to happen • Reacts to leadership of others • Inert unless someone else discovers them • Waits to be asked • Sees needs and takes action to do something about it • Causes something to happen • Inventor, originator, designer • Coordinates his efforts

30. Egage An Initiator . . . • Sees the needs • Takes initiative • Coordinates with leadership

31. Egage Some Ideas for Kingdom Building Evangelism • Studying the Bible with people • Preaching or assisting small outlying congregations • Practicing hospitality • Leading follow-up studies with new Christians • Go to strengthen foreign or stateside mission congregations • Lead or be a member of team to establish new congregations where there are none

32. Egage More Ideas Teaching • Develop a class on a subject on which you have convictions • Teach/mentor a potential leader how to teach, lead a discussion group, etc. • Develop life skills classes • Financial freedom • Parenting • Marriage • Good dating practices • Kingdom Kids, marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, singles ministry • Teach parents how to have family devotions

33. Egage More Ideas Initiate Special Projects • Lead an empty nester ministry • Organize a banquet, retreat, etc. • Organize an honoring event (honor the elders, evangelists, others who have been exemplary in serving) • Special needs projects: • Widows • Single mothers • Parents whose children have left the church • HOPE projects

34. Egage Even More Ideas Benevolence • Serve as a benevolence coordinator (for those seeking help from the church) • Hospital and “shut-in” visitation • Financial counseling • Projects for the poor in our local congregations This is just to get your thinking started.Are there others that come to mind?

35. Egage “Last seen, they were still climbing.”