Mourning in the 19 th Century

1. Mourning in the 19th Century Kathryn Gentry Dr. Olsen English 111 October 10th 2007 Tusculum College

2. Morbidity Origins The late nineteenth century was possibly one of the most morbid times in America. This is exemplified by some of the art and poetry in Godey’s Lady’s Book, a popular magazine for women that contained poetry, art, music, and advice for women in the nineteenth century (Godey’s Lady’s Book Online). Practices of holding onto the dead and departed, searching for a connection to the afterlife, cherishing the possessions of the lost all began during this period. Nineteenth century people thought about death constantly as the age expectancy was very low and the death toll of the Civil War was the highest ever in America. Practices of mourning the dead that are still observed today have their origins in the nineteenth century.

4. A Good-by Song. by Giftie Think of me In that hour, dear friend, with tears, For the hopes of other years- Hopes that seemed in youth so bright, Whose false glory now is fled For the joys I prized so much – Joys that slumber with the dead; By the burning tear-drops shed, By the heart that long has bled, Weep for me Think of me In that hour, love, with a sigh, That, though hope has long gone by, Though my soul is wasted now, Think of me When the daylight groweth pale, When the night-winds round thee wail; When the pale-browed queen of night Walks with her calm light on high; When the first faint stars of even Look upon thee from the sky; In the hour when care shall cease, When they spirit is at peace, Think of me. Think of me In that hour, love, with a smile, For falsehoods that no more beguile For the follies that are past, For the cares that vex no more, For the love that seemed so true, Whose false reign for aye is o’er: That my heart at last is old, Careless, proud, suspicious, cold, Smile for me. The idol fallen on its shrine, I still cling with such devotion To that early dream of mine: That I cannot quite forget, E’en’mid anguish and regret, Sigh for me. Think of me In that hour, love, with a prayer; And the God who sees thee there, With pale face and bended knee, Pleaded in low tones for me, He, perchance, will heal the heart That so long has bled, Bind again the bruised reed, Raise the drooping head; Teach me, in my hopeless grief,To raise my thoughts on high – Fit me, at last, to dwell in heaven, Where love can never die: Pray for me.

5. Philosophy Behind Mourning Denial of Death The time period for this new style of mourning was the perfect setting. According to Nygard, Romanticism and the cult of melancholy was dominant, Victorian influence from Europe was ornate, ostentatious, and sentimental; these conceptions of life and the general mind set of the time reinforced the idea of the denial of death. The nineteenth century was the first to try to deny that death could happen and when it did, they lamented unlike the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. They began to hold elaborate funerals and go through complex mourning practices when a loved one died (Nygard 569). As seen in the poem “A Good-By Song” from Godey’s Lady’s Book, death became an idea to dwell on; the dead person in the poem is asking a presumably living loved one to remember him or her and to feel pity for the speaker. The speaker is constantly asking someone to think of him or her, to keep a connection between the living and the dead. Ghost Photography The somewhat skeptical practice of capturing a ghost in a photograph emerged during this time in order to strengthen this connection between the living and the dead. Ghosts were either seen as shadows or balls of light that unexpectedly appeared in a photograph. These photos were especially popular during the Civil War era as over 600,000 people had died and sometimes off the battlefield due to strange circumstances(Walton 995).

6. The Four Eras of Life

7. Practices of Mourning Dress In trying to keep a strong connection to the dead, many new crafts and practices emerged in order to focus on the significance of the loss. A new etiquette concerning mourning has become one the most commonly recognized stereotypes: the mourning widow. A widow in the late nineteenth century would wear yards of black fabric despite the season and would sport a long black veil, black gloves, black shoes, black jewelry, and even black accents on her undergarments (Nygard 570). Although the clothes were elaborate and therefore very expensive, it was considered unlucky to keep these mourning clothes in a house where they were not needed; therefore, for each significant death, a new attire would have to be purchased for the mourning process. This practice, therefore, was very expensive, never mind the intermediate steps between the beginning and end of the two and half year mourning period, which consisted of fading from black to purple attire. Mourning dress became a business and Godey’s Lady’s Book helped this new economy by publishing the latest fashions for mourning. The grieving process was also encouraged by beautiful engravings such as the “Four Eras of Life,” an image of the different periods of life which focuses on the fourth era, death, the most by showing the people around the death bed putting their faces in their hands, praying, and generally looking upset. This emphasis on death and not the joy for the otherwise happy events in the other eras put a message into readers’ minds that death was to be taken very seriously and to be dwelled upon more so than the cheerful events. The women who read Godey’s Lady’s Book, therefore, were most willing to invest their money and time into mourning clothes.

8. Practices of Mourning (Continued) Death Photography Another attempt at rekindling the connection between the departed and the still living was through post-mortem photography and drawing. A photograph or drawing of a person very soon after he or she has expired was thought to contain the very last essence of the dead. They became so popular that people would often pay up to twice the normal price of a portrait in order to have a post-mortem photograph or drawing (Nygard 571). The drawings often tried to portray the person as sleeping but hints of the subject’s actual condition was given through stereotypical symbols of death such as a black or wilting rose (Nygard 572). Photographs were often more complex. For example, a mother of a recently deceased child may go so far as to cleanse the body, dress the body, and place the body on a sofa or chair and have the child photographed so as appear as though he or she was merely sleeping (Nygard 572). These drawings and photographs were cherished and were often displayed predominantly in the home of the deceased. Hair Tokens One of the more intimate ways of keeping a connection with the dead was through collecting their hair and making art out of it. According to Nygard, hair was considered an “ancient symbol of life” and therefore used in art to remember the deceased, it acted as a “communion” with the dead. During the Civil War, before they left, soldiers would give their loved ones locks of their hair and often their wives or lovers would use these pieces of hair in lockets in addition to a picture of the soldier (Nygard 572).

9. New Funeral Practices Local and Extravagant Funerals Another way of putting significance on the deceased was by holding very extravagant and local funerals. Before the late nineteenth century, funerals were relatively private, kept in the home, and only open to close family and relatives. However, this changed as the importance of death seeped into everyday life. Funeral homes and extravagant, overdone ceremonies replaced the quiet private funerals; anyone that was associated with the deceased was invited to the funeral and, once embalming became more widespread, the body would be on display for everyone to see (Nygard 569). The practice of having a local funeral and reception was encouraged by the emergence of a code of etiquette when burying a dead soldier. In modern times, soldier funerals are among some of the most extravagant: there are gun fires and the casket is draped by an American Flag but before the Civil War such civility was not used. The high amount of casualties in the Civil War forced families to change how they held funerals. With their loved ones dying far away from home, they often had to request that the body be embalmed and sent back home. The body was normally on display for public viewing. This is exemplified most by Abraham Lincoln after he died: his body was embalmed and then paraded about the northeast and Midwest (Wolfe 164). Before the Civil War, most soldiers died close to home and therefore their funerals could be private and small, but with the example of Lincoln’s body, and the distance that most soldiers’ bodies had to travel, military funerals became more extravagant.

10. New Funeral Practices (Continued) Cemetery Visits & Photography In keeping up with the Jones, or in this case, the dead Jones, the practice of revisiting gravesites came into being. Mourners would now visit the cemetery of their departed person unlike those in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, who would simply bury their beloved and walk away, normally never to return except to bury another person (Nygard 569). Photographing gravesites became a common practice and was considered another important art form in preserving the connection with the dead (Nygard 572). Civil War gravesites were especially important, as they became sites of historical significance (Palkovich 733). Embalming One of the most noteworthy new practices of the nineteenth century was the use of embalming. Embalming had been used before the Civil War but it became more widespread as the demand for soldiers’ bodies to be returned home in order to have a funeral increased (Wolfe 163). After the Civil War, embalming began to be used by everyone in order to display the deceased at funerals and in the home for long periods of time.

11. 19th Century in Comparison to Modern Times Similarities Many of the practices mentioned are still in use today. Rings made of the hair of a deceased person, the act of burying a person with an item or leaving a sentimental item behind to a particular person, embalming, extravagant funerals, and the dwelling on the loss of a love one; these intimate affairs all began in the late nineteenth century. The way we as Americans mourn would be very different if not for these new practices.

12. Bibliography Godey’s Lady’s Book Online. 8 October 2007 <http://www.history.rochester.edu/godeys/>. Nygard, Paul David. “The American Family and the Processing of Death.” Handbook of Death and Dying. Eds. Clifton D. Bryant. 2 vols. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2003. 569-572. Palkovich, Ann M. “Momuments in Motion.” Handbook of Death and Dying. Eds. Clifton D. Bryant. 2 vols. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2003. 733. Walton, Charles E. “Death in Art.” Handbook of Death and Dying. Eds. Clifton D. Bryant. 2 vols. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2003. 994-995 Wolfe, Timothy W. “Full Military Honors.” Handbook of Death and Dying. Eds. Clifton D. Bryant. 2 vols. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2003. 163-164.