Personal Statements

Personal Statements Writing Winning Papers

What’s it about? • It’s always all about you! • So make your experiences work for you. • Make your story memorable. • Make it come alive to that anonymous reader. • Let him see your past, present, and future.

You Need Two Types of Essay • A general personal statement about your background and your goals. • An essay about a topic that is important or interesting to you-- your inspirations, your greatest value, your consuming interest.

General Personal Statement This encompasses past, present, & future. • Background, which has made you • Who you are now, leading to • Who and what you hope to become

Readers want to know • That you are resilient, i.e. you can face difficulty and overcome obstacles to success • That you are able to adapt to new environments and challenges • That you are disciplined, yet curious • That you want to give back in some way

Organizing • Background 40% • You right now: school, grades, awards, etc. 20% • The future: goals, dreams, plans, etc. 40%

First Steps Write a compelling beginning • Use a powerful quotation that means something to you • Or reflect on a difficulty you face or an idea you find interesting • Or describe a person, an experience or an incident that is important to you

A Quotation • Martin Luther King Jr. once said “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and inconvenience, but where he stands at time of challenge and controversy.” When I was a little kid, I always thought that life was going to be easy; however, my impression was different as the time passed. I have faced many obstacles and challenges since I started my education. But every time they appeared in front of me, I would do my best to break them and not be afraid of them.

A Challenge • Growing up, I have ever walked in the shadow of my older brother. I am a quality swimmer, but my brother had always been better. Because of this, I have always had to work my hardest to achieve what came naturally to my brother. Even in school, it seemed that he performed better than I did. With his natural talents shining through at every turn, I decided to push myself to give my best and surpass him.

A Reflection • Growing up in a Mexican household yet living in an American world was very tough. The culture from my family has been passed down to me and it flows through my blood as it does with everyone else in my family. On the inside I am a full blooded Mexican, and I am proud to be that and wouldn't change it for anything. But on the outside, I am a typical American teen who does everything that American teens do like play football and watch television. Family is very important to me because without them I don't know if I would be the same person that I am today.

Idea or Inspiration • A community is a group of people that have agreed to live in an area and share their lives. The community of people will grow and experience things as a whole. This will only happen for a while, because a "Community cannot for long feed on itself, it can only flourish with the coming from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brother.” Because growing means that you have experienced many things in life whether they are happy or horrible moments. These experiences can only be witnessed when someone new enters the party, and it's not just the same old people all the time.

Organize • Think about the most logical order for your ideas. You can try: • Past, present, future • Present, past, future • Future, past, present, future again.

Choosing Details • Keep the details vivid and powerful. • Don’t use too many words. • Stay within about two pages typed. • 500 to 800 words • Avoid unnecessary repetition • Make every word count

Powerful words • During my early childhood, I lived in Oaxaca, Mexico with my parents. While living there I learned the true meaning of poverty. It is living in a shack made of sticks and boards with dirt floors next to a field littered with trash and the bodies of dead dogs.

Just say it! Don’t overthink. Write from the heart. • “Yet many of my classmates would make fun of me and even tell me to go back to Mexico. I was so sad during those early days of education, but I proposed myself a new goal, and that was to give all of my effort to my education. Meanwhile, I spend my time studying much harder; as a result, I noticed that I went even further from where my eyes had seen.”

Your goals, Your dreams • This may be the most important part. • The readers want to see: • That you have a clear set of goals • That you are building your future on your present behaviors • That you can adapt to challenges and persevere

Building on the Present • I fight for the rights of students who are now not able fund a higher education due to the law that passed this year, regarding undocumented students here in Arizona to pay out of state tuition for college, making it impossible for a higher education on students with low income families. I have recently worked with a group of students in Metro Tech High School to win a grant to inform others of the DREAM Act, an act that will help undocumented students have a chance to pursue a higher education.

For the Future • I have been accepted to Arizona State University and plan to major is in Concrete Industry Management, not only because of personal interest, but because it will give me an opportunity to help others. By working in such a field, I will be able to network with major companies that can assist me in building homes for people in need. I also plan to open a center where Hispanic families who wish to learn English can come and learn how to speak and write the United States native language, in a manner where they are able to communicate with others.

Big Dreams • Make yours come alive: • “My goal is to one day become an Accountant and in order to obtain such goal I must attend college and university. Unfortunately, I am a low-income person where my parents can not afford my educational career. Therefore, I lift up my hand to ask for help, I have my goals set. I just need the financial support. Because I know that I will not let my helper down I will keep trying until I get what I want. I also know where I am heading and I also know how to take advantage of all the career opportunities. Many laws have been approved by Congress so students like me don’t get to receive scholarships; however, I have a light of hope.”

Concluding • Conclusions in a personal statement should be, of course, intensely personal. • They should leave the reader thinking about you. • They are your last chance to impress. • Finish with a bang!

Extending on the Lead In addition, Martin L. King also said, “I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” Perhaps Martin L. King also meant to say that challenges will never go away, but keep in mind that without the obstacles, there wouldn’t be anything to fight for in this life. Martin L. King fought to end segregation against African Americans and it was a fight with no violence. Likewise, I fight for my education and career goals. I treat this country as my home and I would like to be treated as a good example in the eyes of society. Becoming an outstanding and high-performing student is not easy but this nation has inspired me to be what I am now.

Conclude with your big dream . I hope that one day I will be able to build a structure that will be remembered by everyone. A building that I can go back to and proudly tell my grandchildren that I built that. With the skills that I am learning in school I hope to one day own my construction company. With my bilingual skills I will be able to communicate with my workers and with contractors who want me to do their building. Math and Science are really important in this triad and I know that with the education I am receiving at school that my dream can come true.

Connect to the main idea My brother’s talents have given me reasonable envy because I have always had to work harder than he did. So far, I have succeeded in achieving higher marks in nearly every class that my brother and I have taken. Looking back, perseverance and hard work has taken me far, but I will never stop in hopes of achieving the ambitions I have made and have yet to formulate. No matter what gets in my way, I will face it head-on like a rampaging bull. Whether it is in the pool, academic performance, or an everyday occurrence, I put myself into it 100 percent.

Writing Tips • Write a draft (or 2 or 3) of each section. • Revise and edit each before combining the sections • Read it aloud to others • Make it perfect

We can’t say it enough! • No matter what the prompt is, it’s all about you. • Revise, revise, revise • Edit, Edit, Edit, Proofread. Make it perfect. • Always look to the promise of the future, whatever your past is. • Never come across as “poor little me.”

Personal Statements