Negotiating in Daily Life

1. Negotiating in Daily Life Improving your Everyday Negotiation Skills

2. Negotiation Workshop Goals • Learn almost everything is negotiable • Help you overcome any fear of negotiation--increase confidence • Understand how to analyze a negotiation situation and apply the most appropriate tactics • Vastly improve your ability to negotiate effectively with anyone, anywhere!

3. Negotiation • Definition A process whereby two or more parties decide what each will give and take in a relationship

4. Debunking Negotiation Myths • Myth 1: There must be a winner & a loser • Myth 2: Appears to involve conflict • Myth 3: Negotiation is not an option • Myth 4: Only cheap, petty people haggle • Myth 5: A good negotiator is manipulative

5. Major Sins of Negotiating • Leaving money on the table • Settling for too little • Walking away from the table • Settling for terms that are worse than your alternative

7. Distributive vs. Integrative Negotiations Characteristic Distributive Integrative Relationship Short Term Long Term Outcome Win/Lose Win/Win Motivation Individual Gain Joint Gain Goals Opposed Congruent Issues Single Issue Multiple Issues

8. Integrative Skills Distributive Skills

9. Preparing for a Negotiation • Opening Offer - anchoring • Resistance Point - bottom line • Aspiration Point - goal • BATNA - power of alternative(s) • Issues & Interests - expands pie/attracts • Objective Criteria - power of information Note: Prior to Negotiating, research other party—values/ interests/ protocol

10. Telling the other what to do “You are unwilling…” “You are not looking at my side” “You are unfair…” Labeling the other person negatively “You need to…” “I think you…” “You should…” “It is better if you…” “I know you can…” Language Irritators

11. Appealing to a higher source “From a legal standpoint” “In the best interests of the organization” “This is how we have always done it” Labeling own behavior as superior “I’m being reasonable” “This is a good deal” “I know what I am doing” Language Irritators

12. Rude “Yes, but…” “In all due respect…” “That is besides the point” “I’m trying to make you understand” “This is good for you” “Honestly” “Obviously” “You always” “You never” Language Irritators

13. Exercise: The Used Car

14. Why Unbalanced Agreements • Different focus: RP, Aspiration or Target • More extreme starting position or anchoring point • Fewer or smaller concessions

15. Why People Don’t Make Agreements • Emotions • Unmet interests • Ego\Face Saving • Too much too fast • Too inflexible\Rigid demands • Resistance points set too high or don’t overlap

16. Used Car: Best Practices • Prepare! • Be aware anchoring effects • Use reciprocity • Avoid the “magic middle”, unless advantageous • Use silence and patience effectively • Make only principled concessions • Avoid language irritators • Use objective standards • End the negotiation positively

17. Getting Past ‘No’Working with Challenging People • Don’t React: Go to the Balcony • Don’t Argue: Step to Their Side • Don’t Reject: Reframe • Don’t Push: Build Them a Golden Bridge • Don’t Escalate: Use Power to Educate

18. Salary Negotiation: Best Practices • Know what want-prioritize and logroll • Conduct research to understand your worth • how it compares • what you will do if don’t get what you want • Know with whom to negotiate and what can be negotiated • Find the minimum, midpoint and maximum salary grades for the position • Think total compensation • Consider enlarging the shadow of the future

19. Salary Best Results • What until you have an offer to negotiate • allow employer to initiate discussion • be prepared to discuss salary at any time • Preserve the relationship • no ultimatums; appear accommodating; be concerned with their interests • ask questions when encountering resistance • Consider long term effects of your plan • Practice • Watch for signals • Get offer in writing

20. Salary: Things to Avoid • Personal needs or self-serving perks • Gamesmanship: one more thing or hard squeeze • Multi-company leveraging • Appearance of desperation • Lying, exaggeration or misleading • Quick decisions or countering too soon

21. Gender Differences in Negotiation Women: • set lower aspirations (especially in ambiguous situations) • perform better when negotiating for others than self • Avoid initiating negotiations (don’t ask)

22. FYI: Negotiation Protocol • Greetings • Discuss Common Ground • Share own interests and inquire of other • Share own and understand other’s priorities • Summarize and clarify; ask questions • Offer proposal/multiple proposals (equal value) • Allow other to ask questions; give break time for counter • Refocus on join goals and problem solve • Consider post settlement-settlement

23. FYI: Opening Offer • Make first offer if prepared (sets expectations and tone) • Back offer with solid rationale (avoid ranges) • Use silence (avoid counter-offering self) • Present offer AFTER having established the relationship and checked assumptions • Negate early or extreme proposals from the other party • Let other open for salary negotiation

24. Thank You Holly Schroth, Ph.D. Negotiation Trainer and Consultant Schroth@haas.berkeley.edu 925-980-3883