Advanced Technical writing

1. Presenter/Coordinator: David Silverstein month xx, 2009 AdvancedTechnical writing

2. Overview 60-min Presentation (with Q&A) Introduce WCC Program Advanced Writing Strategies (50min) • Additional Diction Concerns • Email Considerations • Visualization of Data • Technical Report Structure

3. WCC Program Writing & Communications Center • One-on-one tutorial • 210 Morton • Any Stevens course, any semester Monday to Thursday 3–5pm Open late Tues/Thurs – 7pm Walk-ins welcome. Appointments available.

4. WCC Program (Cont.) WCC tutors can: • Help report style & layout • Help revise/edit term paper • Help craft bibliography/references • Help shape presentations/slides • Help practice speaking/delivery • Answer questions about: • Grammar, punctuation, syntax • Other writing/communication issues

5. WCC Program (Cont.) WCC Workshops for Design Spine Courses:

6. Why? NAE concludes*: • Elected representatives are ill-equipped to make decisions about tech-related issues. • Students, parents & teachers remain uninformed about engineering and the contributions of the field which continues to deter students from studying engineering. *Raising Public Awareness of Engineering: National Academy of Engineering, National Academies Press, 2002.

7. 1 Innovation  3 Audiences Ceramic Water Filters Technological innovation: • Used by multiple audiences • Various business & technical sectors

8. Ceramic Water Filters Consumer Level Language geared to a non-technical audience. Impact tailored to consumer-level audience

9. Ceramic Water Filters Contract or Business Level Language geared to a business-minded audience. Addresses audience’s main concern: cost.

10. Ceramic Water Filters TechnicalLevel Language geared to a technical audience. Presentation follows technical format. Specific values are highlighted.

11. Workshop Review Rhetorical Triangle & Writing Process • H.E.L.P. – Ethos, Logos, Pathos • Invention, Composition, Revision Technical Writing Considerations • Audience & Tone & Diction • Avoid Jargon, Idioms, Euphemisms • Explain Acronyms • Be Specific & Detailed

12. Additional Diction Choices

13. Additional Diction Choices For technical documents, always try to: • Avoid Empty & Unnecessary Language • Use Strong Verbs • Use Active Voice – Not Passive Voice • Maintain Parallel Structure & Consistency Especially important when addressing a lay audience.

14. Diction – Empty Language George Carlin – On Language (2min) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DagVklB4VHQ

15. Diction – Empty Language Something else we have in common: flying on the airlines, and listening to the airlines’ announcements, and trying to pretend to ourselves that the language they’re using is really English. Doesn’t seem like it to me.Whole thing starts when you get to the gate. First announcement: “We would like to begin the boarding process.” Extra word, ‘process,’ not necessary, ‘boarding’ is enough. “We’d like to begin the boarding.” Simple, tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important than they really are. ‘Boarding process.’ Sounds important. It isn’t. It’s just a bunch of people getting on an airplane.People like to sound important. Weathermen on television talk about ‘shower activity.’ Sounds more important than ‘showers.’ I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a ‘rain event.’ Swear to God, he said, “Louisiana’s expecting a rain event,” I thought, “Holy shit, I hope I can get tickets to that!”‘Emergency situation.’ Newspeople like to say, “Police have responded to an emergency situation.” No they haven’t. They’ve responded to an emergency. We know it’s a situation, everything is a situation.Anyway, as part of this ‘boarding process,’ they say, “We would like to pre-board.” Well, what exactly is that, anyway? What does it mean to ‘pre-board’, you get on before you get on?That’s another complaint of mine: too much use of this prefix ‘pre-,’ it’s all over the language now, ‘pre-’ this, ‘pre-’ that. “Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven.” That’s ridiculous, there’s only two states an oven can possibly exist in, heated or un-heated! ‘Pre-heated’ is a meaningless fucking term. It’s like ‘pre-recorded,’ “this program was pre-recorded,” well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you gonna record it, afterwards? That’s the whole purpose of recording, to do it beforehand. Otherwise, it doesn’t really work, does it? The next sentence I hear is full of things that piss me off. "Before leaving the aircraft, please check around your immediate seating area for any personal belongings you might have brought onboard." Well, let's start with immediate seating area--SEAT! It's a goddamn seat! Check around your seat! "For any personal belongings." Well, what other kinds of belongings are there, besides personal--public belongings? Do these people honestly think I might be traveling with a fountain I stole from the park. "You might have brought onboard." I might have brought my arrowhead collection--I didn't, so I'm not going to look for it! I am going to look for things I brought onboard, which seems to enhance my likelihood of finding something, wouldn't you say?

16. Diction – Empty Language Avoid empty words and phrases!

17. Diction – Use Strong Verbs Avoid overusing “to be” & “to get”: • Lack specificity of action • Often repetitive & wordy

18. Diction – Shifting Tenses Try to maintain same verb tense. • Shifting sounds amateurish & confusing * Excerpted from Spring Into Technical Writing by Barry Rosenberg, p35.

19. Diction – Active & Passive Voice Thing acted upon (Object) Jack hit the ball. The ball was hit by Jack. Thing doing the action (Subject) The action (Verb) Thing acted upon (Object) Thing doing the action (Subject)

20. Diction – Active & Passive Voice Use Active Tense more often. • Easier to read, fewer weak verbs • 80% Active, 20% Passive

21. Diction – Active & Passive Voice Use Passive Tense occasionally for bad news: Subjects (or one doing the action) are not included. Sounds disparaging. Sounds vague, unknown.

22. Diction – Parallel Structure Parallel Structure = same pattern of words to indicate same importance

23. Email considerations

24. Bad Email Examples Sir, I need an appointmint 2 revise. Ghow’s 2. hiiii David, this is Abner and Hank. First of all sorry for the late reply but due to some of the inconviniency I am mailing the topic today so the topic is CLEAN IN PLACE SYSTEM FOR CLEANING PHARMACEUTICAL PROCESS VESSELS. OK.We will meet you today at the venue that you have already given. please forgive for the late reply.Thanking you…

25. Email Considerations Email is not always casual! • Use a colon or dash after name • Find recipient’s name • Reader Centered Purpose Statement (RCPS) • Spelling counts; Email ≠ IM/Text • Include phone number (if needed) • Type your name/salutation • Be polite, direct & succinct • People don’t hire you because they’re looking for a cool friend at work. • Examples: • Hello Dan: • Hi Jennifer –

26. Data Visualization

27. Visualization of Data • Synthesize & reinforce information • Provide faster impact • Add variety & interest

28. Visualization of Data

29. Visual Data – Examples What’s more interesting to engage? Chrysaora fuscescens (sometimes generally referred to as the Pacific sea nettle or the West Coast sea nettle) is a common variety of true jellyfish, found in the Pacific Ocean mostly near the coast from California to Alaska (perhaps also to Japan). Diameter of the body (the "bell") can be greater than 1 meter, although most are less than 50 cm across. The long, complicated, spiraling oral arms and the 24 tentacles may trail as far as 3.6 to 4.6 meters behind the bell.

30. Visual Data – Examples Chrysaora Fuscescens* aka: Pacific Sea Nettle, West Coast Sea Nettle The "bell“ or body can be greater than one meter in diameter, though most are ≤50 cm across. The long, spiraling oral arms & the 24 tentacles may trail as far as 3.6-4.6 meters behind the bell. *Located in the Pacific near California and Alaska (& perhaps Japan).

31. Visual Data – Examples Again, what’s more interesting to engage? • The Bluefeld Board of Commissioners invites the citizens of Bluefeld to a site visit for the proposed new recreation center – Smith Hall. The site in consideration for the new building is across from the Heating Plant (Acorn Street) on the portion of the land where the old parking lot stands. •  The Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), the architect, and construction manager will all be in attendance. Refreshments and food will be served from 1pm to 3pm on Saturday.

32. Visual Data – Examples Future Site of the New Recreation Center:Smith Hall SITE VISIT: 1-3p, Saturday March 6, 2008 Food & drinks will be served. The Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), Brian Jones (Architect), and Joan Smith (Construction Manager) will attend.

33. Visual Data – Examples Which display is most accessible/immediate? This table?

34. Visual Data – Examples Or this graph?

35. Visual Data – Examples In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPM’s fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video).

36. Visual Data – Examples In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPM’s fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video).

37. Label Your Information

38. Which Visual to Use? • You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss?

39. Which Visual to Use? • You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss? A: Use a flowchart. Also, consider adding footnotes and/or screenshots for further illustration.

40. Which Visual to Use? • You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an email response, what do you send/say?

41. Which Visual to Use? • You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an email response, what do you send/say? A: Send a map or link to map.

42. Which Visual to Use? • You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material?

43. Which Visual to Use? • You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material? A:Use a table with specific numbers or a pie chart that includes specific totals.

44. Technical Report Structure

45. Technical Report Structure Three major sections:

46. Technical Report – Organization How will readers process your report? • Read straight through or bounce around? • Explain acronyms/jargon terms per section? • Make it accessible? Cross referenced? • Do not overwhelm – Use Appendices • Style Counts! Use images, charts, tables, etc…

47. Report – Front Matter

48. Report – Title Page

49. Report – Title Page 5. Honor Pledge 1. Detailed Title 2. Submitted to: 3. Prepared by: 4. Date

50. Report – Table of Contents Example #1: While the necessary sections are listed below, this example is too basic and not detailed enough. Example #2: Notice that while it could still be improved, this example already provides more detailed information to the reader.