Engaging the Power of Dads: A National Federation of Families Roundtable Discussion

1. Engaging the Power of Dads:A National Federation of Families Roundtable Discussion Earl Kelly, Parent Involvement Coordinator Jerry Roach, Fatherhood Group Joseph Turner, Family Coordinator Brad Norman LCSW, Family Partnership Institute Gerry Rodriguez Ph.D., EMQ Families First Frank Rider MS, National Federation of Families

2. Our Mission: We do whatever it takes to: Help children Strengthen families Build community And advocate for systems change To ensure that our families thrive. With 1500 employees, we provide innovative and effective mental health, wraparound, and foster care services and supports to over 18,000 children and family members per year in 32 California counties.

3. A Note About Fathers…. • Fathers include biological and adoptive dads, stepfathers and legal guardians. When we need to make a more precise point about one of these kinds of fathers, we will explain it more specifically. • Social Father: A man who is “like a father” to children. He is either a relative or an unrelated male who provides support for children other than his own. Relative social fathers include grandfathers, uncles, cousins or older brothers. A non-relative social father can include a stepfather, adoptive father, foster-father, fictive kin (non-biological uncle, grandfather, big brother, etc.), or male friend of either biological parent.

4. Facts About Father Involvement • Studies have found that: • 63% of black children, 35% of Hispanic children and 28% of white children do not live with their biological father s • In 1997, 65% of poor children did not live with their biological fathers, compared to 25% of children who were not poor • 20% of all non-resident fathers are believed to earn less than $6,000 a year. [From: Father Facts, National Fatherhood Initiative (2007)]

5. Facts about Father Involvement in Systems of Care Per August 2009 National Evaluation Summary: • 17% Live with Both Bio Parents • 36% Live with Bio Mother Only • 03% Live with Bio Father Only • 16% Live with Bio Mother and Her Partner • 02% Live with Bio Father and His Partner • 11% Live with Grandparents or Other Relatives • 05% Live with Adoptive Families • 03% Live with Foster Families Source: Kurt Moore, WRMA – Phase IV & V Communities

6. Where Are the Dads? “Today, half of all children, and 80% of African American children, can expect to spend at least part of their childhood living apart from their fathers.” – Nock & Einolf, 2008 • Single/Unwed Mothers (34% of births today) • Separation, Divorce, Abandonment • Military Service • Incarceration • Away: Business, Immigration Status • Death, etc.

7. Consequences of Father Absence • Children with unmarried parents are three times more likely to be living below the poverty line • A child with a biological mother and her unmarried partner have the highest odds of being below the poverty line • Thirty-eight percent of the children in this living arrangement are poor. Source: Kreider, R M and Fields, J (2005). Living Arrangements of Children: 2001. Current Population Studies, P70-104. Table 2. Washington DC: US Census Bureau.

8. Children with Involved, Loving Dads Do Better Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to: • Do well in school • Have healthy self-esteem • Exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior • Avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy and delinquent activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. • Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not. Source: National Fatherhood Initiative’s (NFI) Father Facts

9. When Fathers Are Present… They Often Feel Marginalized and Disempowered by the System: Per August 2009 National Evaluation Summary, Fathers less likely than Mothers to report: • “I felt free to do what I wanted for my child’s treatment,” • “I chose to get treatment for my child,” • “It was my idea to get treatment for my child,” • “I had a lot of control over whether my child got treatment.” Source: Kurt Moore, WRMA – Phase IV & V Communities of the Children’s Mental Health Initiative

10. Fathers Are Marginalized by Systems • Cultural patterns and beliefs • Pre-natal focus on mothers, daytime appts. • Pediatric focus on mothers, daytime appts. • Preschool focus on mothers, daytime activities • Education system • Child Welfare system: maternal relatives • Mental Health system: child focus (identified patient), mother often represents both parents.

11. That Is A Real Shame, because: • Dads care about their children and families deeply. • They want their families to see them as a safety valve. • Dads like to be the fixers, and prefer to be empowered to fix. • While all of these things are true, it is also true that Dads come in all styles.

12. Information Resources Include: • Fatherhood Initiative www.fatherhood.org/ • Family Partnership Institute, EMQ FamiliesFirst www.emq-fpi.org • National Federation of Families – www.ffcmh.org • Federal Health and Human Services Agency - http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/ • Technical Assistance Partnership – www.tapartnership.org

13. Connecting • Stand up, find a partner, stand face to face • You will each have 30 seconds • Challenges to locating fathers in your work with families and children • Challenges to engaging fathers in your work with families and children • Strategies that have been successful • Benefits of engaging fathers • Back to my seat.

14. Two Dads’ Stories

15. The Turner Family Joe and Lynn, Barack (Booboo Dede), Trysten (Bo diston), Joniyah (Bookie Tookie)

16. What does Trysten Say His Dad Does for the Family? • Dad pays the bills, dad tells us what we can and cannot buy. • Dad makes the family laugh. • Dad helps me with my social skills by telling me what is right and what is wrong. • Dad helps me with my homework by getting a calculator and checking my answers on math homework. • Made me a better person by teaching me to be successful. • Dad makes me listen to him (he gives me the look). • Dad plays with Barack and Joniyah. • Dad helps mom not to yell, and calms mom down when she gets upset. • Dad plays catch with me. • Dad coaches my football team.

17. What Does Lynn Say Dad Does for the Family? Provides structure and stability. Provides encouragement. Helps us to look at the here and now during tough times . Loves and protects Helps the family find coping skills and ways to manage mental health. Ask questions to assist in problem solving

18. Why It Is Important to Include Fathers in Systems of Care: • They love their children, are integral to their families and communities. • They can be part of the solutions needed to address families’ challenges. • They are undervalued by systems at present. • They bring rich perspectives to systems that have largely focused on the mothers and female caregivers. • When fathers are involved, data shows better outcomes for their children. • Since the majority of enrolled children in Systems of Care are male, inclusion of male caregivers is especially critical. • Building Systems of Care is hard work, and we need everyone involved.

19. “Father’s/Dad’s Time” in the Circle of HOPE SOC • Peer to peer support for fathers • Educate and inform the system of care about the needs of fathers. • Find out from dads what would help them to be more involved in the MH services of their children. • Support and empower the male’s role in both the system and in the family. Dad’s needs are very different from the needs of mothers.

20. Involving Fathers in Their Children’s Services: • Work around Dad’s work, when you can. • Consult with Dads in advance, if they can’t be there. • Fill in fathers on what they miss, and reach out to use their ideas anyway. • Individualize, diversify, tailor and trim. • Discover and account for fathers’ strengths, needs, and their key cultural considerations. 

21. If Absent, Where Are They? • Unknown? • Out of the country? • Haven’t been involved for a long time, lack contact information • Deemed “undesirable influence” • Court Orders prohibit parent/child contact • Avoiding arrest: back child support, etc. • Incarcerated.

22. Particular Engagement Challenges: • Military Service • Cultural Considerations • Child Welfare and Justice Systems • Incarcerated Parents • Teen Fathers.

23. Military Service • Preparing for, Coping during Deployment (Specialized Training of Military Families – a.k.a. STOMP - http://www.stompproject.org/) • Reintegration Challenges - and how they effect engagement of parent in child’s treatment (Zero to Three – key topic: military families - http://www.zerotothree.org).

24. Cultural Considerations • Be familiar with cultural conceptions of health and mental health • Integrate traditional health and healing practices • Hire and support bilingual/bicultural service providers • Use home visits and other “natural” places of contact (e.g. barber shop, church) • Immigration/refugee status – family fragmentation and fragility

25. Child Welfare and Justice Systems • Solicit partnership with social worker and/or Probation Officer to initiate contact with dad and dad’s extended family • Share information and effective strategies that will support their involvement.

26. Incarcerated Fathers • Show video • Assumptions about incarcerated mothers and fathers • Assumptions about the extended family members of incarcerated fathers • How difficult is it to locate incarcerated fathers? Not at all • Who will initiate contact?.

27. Father Search & Engagement • Check the files, especially earliest ones • Ask the child • Internet searching • Find one relative, you can find most • Average American child has 150-300 living relatives • Should loss of access to father equal loss of his entire side of the family?.

28. Range of Connections • Information about the family history and extended family members • Phone contact, texting, email • Visits, shared activities • Permanent adult connection • Potential placement with father or father’s family.

29. Strategies for Engagement • Understand professional and personal biases • Set program expectations to engage fathers consistently and persistently • Father-friendly environment—Assessment Tool • Communicate differently • Activities specifically for fathers and sons, fathers and daughters • Recognize and address cultural issues related to fatherhood.

30. Teenaged Fathers • Reach out to both families to support each other for the baby’s benefit • Include (invite, encourage, and support) teen dads in all programming for teen moms • Expect success, acknowledge challenges, and don’t give up!

31. Involving Fathers in Shaping the System – Part 1 • Recruit fathers for influential, decision-making positions. • Actively seek out fathers… • Individualize outreach to fathers. • Use methods that involve more doing than talking. • Go where the fathers are (houses of worship, barbershops). • Male to male outreach, engagement, partnering. • Outreach that is inviting, non-judgmental , de-stigmatizing. • Fathers have feelings, too. • Speak with and to fathers -- not about or over them.

32. Involving Fathers in Shaping the System – Part 2 • Create father-friendly programs. • Focus on action. • Develop father-centered activities. • Deploy fathers as leaders and recruiters of other men. • Join up with other community activities focussed on fathers. • Teach staff about the “culture of fathers.” • Help fathers learn about: • social-emotional development of children, • practical parenting skills, and • the essential contributions of fathers to their children’s development.

33. Involving Fathers in Systems of Care – Part 3 • Training/coaching/mentoring geared for fathers, by fathers (including unique populations: teen fathers, traditional Somali fathers), • Encourage fathers’ mentoring of children. • Include fathers in family support groups, family leadership teams. • Don’t let your paperwork betray you! It must speak about and include fathers in information and plans. • Retention of involved fathers is imperative! • Link with local, state and national fatherhood initiatives.

34. Be Part of the Solution: Agency/Staff Assessment Tool • Leadership and Organizational Philosophy • Parent-involvement Program • Program Physical Environment • Staff Training and Professional Development • Collaboration and Organizational Networking • Community Outreach.

35. Be Part of the Solution: Join Our Fatherhood Initiative Cultural Competency Action Team of the Technical Assistance Partnership for Child and Family Mental Health Monthly toll-free 1-hour conference calls: • 2nd Thursday every month • 3 PM ET/ 2 PM CT/ 1 PM MT / Noon PT • Call in at 888-742-8686, then passcode 1335263#.

36. Unleash the Power of Dads! • Earl Kelly - ekelly@emqff.org • Brad Norman - bnorman@emqff.org • Frank Rider – frider@ffcmh.org • Jerry Roach – Roachless1967@yahoo.com • Gerry Rodriguez - grodriguez@emqff.org • Joe Turner – josephturner@circleofhopesoc.org