Safer Parenting

1. Safer Parenting “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.” -Maya Angelou

2. Safer • Safer Office: Building 65, UU 217 • Phone: (805) 756-2282  • Email: Safer@calpoly.edu • Anonymous text/email: calpoly@tipnow.org • Anonymous confidential drop box: Outside of office

3. What is sexual assault? • Sexual assault is any sexual act against another without their consent • Sexual assault includes rape, attempted rape, sexual harassment, sexual battery, and more

4. Why do we talk about sexual assault? • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men will be survivors of sexual assault by the time they graduate college • 95% of sexual assaults are committed by somebody the victim knows • The majority of sexual assault victims are between the ages of 14 and 25

5. Why do we talk about sexual assault? • Assault occurs everywhere, among all classes, genders and ethnicities • Occurs at Cal Poly • It’s important to know how to respond to a disclosure of your child

6. Healthy ways to communicate with your student • Ask “how are you doing?” • Stay Connected • Don’t avoid difficult conversations • Start now

7. If your student discloses to you • Start by believing • Be Knowledgeable About Campus Resources • Refer them, but let them make all the decisions • Check in regularly • Don’t let the assault define your child

8. Don’t Make Assumptions • Consent cannot be assumed just because you are in an official relationship with someone • Blaming the survivor • What they were wearing doesn’t make a difference • Rape is always the perpetrator’s decision • It is never the victim’s fault

9. Talk to Your Student About Consent • Don’t avoid talking about sex • Incorporating information about consent. • Build your child’s self-esteem • Encourage assertiveness • Assertiveness: openly expressing and pursuing your desires without limiting another’s freedom to pursue theirs • Challenge objectification

10. Tony Porter • http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men

11. Healthy Relationships • We’re just sharing this information because sexual assault can occur anywhere and to anyone • Most students who are assertive and know their boundaries will tend to have healthy relationships • It starts with you • You have the power, not the responsibility

12. Sexual Assault and Mental Health Victims of sexual assault are: • 3 times more likely to suffer from depression. • 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. • 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol. • 26 times more likely to abuse drugs. • 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. rainn.org

13. Ways to help your student • Assess for risk of self-harm, suicide or any behavior that is alarming or out of character • Listen nonjudgmentally to your student • Give reassurance and information about resources that can help them at Cal Poly • Encourage appropriate professional help, self-help and other support strategies

14. Counseling Resources • Cal Poly Counseling Services Phone: (805)-756-2511 • Rise Phone: (805)-226-5400 Sexual Assault/Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence Programs and Crisis-Counseling • It’s free

15. Safer • Safer Office: Building 65, UU 217 • Phone: (805) 756-2282  • Email: Safer@calpoly.edu • Anonymous text/email: calpoly@tipnow.org • Anonymous confidential drop box: Outside of office