Diane Phimister October 2014

1. Initial findings and emergent recurrent themes of a phenomenological study exploring the lifespan experiences of relationships in mothers who have left adult abusive relationships. Diane PhimisterOctober 2014

2. Research aims: To explore: • The origins and development of relationship abuse. • Patterns and persistence of relationship abuse from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood. • Factors leading to the possible desistance of relationship abuse. • Exploration of the development of resilience.

3. Interpretative phenomenology Analysis – Children and young people and adulthood. Nature, response and impact. Reflexivity. Methodology: Understanding of the lived experience. Accessing and Identifying the sample 9 women – all survivors, all mothers. Their life experiences of relationships. TIME Semi-structured interviews Hermeneutic circle Emergent themes (findings) Super-ordinate themes – recurrent themes. Interpretation. Commitment and rigor. Analysis of pertinent literature and links to the women's voices . Bringing it all together.

4. ‘he used to beat my mum up’ Initial Findings (CYP): • Nature: • Over half witnessed domestic violence in the home: • Over half were victims of abuse in the home: • Over half (8/9)were neglected by their mother: • Over half (8/9)were emotionally abused by their mother: ‘we didn’t have stuff because mum was gambling all the money…’ ‘It was about her inappropriate ( sexual)behaviour towards me. Unnecessary medical examinations, all the time’.

5. Initial Findings (CYP): ‘I think we weren’t given a voice. We weren’t when I think about now, we weren’t allowed to express ourselves, or have any emotions’. • Response: • Maintaining silence: • Over half (8/9) did not tell anyone about what was going on in the home. • Over half engaged in ‘risky’ behaviours as children or young people: ‘I tried to commit suicide ‘I tried to commit suicide about fifteen times’ ( aged 14). ‘ Aged about 9, 10. And then there was gap, I suppose, ‘cause then I went to the all girls school and so I didn’t really know any boys, then, for a few years’.

6. Initial Findings (adult): • Nature – all suffered every form of abuse. • Response: all of the women maintained silence. • All of the women minimised or excused the abuse. • Leaving the relationship – myriad of reasons: discovery that the perpetrator had been unfaithful; increasing self-esteem through education; fear for self; fear for children. yeah. And no questions asked, keep your mouth shut. And I think, because of my dad, you learn to keep your mouth shut

7. Initial Findings (adult): • Impact: • All of the women suffered from anxiety and fear. • All of the women suffered from low self-esteem. • The majority of women had bonding issues with their own children. so she was probably a product of that and it was something I had to deal with throughout the pregnancy and after I had her, so it was quite difficult bonding with her

8. Emergent recurrent themes Children and Young Women: • Experience of abuse. • Abandonment and rejection. • Coping. • Enforced silence. • Emotional trauma. • Psychological consequences Mothers as survivors: • Experience of abuse. • Abandonment and rejection. • Coping. • Enforced silence. • Emotional trauma. • Psychological consequences • ‘Enough is enough’ – moving on.

9. What's love got to do with it? • What we know now: ( my interpretation) 'women who have been abused by their mothers and silenced as children suffer adult domestically abusive relationships in silence'. • Overwhelming sense of sadness that is almost tangible.

10. References: • Bifulco, A. Kwon, J. Jacobs, C et al ( 2006) Adult attachment style as mediator between childhood neglect/abuse and adult depression and anxiety. Soc Psych Epidemiolgy (2006) 41796-805; • Howe, D. (2005) Child abuse and neglect. Palgrave Macmillan. • Smith, J.A. Flowers, P. Larkin, M. ( 2009) Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis. Sage.