Emotional and Social Development in Middle Adulthood

1. Emotional and Social Development in Middle Adulthood Chapter 16 To page 553

2. Emotional and Social Development in Middle Adulthood • Midlife Development in the United States (MIDUS) • Major survey conducted in the mid-1990s • Has contributed enormously to the understanding of midlife emotional and social development • Has greatly expanded knowledge of the multidimensional and multidirectional nature of midlife change • Findings of this study will be referred to at certain times in this chapter

3. Erikson’s Theory: Generativity versus Stagnation • Erikson’s psychological conflict of midlife is generativity vs. stagnation – generativity involves reaching out to others in ways that give to and guide the next generation • Generativity begins early in adulthood and expands greatly in midlife • When commitment extends beyond oneself (identity) and one’s life partner (intimacy) to a larger group (family, community, or society) • Generative adults combine the need for self-expression with the need to integrate personal goals with the welfare of the larger social world • Parenting is a major means of realizing generativity • But adults can also be generative in other ways, such as through creativity • Erikson states that the term generativity encompasses everything generated that can outlive the self and ensure society’s continuity and improvement: children, ideas, products, works of art, etc. • Generativity brings together personal desires and cultural demands • Middle aged adults feel a need to make a contribution that will survive their death • Society imposes a social clock for generativity in midlife, requiring adults to take responsibility for the next generation as parents, teachers, and mentors

4. Erikson’s Theory: Generativity versus Stagnation • The negative outcome of midlife is stagnation • Which occurs when people attain certain life goals such as marriage, children, and career success, they may become self-centered and self-indulgent • Adults with a sense of stagnation express their self-absorption in many ways • Lack of interest in young people (including their own children), focus on what they can get from others rather than what they can give, and taking little interest in being productive at work, developing their talents, or bettering the world in other ways

5. Erikson’s Theory: Generativity versus Stagnation • Researchers have studied generativity in a variety of ways • Whichever method is used, the results show that generativity tends to increase in midlife and is a major unifying theme in middle-aged adults’ life stories • Characteristics of highly generative people: • They appear especially well-adjusted: low in anxiety and depression, high in autonomy, self-acceptance, and life satisfaction, more likely to have successful marriages and close friends • They are more open to differing viewpoints; possess leadership qualities; desire more from work than financial rewards; and care greatly about the welfare of their children, their partner, their aging parents, and the wider society • Generativity is associated with more effective child rearing • Higher valuing of trust, open communication, transmission of values to children, and authoritative parenting style • Generativity is also associated with greater involvement in political activities • Voting, campaigning, and contacting public officials

6. Erikson’s Theory: Generativity versus Stagnation • Individual differences do exist in different contexts for generativity • Having children seems to foster men’s generative development more than women’s • Perhaps parenting evokes men’s tender, caring attitudes toward the next generation that women have had opportunities to develop in other ways • For low-SES men with troubled pasts as sons, students, workers, and intimate partners, fatherhood can provide a context for highly generative, positive life change • Compared with Caucasians, African Americans more often engage in certain types of generativity • More involved in religious groups and activities, offer more social support to members of their community, and are more likely to view themselves are role models and sources of wisdom for their children • In samples of Caucasian Americans, religiosity and spirituality are also linked to greater generative activity

7. Other Theories of Psychosocial Development in Midlife: Levinson • Middle adulthood begins with a transitional period (age 40-45) during which people evaluate their success in meeting early adulthood goals • Realizing that from now on, more time will lie behind than ahead, they regard the remaining years as increasingly precious • Some people make drastic revisions in their life structure such as divorcing or changing careers • Most turn inward for a time, focusing on personally meaningful living • According to Levinson, middle-aged adults must confront 4 developmental tasks, each requiring them to reconcile 2 opposing tendencies and attain greater internal harmony • Young – old • Destruction – creation • Masculinity – femininity • Engagement - separateness

8. Other Theories of Psychosocial Development in Midlife: Levinson • Young – old: they must seek new ways of being both young and old • This means giving up certain youthful qualities, retaining and transforming others, and finding positive meaning in being older • Compared with previous midlife cohorts, baby boomers are especially interested in controlling physical changes of aging • Destruction – creation: they must counter destructive acts from the past with an urge to advance human welfare and leave a legacy for future generations • With greater awareness of mortality, they focus on ways they have acted destructively and how others have done the same, they then turn to activities that will foster human welfare • Masculinity – femininity – the must reconcile the masculine and feminine parts of the self • For men, this means greater acceptance of “feminine” traits of nurturance and caring • For women, it means being more open to “masculine” characteristics of autonomy and assertiveness • Engagement – separateness: they must create a balance between engagement with the external world and separateness from it • This may mean reducing concern with ambition and achievement and attending more fully to the self • But women who have been devoted to child rearing or an unfulfilling job often feel compelled to move in the other direction

9. Other Theories of Psychosocial Development in Midlife: Levinson • Adjusting one’s life structure to incorporate the effects of aging requires supportive social contexts • Employment conditions that overemphasize productivity and profit over the meaning of work may restrict possibilities for growth • Opportunities for advancement that ease the transition to middle adulthood are far less available to women than to men, and individuals in blue-collar jobs have few possibilities for promotion

10. Other Theories of Psychosocial Development in Midlife: Vaillant • Vaillant’s longitudinal research on well-educated men and women followed participants past age 50 • Into the time when adults typically take on peak responsibility for the functioning of society • The most successful and best adjusted entered a calmer, quieter time of life • Characterized by preoccupation with the survival of the positive aspects of their culture • In societies around the world, older people are guardians of traditions, laws, and cultural values • They serve as a stabilizing force that holds overly rapid change in check

11. Is There a Midlife Crisis? • Levinson reported that most people in his samples experienced substantial inner turmoil during the transition to middle adulthood • But Vaillant found slow and steady change, with few examples of “crisis” • Midlife crisis – self-doubt and stress especially great during the 40s that possibly prompt major restructuring of personality • Participants in the MIDUS study were asked to describe “turning points” that had occurred during the past 5 years • Most of the ones reported concerned work • Women’s work-related turning points peaked in early adulthood, when many adjusted their work lives to accommodate marriage and childrearing • The peak for men came at midlife, a time of increased career responsibility and advancement • Other common turning points in early and middle adulthood were positive: they involved fulfilling a dream and learning something good about oneself

12. Is There a Midlife Crisis? • When participants in the MIDUS study were asked directly if they had ever experienced something they would consider a midlife crisis • Only ¼ of respondents said yes • They defined such events much more loosely than researchers do • Some reported a crisis well before age 40, others well after age 50 • Most attributed it not to age but rather to challenging life events • Another way of exploring midlife questioning is to ask adults about life regrets • Attractive opportunities for career or other life-changing activities they did not pursue or lifestyle changes they did not make • In 2 investigations of women in their early 40s • Those who acknowledged regret without making life changes reported less favorable psychological well-being and poorer physical health over time, compared to those who modified their lives

13. Is There a Midlife Crisis? • By late midlife, with less time ahead to make life changes, people’s interpretation of regrets plays a major role in their well-being • Mature, content adults acknowledge a past characterized by some losses, have thought deeply about them, and feel stronger because of them • They are able to disengage from them, investing in current, personally rewarding goals • Among a sample of several hundred 60-65 year olds diverse in SES, about ½ expressed at least one regret • Those who had come to terms with them (accepted and identified some eventual benefits) or had “put the best face on things” (identified benefits but still had some lingering regret) reported better physical health and greater life satisfaction, than those who had not resolved their disappointments • The few midlifers who are in crisis typically have had early adulthoods • Gender roles, family pressures, or low income and poverty severely limited their ability to fulfill personal needs and goals, at home or in the wider world

14. Stage or Life Events Approach • Erikson, Levinson, and Vaillant all viewed the transition to middle adulthood as a “stage” • But, some researchers believe the midadult transition is not stagelike • Rather, they regard it as simply an adaptation to normative life events, such as children growing up, reaching the crest of a career, and impending retirement • Because midlife events are less age-graded than in the past stages of life and are also variable in timing, they cannot be the sole cause of midlife change • In several studies, people were asked to trace their thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and hopes during early and middle adulthood • Psychosocial change, in terms of personal disruption followed by reassessment, coincided with both family life cycle events and chronological age • For this reason, most experts regard adaptation during midlife as the combined result of growing older and social experiences

15. Stability and Change in Self-Concept and Personality • Midlife changes in self-concept and personality reflect growing awareness that the lifespan is limited, longer life experience, and generative concerns • Yet certain aspects of personality remain stable, revealing the persistence of individual differences established during earlier periods

16. Possible Selves • Possible selves – future-oriented representations of what one hopes to become and what one fears becoming • Possible selves are the temporal dimension of self-concept – what the individual is striving for and attempting to avoid • To lifespan researchers, these hopes and fears are just as vital in explaining behavior as people’s views of their current characteristics • Possible selves may be an important motivator of action in midlife, as more meaning becomes attached to time • As we age, we may rely less on social comparisons in judging our self-worth and more on temporal comparisons – how well we are doing in relation ho what we had planned • With age, possible selves become fewer in number and more modest and concrete • Most middle-aged people no longer desire to be the best r the most successful • Instead, they are largely concerned with performance of roles and responsibilities already begun – “being competent at work,” “being a good husband and father,” putting my children through college,” etc.

17. Possible Selves • Possible selves can be defined and refined by the individual as needed • In contrast, current self-concept is constantly responsive to others’ feedback • Consequently, possible selves permit affirmation of the self, even when things are not going well • Researchers believe that possible selves may be the key to continued well-being in adulthood • As people revise these future images to achieve a better match between desired and achieved goals

18. Self-Acceptance, Autonomy, and Environmental Mastery • Middle aged adults tend to offer more complex, integrated descriptions of themselves than do younger and older individuals • In research on well-educated adults ranging in age from the late teens to the 70s, 3 qualities increased from early to middle adulthood and then leveled off • Self-acceptance: more than young adults, middle-aged people acknowledged and accepted both their good and bad qualities and felt positively about themselves and life • Autonomy: middle-aged adults saw themselves as less concerned about others’ expectations and evaluations and more concerned with following self-chosen standards • Environmental mastery: middle-aged people saw themselves as capable of managing a complex array of tasks easily and effectively

19. Self-Acceptance, Autonomy, and Environmental Mastery • According to self-reports from 25-65 year old MIDUS survey respondents, factors contributing to psychological well-being differ substantially among cohorts • Among women who were born during the baby-boom years or later, and who thus benefited from the women’s movement, balancing career with family predicted greater self-acceptance and environmental mastery • Women born before or during WWII who sacrificed career to focus on child rearing – expected of young mothers in the 1950s-1960s – were similarly advantaged in self-acceptance • Baby-boom and younger men who modified their work schedules to make room for family responsibilities – who fit their cohort’s image of the “good father” – were more self-accepting • Older men who made this accommodation scored much lower in self-acceptance than those who focused on work and thus conformed to the “good provider” ideal of their times

20. Self-Acceptance, Autonomy, and Environmental Mastery • Notions of happiness in midlife vary among cultures • In a comparison of Korean adults in their 50s with same-age U.S. MIDUS participants • Koreans reported lower levels of psychological well-being • Largely because they were less willing than the Americans to endorse individualistic traits, such as self-acceptance and autonomy, as characteristic of themselves • Consistent with their collectivist orientation, Koreans’ highest well-being scores were on positive relations with others • They viewed personal fulfillment as achieved through family, especially the success of children • Americans also regarded family relations as relevant to well-being but placed greater emphasis on their own traits and accomplishments than on their children’s

21. Coping with Daily Stressors • Researchers have found an early- to mid-adulthood plateau in frequency of daily stressors • Followed by a decline as work and family responsibilities ease and leisure time increases

22. Coping with Daily Stressors • In a MIDUS study involving more than 1,000 participants • Women report more frequent role overload (conflict among employment, spouse, parent, and elder-care roles) and family-network and child-related stressors • Men report more work-related stressors • Compared with older people, young and midlife adults also perceived their stressors are more disruptive and unpleasant • Perhaps because they often experienced several at once, and many involved financial risks and children • Midlife brings an increase in effective coping strategies • Middle-aged individuals are more likely to identify the positive side of difficult situations, postpone action to permit evaluation of alternatives, anticipate and plan ways to handle future discomforts, and use humor to express ideas and feelings without offending others

23. Gender Identity • Many studies report an increase in “masculine” traits in women and “feminine” traits in men across middle age, in diverse cultures and varying SES • A biological explanation for greater androgyny in midlife is the parental imperative theory • It holds that identification with traditional gender roles is maintained during the active parenting years to help ensure the survival of children • Men become more goal-oriented, while women emphasize nurturance • After children reach adulthood, parents are free to express the “other-gender” side of their personalities

24. Gender Identity • But these biological accounts have been criticized • Parents need both warmth and assertiveness (in the form of firmness and consistency) to rear children effectively • Although children’s departure from the home is related to men’s openness to the “feminine” side of their personalities, the link to a rise in “masculine” traits among women is less apparent • In longitudinal research, college-educated women in the labor force became more independent by their early 40s, regardless of whether they had children; those who were homemakers did not • In one study, middle-aged women of the baby-boom generation – who experienced new career opportunities as a result of the women’s right movement – more often described themselves as having masculine and androgynous traits than did older women • People who do not integrate the masculine and feminine sides of their personalities tend to have mental health problems • Perhaps because they are unable to adapt flexibly to the challenges of aging

25. Individual Differences in Personality Traits • Stable individual differences in personality traits do exist • The hundreds of personality traits on which people differ have been organized into 5 basic factors • The “big five” personality traits: neuroticism, extroversion, openness to experience, and conscientiousness

26. Individual Differences in Personality Traits • In longitudinal and cross-sectional studies: • Agreeableness and conscientiousness increase from the teens through middle age • Neuroticism declines • Extroversion and openness to experience are stable or may decrease slightly • These changes reflect “settling down” and greater maturity • Similar trends have been identified in many other countries varying widely in cultural traditions including Canada, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, and South Korea • The consistency of these cross-cultural findings had led some researchers to conclude that adult personality change is genetically influenced • They note that individual differences in the “big five” traits are large and highly stable: • A person who scores high or low at one age is likely to do the same at another, over intervals ranging from 3-30 years

27. Individual Differences in Personality Traits • How can there be high stability in personality traits, yet significant changes in aspects of personality? • Theorists concerned with change in personality traits due to experience focus on how personal needs and life events induce new strategies and goals • In contrast, those who emphasize stability due to heredity measure personality traits on which individuals can easily be compared and that are present at any time of life • To resolve this apparent contradiction, we can think of adults as changing in overall organization and integration of personality • But doing so on a foundation of basic, enduring dispositions that support a coherent sense of self as people adapt to changing life circumstances • Improved self-understanding, self-acceptance, and skill at handling challenging situations may result in less need to modify basic personality dispositions over time

28. Relationships at Midlife • The emotional and social changes of midlife take place within a complex web of family relationships and friendships • The vast majority (90%) of middle-aged people live in families, most with a spouse, and tend to have a larger number of close relationships during midlife than at any other period • Partly because they have ties to older and younger generations in their families ad partly because their friendships are well-established • Middle adulthood is the phase of “launching children and moving on” • A declining birthrate and longer life expectancy mean that many contemporary parents launch children a decade or more before retirement, then seek other rewarding activities • Because this period has lengthened, it is marked by the greatest number of exits and entries of family members • As adult children leave home and marry, middle-aged people must adapt to new roles of parent-in-law and grandparent • At the same time, the must establish a different type of relationship with their aging parents, who may become ill or pass away

29. Marriage and Divorce • Marital satisfaction is a strong predictor of psychological well-being in midlife • Although most divorces, occur within 5-10 years of marriage, about 10% take place after 20 years or more • Midlifers seem to adapt more easily to divorce than younger people • Highly educated middle-aged adults are more likely to divorce, probably because their more comfortable economic circumstances make it easier to do so • For many women, marital breakup severely reduced standard of living and is a strong contributor to feminization of poverty • A trend in which women who support themselves or their families have become the majority of the adult population living in poverty, regardless of age and ethnic group

30. Marriage and Divorce • Reasons for divorce in middle age • Women frequently mention communication problems, inequality in the relationship, adultery, gradual distancing, substance abuse, physical and verbal abuse, or their own desire for autonomy • Men mention poor communication and sometimes admit that their “workaholic” lifestyle or emotional inattentiveness played a major role in their marital failure • Women are more likely than men to initiate divorce, and those who do fare somewhat better in psychological well-being • Men who initiate a split often already have another romantic involvement to turn to • Adjustment to divorce • Middle-aged women who weather divorce successfully tend to become more tolerant, comfortable with uncertainty, nonconforming, and self-reliant in personality • Both men and women reevaluate with they consider important in a healthy relationship, placing greater weight on equal friendship and less on passionate love • Little is known about long-term adjustment following divorce among middle-aged men, perhaps because most enter new relationships and remarry within a short time

31. Changing Parent-Child Relationships • Most middle-aged parents adjust well to the launching phase of the family life cycle, while only a minority have difficulty • Parents who have developed gratifying alternative activities typically welcome their children’s adult status • Adolescent and young adult children who are not showing expected signs of independence and accomplishment can prompt parental strain • Providing support to young adult children while they get their lives under way is related to midlife psychological well-being • Relationships with married children • When children marry, parents must enlarge the family network to include in-laws • Difficulties occur when parents do not approve of their child’s partner or when the young couple adopts a way of life inconsistent with the parents’ values • But, when warm relationships endure, intimacy between parents and children increases over the adult years • Members of the middle generation, especially mothers, usually take on the role of kinkeeper – gathering the family for celebrations and making sure everyone stays in touch

32. Grandparenthood • In America today, the average age of becoming a grandparent is 50 or a woman and 52 for a man • Longer life expectancy means that adults spend as much as 1/3 or more of their lifespan in the grandparent role • Meanings of Grandparenthood: Most people experience grandparenthood as a major milestone and mention one or more of these roles: • Valued elder: being perceived as a wise helpful person • Immortality through descendants: leaving behind not just one but two generations after death • Reinvolvement with personal past: being able to pass family history and values to a new generation • Indulgence: having fun with children without major child-rearing responsibilities

33. Grandparenthood: Grandparent-Grandchild Relationships • Living nearby is the strongest predictor of frequent, face-to-face interaction with young grandchildren • Typically, relationships are closer between grandparents and grandchildren of the same sex, especially between maternal grandmothers and granddaughters • Relationships depend in part on SES and ethnicity • In low-income families grandparents often perform essential activities (ex. Many single parents live with their families of origin and depend on grandparents’ financial and caregiving assistance) • Grandchildren in single-parent and stepparent families report engaging in more diverse, higher-quality activities with their grandparents • As children experience the stress of family transition, bonds with grandparents take on increasing importance • In some cultures, grandparents are absorbed into an extended-family household and become actively involved in child rearing

34. Recent Trends in Grandparenting • Increasingly, grandparents have stepped in as primary caregivers in the face of serious family problems • Nearly 2.4 million U.S. children – 4-5% of the child population – live with grandparents but apart from parents, this is called skipped-generation families • Grandparents who take full responsibility for young children experience considerable emotional and financial strain • They need much more assistance from community and government than is currently available • Because parents usually serve as gatekeepers of grandparents’ contact with grandchildren, relationships between grandparents and their children’s spouses strongly affect the closeness of grandparent-grandchild ties • A positive bone with a daughter-in-law seem particularly important in the relationship between grandparents and their son’s children • After a marital breakup, grandparents related to the custodial parent (typically the mother) have more frequent contact with grandchildren • A growing concern among grandparents – especially those on the noncustodial side – is maintaining relationships with grandchildren after parental divorce

35. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents • The percentage of middle-aged Americans with living parents has risen dramatically • From 10% in 1900 to 50% at the beginning of the 21st century • A longer life expectancy means that adult children and their parents are increasingly likely to grow old together

36. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents: Frequency & Quality of Contact • Fewer aging adults live with younger generations now than in the past because of a desire to be independent • Made possible by gains in health and financial security • About 2/3 of older adults in the U.S. live close to at least one of their children, which high frequency of contact through both visits and telephone calls • In middle age, adults tend to reassess relationships with their parents • Many adult children become more appreciative of their parents’ strengths and generosity and mention positive changes in the quality of the relationship, even after parents show physical declines • This is especially the case in mother-daughter relationships, which tend to be closer than other parent-child ties • Tensions of the adolescent years ease, many young-adult daughters and mothers build rewarding, intimate bonds • Daughters benefit greatly from maternal support, and many describe the relationship in “glowing” terms • In collectivist cultures (ex. China and Korea), older adults most often live with their married children, but this pattern is changing • Over the years, parent-to-child assistance declines, while child-to-parent aid increases

37. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents: Caring for Aging Parents • About 16% of the U.S. adult population provides unpaid care to an aging adult, and 25%-35% of those in the workforce report doing so • Sandwich generation – refers to the idea that middle-aged adults must care for multiple generations above and below them at the same time • A minority of middle-aged adults who care for elderly parents have children younger than age 18 at home, but many are providing assistance to young-adult children and to grandchildren • African-American, Asian-American, and Hispanic adults give aging parents more financial help and direct care than Caucasian-American adults do

38. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents: Caring for Aging Parents • In all ethnic groups, responsibility for providing care to aging parents falls more on daughters than on sons • Families turn to the person who seems most available – living nearby and with fewer commitments regarded as interfering with the ability to assist • In addition, parents prefer same-sex caregivers (aging mothers live longer), and daughters also feel more obligated than sons to care for aging parents • Although couples tend to provide more direct care for the wife’s parents, this bias is weaker in ethnic minority families and is nonexistent in Asian nations, where daughters-in-law are expected to care fore their husband’s parents • About 50% of North American women caregivers are employed and another 30% quit their jobs to provide care • Average time devoted to caregiving is 10-20 hours per week • But, although they do less than women, men do contribute • In one investigation, employed men spent and average of 7 ½ hours per week caring for parents or parents-in-law

39. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents: Caring for Aging Parents • The care sons and daughters provide tends to be divided along gender-role lines • Sons tend to do things like running errands and making household repairs • Daughters tend to provide more hands-on care like cooking, feeding, and bathing • In later middle age, the sex difference in parental care giving declines • Perhaps as men reduce their vocational commitments and feel less need to conform to a “masculine” gender role, they grow more able and willing to provide basic care • Parental caregiving can lead to role overload, high job absenteeism, exhaustion, inability to concentrate, feelings of hostility, anxiety about aging, and high rates of depression • Depression rates in middle-aged adults who care for their parents range from 30%-50%

40. Middle-Aged Children and Their Aging Parents: Caring for Aging Parents • Social support is highly effective in reducing caregiver stress • Despite having more time to care for an ill parent, women who quit work generally fare poorly, probably because of social isolation and financial strain • Positive experiences at work can actually reduce the stress of parental care • Unlike Denmark, Sweden, and Japan, where a government-sponsored home helper system eases the burden of parental care, in the U.S., in-home care by a nonfamily caregiver is too costly for most families • Only 10%-20% of U.S. middle aged adults arrange outside care for their parents • And, unless they must, few people want to place their parents in formal care, such as nursing homes, what are expensive also

41. Siblings • Sibling contact and support decline from early to middle adulthood • Rebounding only after age 70 for siblings living near one another • Despite reduced contact, many siblings feel closer in midlife often in response to major life events • Launching and marriage of children seem to prompt siblings to think more about one another • When a parent becomes seriously ill, siblings who previously had little to do with one another may communicate about parental care • When parents die, adult children realize they have become the oldest generation and must now look to one another to sustain family ties

42. Siblings • Sister-sister relationships are closer than sister-brother and brother-brother ties, in many industrialized nations • But a comparison of middle-aged men of the baby-boom generation with those of the preceding cohort showed warmer more expressive ties between baby-boom brothers • A contributing factor may be baby boomers’ more flexible gender-role attitudes • In industrialized nations, sibling relationships are voluntary, but in village societies they are generally involuntary and basic to family functioning • In village societies, cultural norms reduce sibling conflict, thereby ensuring family cooperation • In industrialized nations, promoting positive sibling interaction in childhood is vital for warm, supportive sibling bonds in later years

43. Friendships • At all ages, friendships between men are less intimate than those between women • Men tend to talk about sports, politics, and business • Women focus on feelings and life problems • Women report a greater number of close friends and say they both receive and provide their friends with more emotional support • Nevertheless, for both sexes, number of friends declines with age • Probably because people become less willing to invest in non-family ties unless they are very rewarding • Selectivity of friendships also increases with age • And with fewer close friendships, middle-aged adults try harder to get along with friends

44. Friendships • By midlife, family relationships and friendships support different aspects of psychological well-being • Family ties protect against serious threats and losses, offering security within a long-term timeframe • Friendships serve as current sources of pleasure and satisfaction, with women benefiting somewhat more than men • As middle-aged couples renew their sense of companionship, they may combine the best of family and friendship in their relationship with each other • Research indicates that viewing a spouse as a best friend contributes greatly to marital happiness