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1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. parentmagic

Strengthening Your Relationship . Your Child's Self-Esteem: What is it really about?. Nobody agrees what it really isIn the United StatesOne dimensional ? warm and fuzzyUnchanging because it is based on inner self worthIf you believe in yourself lots of good things will happenInalienable right.

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1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. parentmagic

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    1. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. http://www.parentmagic.com/ Presented by: Stephanie Leek & Jennifer Tingley Power Point: Stephanie Leek

    2. Strengthening Your Relationship

    3. Your Child’s Self-Esteem: What is it really about? Nobody agrees what it really is In the United States One dimensional – warm and fuzzy Unchanging because it is based on inner self worth If you believe in yourself lots of good things will happen Inalienable right

    4. Self-Esteem It’s: Messy and erratic Effected by good and bad luck Competitive

    5. YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM Anything you do to improve your relationship will improve your child’s self esteem

    6. “Realistic and positive self-esteem is the by product of a well-lived life” Based upon: Social Competence Work Competence Physical Competence Character Competence

    7. 10 Steps/Thoughts about Self-Esteem

    8. GET REAL Most self-esteem will be determined by the big bad world Need fair internal judge

    9. PHILOSOPHY OF PARENTING Warm and demanding Turning the switch

    10. LET GO: AUTONOMY More and more as they get older Being physically separate from you Respect non-essential differences

    11. GOOD DISCIPLINE You should be able to name your discipline Helps kids feel safe

    12. POSITIVE REINFORCMENT Ratio of positive to negative feedback Remember to be real

    13. SHARED FUN People who have regular fun together like each other One on one versus family time

    14. AFFECTION Verbal or non-verbal Keep in mind that the level of comfort may change as your children grow older

    15. EXPERTISE BUILDING Find strengths in your child Encourage them if you can

    16. AVOID OVERPARENTING Definition: Giving direction/ supervision that is not needed Anxious parent – Angry Kid Lesson in crushing autonomy

    17. ACTIVE LISTENING A skill and an attitude Openers Nonjudgemental questions Reflecting feelings Perception Checks

    18. THE PAYOFF You can talk to your kids ? Remember your job: Warm and demanding Encouraging of independence

    19. How do you want to spend your time?

    20. Questions?

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