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Chapter 11

Chapter 11. Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy. Novelty as Limited Resource. Novelty associated with excitement, arousal NEW things/partners interesting, fun 1 sts very exciting, 2 nds less exciting, 3 rds less… Habituation Limited number of novel sexual acts

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Chapter 11

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  1. Chapter 11 Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy

  2. Novelty as Limited Resource • Novelty associated with excitement, arousal • NEW things/partners interesting, fun • 1sts very exciting, 2nds less exciting, 3rds less… • Habituation • Limited number of novel sexual acts • Long-term relationships may lose novelty • Sexual passion may fade over time • Passion enhanced by new partners (affairs), behaviors

  3. Evidence: Sex & Long-Term Relationships • Negative relationship between years together & sexual f • Blumstein & Schwartz (1983) • ~50% newlyweds had sex 3/week, ~20% married 10 years had sex that often • Divorce & remarry -> rise in sexual f • Not just effect of aging • Similar decline for cohabitating couples

  4. Evidence • Pornography (Mann et al., 1974) • No porn 20% had sex, w/ porn 66% had sex • Response decreased each time they watched • Habituation • Period of avoidance can cause novelty rebound • So how are novelty & passion connected?

  5. Passion & Intimacy • Intimacy - cognitive • Knowledge, favorable attitude, affection • Passion - emotion & feelings of attraction • How are they related? • Tend to be +rd in surveys • Passion low in long-term relationships (LTR) • Intimacy high • Remarriage increases passion (intimacy low)

  6. Passion & Intimacy • Change in intimacy -> change in passion • As I rises P rises • P = C (dI/dt) • P = passion, I = intimacy, t = time, C = constant • Implies: As I stabilizes P decreases

  7. P = C (dI/dt)

  8. P = C (dI/dt) • Intimacy is a limited resource in LTR • I can only increase so much • After 20 years you know ALL there is to know • So P inevitably goes down because I is stable

  9. Evidence: P = C (dI/dt) • Fits patterns (low passion in LTR) • Why +r on surveys? • Positive evaluation (Halo effect) • Sampling bias • Gain/loss • Dislike-like > like-like • Extraverts become intimate fast • Have sex sooner, more often, & break up more

  10. Gender Differences: C • Males have larger C than females • P = C (dI/dt) • Function (of I-> P) steeper for males than females • Faster rate of passion rise/unit of intimacy

  11. Gender Differences: C • Males have larger C than females • More rapid passion w/ less intimacy • Communication problems • Friendliness misunderstood by men as come on • C (small intimacy input, large passion output) • Romantic nature of men • Men score higher on self-report • Fall in love & ready for sex faster • Unrequited love (rejected man most common)

  12. Class Data (N =103, Females = 71) • How fast do YOU fall in love? • 1 = very slowly 2 = average 3 = very fast MeanSDGender p • All 1.84 .61 • Male 1.62 .62 • Female 1.92 .59 .03 • Males more slowly than females!

  13. Group Activity V: Novelty in Long Term Relationships • Groups of 4-5 (mixed gender) discuss the following Qs • Summarize responses • Present to class • Please turn in at end of class

  14. Group Activity V: Novelty in Long Term Relationships • Given the loss of novelty & the maximization of intimacy in LTR, are we all doomed to experience passionless love in our LTR? • If so what do you think about this? What other benefits might a LTR accrue for us? Are they worth it or should we have a lifelong string of brief, passion-filled affairs?

  15. Conclusion • Passion fades as intimacy becomes stable • LTR inevitably show passion deficit • C is larger for men than women • Men build passion faster w/ less intimacy • Relationship implications • Start slow and go far

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