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Learn about anger management, resolving conflicts, and dealing with angry individuals. Explore healthy ways to handle anger, including active listening and conflict resolution techniques.
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Module 5/ Chapter 5 Managing Anger and Resolving Conflicts “Balancing your anger balances your life”
CHAPTER 5 OUTLINE • What is Anger? • Managing the Anger Within • Anger and Stress: The Connection • Dealing with an Angry Person • Transactional analysis • The time-out procedure • The “upset” philosophy • Active listening • Summary Points
Basic Terms • Anger: A normal emotion one normally encounters when presented with an obstacle or difficulty in accomplishing a desired goal in a desired way in a desired time frame. • Conflict: A situation involving anger between two or more people.
What Anger is… • An emotional response • A Warning signal • A way to new learning • A normal feeling • Healthy within limits • A protective mechanism • Useful within limits
What Anger is Not … • Not a problem solving tool • Not an outlet for revenge • Not projection • Not being violent • Not a way of control • Not healthy if it exceeds limits • Not useful if inappropriate
Managing The Anger Within: Unhealthy Ways • Denying:I don’t have this problem • Hiding:Not showing overt feelings • Repressing: Using it a later time • Suppressing: It is not a norm to be angry • Free expression: Venting out • Creative aggression (constructive anger):Expression in a controlled and dignified manner with the hope that others will listen • Unconditional Forgiveness:Often impractical and may result in harm in other forms
Managing The Anger Within: Best Healthy Way • According to Rational Emotive Therapy the BEST Healthy Way is by: • Showing annoyance and irritation
Managing Anger: The Eastern Way • Introspection: A self-analysis process exploring the reasons and motivations behind one’s own behaviors. • Apologizing & Determining to Rectify our contribution • Understanding that not everything can be changed, altered or fixed • Letting Go
Dealing with an Angry Person: Transactional Analysis • An interpersonal analysis technique based on assumption of three ego states, parent, adult, and child within each individual. • Best way to deal with an angry person is to give a “caring parent” response followed by a “rational adult” response.
Dealing with an Angry Person: Time Out …1 Three steps: STOP, THINK, ACT A. STOP (NEED FOR TIME OUT) • Indicate that you are feeling angry • Discuss the need for time out and/or time away from the situation • Leave the situation
Dealing with an Angry Person: Time Out …2 • B. THINK (TAKE TIME TO ASSESS THE SITUATION) • Work at calming down the body • CALMING REMINDERS: • Avoid taking anger personally • Maintain a sense of self worth • Maintain perspective • Avoid feeding fears • Decide to be in control • Avoid being judgmental • Maintain a problem solving attitude • Become receptive to views of others
Dealing with an Angry Person: Time Out …3 • C. ACT (COMING BACK AFTER TAKING TIME OUT) • Be willing to admit to self and others that you might have been a contributing factor • Agree to work together to continue discussing problems • Empathic listening: “What you were saying was ...” • Fogging:“Let me think about that ...” • Admitting mistake: “You were right, it was wrong for me to ...” • Negative inquiry: “Are there other things that I do to hurt you ...”
Dealing with an Angry Person: Active Listening • Diagnostic tool • Disarming device • Helps in clarification • Helps in rationalizing • Develops clear thinking • Improves communication • Preserves dignity
Conflict Resolution Modes • Competition: Quick decisions • Collaboration: Integrating solutions • Avoidance: Trivial issues • Accommodation: Show being reasonable when you are wrong • Compromise: When goals are important but not worth the effort to cause any disruption
Thoughts for Reflection • Read and reflect with a partner: • 5.1 What anger is • 5.2 What anger is not • 5.3 Points to Ponder • 5.4 Resolving conflicts by managing anger • 5.5 Five conflict handling orientations • 5.6 Calming reminders • 5.7 The value of “I” messages
Skill Building Activities • Complete Worksheet 5.1: Self-Assessment of Anger • Complete Worksheet 5.2: Managing Your Anger • Complete Worksheet 5.3: Learning Active Listening • Complete Worksheet 5.4: Transforming Anger into Behavior Change Goals