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Developing a support system: making friends and reaching out to others

Developing a support system: making friends and reaching out to others. University Life Cafe. The challenge.

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Developing a support system: making friends and reaching out to others

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  1. Developing a support system: making friends and reaching out to others Developing a Support System University Life Cafe

  2. The challenge • Making friends today is different than it has ever been. People connect face-to-face over shared interests and at gatherings. They meet through friends, relatives and acquaintances. But they also meet over Internet connections and in online social spaces. • Research says that people spend less time socializing now and have fewer social connections. It requires a conscious effort to reach out to others in friendliness. Developing a Support System

  3. Where to meet friends • Restaurants and bars • Academic events • The library • Sports events • Social gatherings • Parties • Friends’ homes • The cafeteria • Student club meetings • Hobbyist groups • Study groups • Face-to-face or online classes • Movie events • The Greek system • In workplaces • Local clubs • Online social sites • Holiday events and gatherings Developing a Support System

  4. Getting to know others • Share information about yourself that you’re comfortable sharing. • Get to know others. • Invite others to join you to do things that you all enjoy. • Share a bite to eat at the local cafeteria or deli or coffee shop. • Take your time, and let relationships evolve naturally. Developing a Support System

  5. Defining a friend • Take your time figuring out what sorts of people you like to socialize with. • Be tolerant of differences and different personalities, but also be careful about those who may have ulterior motives. • Define your comfort zones about what you want to share with friends. Define what is personal, so be clear about your boundaries. • Select friends who want your highest and best. Developing a Support System

  6. Different types of friends • Students may have different types of friends—those with backgrounds in their chosen field, those who are “social” friends to participate in certain social events, those who may be “study buddies,” those from one’s hometown (or home country), and then maybe a closer circle of intimates. • Different trust levels may help define how far a friendship will go. Developing a Support System

  7. A supportive social life • The idea is to have a social life that is supportive. • A social life should enrich a life. • Friendships and relationships are about give-and-take, mutual learning and mutual support. Developing a Support System

  8. Avoiding toxic “friendships” • Friendships should involve give-and-take. It should not be mono-directional, with one person merely taking and the other merely giving. • Relationships should be healthy. They should not be coercive. • They should not be threatening. • Friendships cannot be built on deceptions because that corrodes trust. “Friends” that are misrepresentational or dishonest are high-risk. Developing a Support System

  9. Connection to counseling services • Counseling ServicesKansas State University232 English/Counseling Services BldgManhattan, KS 66506-6503785-532-6927counsel@k-state.edu Developing a Support System

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