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Strengthening Your Relationship . Your Child's Self-Esteem: What is it really about?. Nobody agrees what it really isIn the United StatesOne dimensional ? warm and fuzzyUnchanging because it is based on inner self worthIf you believe in yourself lots of good things will happenInalienable right.
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1. 1-2-3 MagicEffective Discipline for Children 2-12Thomas Phelan, Ph.D.http://www.parentmagic.com/ Presented by:
Stephanie Leek & Jennifer Tingley
Power Point: Stephanie Leek
2. Strengthening Your Relationship
3. Your Child’s Self-Esteem:What is it really about? Nobody agrees what it really is
In the United States
One dimensional – warm and fuzzy
Unchanging because it is based on inner self worth
If you believe in yourself lots of good things will happen
Inalienable right
4. Self-Esteem It’s:
Messy and erratic
Effected by good and bad luck
Competitive
5. YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM Anything you do to improve your relationship will improve your child’s self esteem
6. “Realistic and positive self-esteem is the by product of a well-lived life” Based upon:
Social Competence
Work Competence
Physical Competence
Character Competence
7. 10 Steps/Thoughts about Self-Esteem
8. GET REAL Most self-esteem will be determined by the big bad world
Need fair internal judge
9. PHILOSOPHY OF PARENTING Warm and demanding
Turning the switch
10. LET GO: AUTONOMY More and more as they get older
Being physically separate from you
Respect non-essential differences
11. GOOD DISCIPLINE You should be able to name your discipline
Helps kids feel safe
12. POSITIVE REINFORCMENT Ratio of positive to negative feedback
Remember to be real
13. SHARED FUN People who have regular fun together like each other
One on one versus family time
14. AFFECTION Verbal or non-verbal
Keep in mind that the level of comfort may change as your children grow older
15. EXPERTISE BUILDING Find strengths in your child
Encourage them if you can
16. AVOID OVERPARENTING Definition: Giving direction/ supervision that is not needed
Anxious parent – Angry Kid
Lesson in crushing autonomy
17. ACTIVE LISTENING A skill and an attitude
Openers
Nonjudgemental questions
Reflecting feelings
Perception Checks
18. THE PAYOFF You can talk to your kids ?
Remember your job:
Warm and demanding
Encouraging of independence
19. How do you want to spend your time?
20. Questions?