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As parents we need to view the influence we have on our sons as an opportunity as well as an obligation. The Road Map. 1.a map showing roads especially for travel 2.a detailed plan to guide progress toward a goal. The Three Roads. The Education Road.
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As parents we need to view the influence we have on our sons as an opportunity as well as an obligation.
The Road Map 1.a map showing roads especially for travel 2.a detailed plan to guide progress toward a goal
The Education Road • 14% of 18 to 24 year old males are H.S drop outs • 37% of 12th grade boys score below basic levels on standardized writing tests. Boys score worse on reading tests across all ages • 4.7% is the annual drop out rate for H.S. boys, up from 4.1 in 1990. The rates are virtually identical for white and black boys • 35% of 15 to 17 year old boys are below the grade level common for their age, compared to 26% for girls • 42 men for 58 women go to college, undergrad and grad • Boys receive 70% of D and F grades • Boys cause 80% of classroom behavioral problems • Boys represent 80% of children diagnosed with behavioral problems • Boys represent up to 80% of the children on Ritalin and other medicines used to treat ADHD
Learning and the Boy, sign posts along the road Boys: • don’t hear as well as girls do • tend to overestimate their abilities • develop language skills later than girls do • develop fine motor skills later than girls do • brains go into rest state many times a day • learn best in “master-apprentice” relationships • develop spatial memory earlier than girls • are kinesthetic learners
Helping our Boys to Learn,,,and Love itA compass for the road • Physical connection between the male body and the brain • Read to preschool boys…A LOT • Connect Home and School • Make Time Trades • Create a personalized work space • Create a “surprise list” • Introdduceyour boy to male role models “Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds.” Plato
The Social and Cultural Road • 5 times as many 15 to 24 year old boys commit suicide as girls • 16% of school-age boys have been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD or a learning disability—twice the rate of girls • 2 times as many 18 to 29 year old males abuse alcohol as females the same age • 16% is the decline in male voting rates in presidential elections since 1964, more than twice the drop for females. In 2004, 56% of men voted, compared to 60% of women • 95% of state and federal prisoners under the age of 25 are male
The Media Road • More males on TV, but most are portrayed as negative stereotypes • Fathers are often portrayed as simpletons or buffoons • Women are sexualized and masculinity is often equated to more money, more sex and more violence • Internet • Video games and violence
What to Expect on the Road • The fear of violence • Star Wars, Pirates and Legos • Ready, Set…Race • All boys deserve a pair of light-up shoes There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure” Mark Twain
The Boy Code—living a myth and taking the wrong Road • Do not cry • Do not cower, tremble or shrink from danger • Do not ask for help when you are unsure of yourself • Do not reach for comfort or reassurance • Do not sing or cry for joy • Do not hug your dearest friend • Do not use words to show tenderness and love
Guiding on boys along the Road…10 tips“Someone says that boys will be boys, he forgot to add, Boys will be men”- Napoleon Bonaparte. • Know your Boy. His strengths, his dreams and his weaknesses • Respect his uniqueness and be patient with him—help him discover himself and love him as he is • Get physical with him-remember, boys were made for the outdoors • Establish rules-boundaries are essential • Don’t shame him • Break the “Boy Code”
10 tips continued • Get involved in his school-make learning fun and valuable • Listen to your boy-when you value your boy for his true self, you give him confidence to use his talents in the world • Teach him to be virtuous- he strives for integrity and self-control, cornerstones for manhood • You
Secret Surprise Tip Number 11“Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys” • Boys NEED men in their lives!
Reading List • Real Boys. William Pollack • The Wonder of Boys. Michael Gurian • Boys Should be Boys. Dr. Meg Meeker • The Trouble with Boys, A Surprise Report card on our boys… Peg Tyre • Boys Adrift. Dr. Leonard Sax